Whelp, From Dusk Till Dawn is now considered Rated G thanks to this updated Hatchet-version.(Before I continue, #1 there's more to my comparison than claiming there are vampires in this feature - they're not and #2 by "updated" I meant more than decade after when From Dusk Till Dawn was released. The Cottage is now 10 years old, but I just now discovered it.)I digress...but, wait, 10 years old now and no sequel? Shame!I digress again. The "Horror" entertainment streaming channel, Shudder, has certainly tricked me before. I pay the subscription price for HORROR and sometimes begin an unknown movie to me and it's engaging, but by the time it's over, it's certainly NOT horror. It ends up being an action, comedy, revenge or just dark drama. But, not horror. Shudder seems to think if there's one tiny scene of someone accidently cutting themselves or being accused of a crime in a flashback, it's horror. It's not. I'd say nice try, and while I like a ton of the movies I do watch on Shudder that happen to NOT be horror, I'm pissed because that's not I went in for. That's not what I'm paying Shudder for.Shoot. Do I have to digress again? Not really. I'm getting to my point in three, two...The moment The Cottage began, I simultaneously liked it and thought: here we go again - another non-Horror, but enjoyable dark film on Shudder. The opening credits and music immediately sets the tone for fun, humor and dark-twists. And it delivers, tenfold. Well, for at least the first half of the movie.Two ridiculously inept kidnapper brothers take their incredibly annoying victim to the Movie's Title and as their on-paper good plan hilariously falls apart and more and more bad things happen, they couldn't have predicted just HOW BAD THINGS COULD GET.Heck, I couldn't even see what's coming as it appears Movie 1 ended about half-way through and its immediate sequel upped the ante in blood, gore, tension and kills tenfold. (See? From Dusk Till Dawn, but on steroids.)This was a gem I stumbled across and was super glad I did. As stated, I already liked it a ton when it was a straight up, dark (and hilarious) comedy with some gore and I liked to see where it was going. Not to mention it's ALWAYS great seeing the fantastic Andy Serkis in "real life." But, when the movie switched over to its bloody conclusion, tension spiked, the interest swelled and it was a no hold barred roller coaster of unpredictable madness. Can't think of many negatives here, except I could NOT stand the character of the kidnapped victim, though, obviously, she played her role perfectly to advance the plot and characters around her. It was just, personally, I probably would've shot her in the head and forget the money. Totally worth it. The only other slight negative and, again, this is personal, so it's what I see through my eyes and the film should not be held to my own standards: far too many mistakes and incredible missed opportunities were made by the characters. Granted, that was who they were, but dang, sometimes it was frustrating. To me, anyways.The movie was tight, kept us mostly in the dark with exposition, though gave us enough knowledge of what's going on and it didn't overstay its welcome, talk down to the audience or force feed us anything we didn't need to know to advance the story. While I joked earlier about the lack of a sequel, none is really needed to explain more. In fact, it might hinder the setup here and definitely would be inferior to all they accomplished in this one.Needless to say, I was blown away and would highly recommend this movie. Especially for fans of horror-comedies and for those who liked Shaun of the Dead, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, The Cabin in the Woods, Severance, the other similarly titled, Cottage Country and as referenced: Hatchet and From Dusk Till Dawn.Oh, and FINally, make sure you stay/fast forward to the end of the credits. I usually don't say that for theatre experiences, but since this is only available for home viewing...it's worth it.***Final thoughts: I'm definitely considering buying this, but sadly, it doesn't look like it's on BluRay, yet, anyways. Too bad. This is a hidden treasure more fans should absolutely support.....and so I did. I just bought it now. Under $7 DVD, not bad, and even better, I had $2.77 in reward points, so brand new and unrated for $4.21. Not bad! Still, I'd recommend you supporting this whether on streaming or DVD, with or without the discount.

Taking their charge to a secluded cabin in the woods, a pair of kidnapper's struggles to keep her in control eventually bring them into contact with the deranged farmer on the next-door-lot and must fend him off to get away alive.Frankly, this was a plainly confusing entry that really doesn't know what it wants to be. The first half to this one plays it quite straight-up as a gangster comedy with the inept kidnappers squabbling with each other over their own issues, from the ineptitude to carry out the kidnapping in accordance to the rules of the act to their family issues and general insecurities throughout, yet none of this is all that impressive or enjoyable due to a lack of exciting actions and the feeling that this was supposed to be a slapstick-style comedy in earnest. However, none of what happens in here is really all that funny and seems to consist of everyone in here cursing out everyone else instead of actually doing something. Once the escape attempt occurs and it turns into a horror film, there's a lot more enjoyable actions here with some genuinely chilling suspense scenes as the initial search through the house reveals a far greater danger than they ever expected and is laid out beautifully to allow that, the march through the bear-trap-filled field in the dead of night as well as the stalking in the barn which really gets this going with some wholly impressive shocks as the deformed killer emerges from amongst a roomful of similarly-severed heads for a masterful jump sequence. As well, it doles out the blood and gore quite nicely with plenty of verve here as this is quite bloody with a lot to really like in terms of dismembering the victims with all sorts of wicked tools here, yet this section also gives off the film's biggest flaw as well in that it again tries to make this a horror/comedy yet none of what happens is all that funny. The failed humor of their predicament against the lame kidnapping humor in turn makes this quite problematic overall when the horror segments here work wonderfully if played straight, and the conflicting tone of this one overall makes for a troubling if somewhat rewarding experience.Rated R: Extreme Graphic Language, Graphic Violence and Brief Nudity.

This is a very entertaining comedy-horror though it is more horror than comedy. The supremely talented Andy Serkis and Reece Shearsmith are two brothers who have kidnapped Jennifer Ellison and are holding out for a ransom in an old cottage. Needless to say things don't go to plan and things get very bloody. It does seem to be two films in one- the first half comedy-thriller and the second half slasher but this is not a downfall in my opinion. The film comes across as fresh and different to a lot of other more straightforward horrors. What really elevates the film way above its contemporaries is the acting. Both the leads put in great performances and Jennifer Ellison is wonderfully over the top and foul mouthed as the kidnapped victim. The horror -comedy genre is pretty difficult to get right but there are plenty of genuinely creepy moments as well as a few laughs to make this one of the rare successes of the genre. The ending is also excellent and surprising which is also rare for a horror film. This film really is entertaining from start to finish and is highly recommended.

The Cottage had a couple good things going for it. The acting is pretty solid overall and the soundtrack is excellent. The background music is classic 80's slasher horror orchestra, a real treat for horror fanatics. I wanted to love this movie, I wanted to like it, but it falls apart in so many aspects.One major problem is that the crazed farmer's face looks like a cheap plastic mask. He was supposed to have been disfigured in a farming accident, but the makeup is just horrible on him. Some cover-boy...The biggest downfall of this film is the lack of logic. I'll describe 2 of the many examples: A man has been stabbed through the leg with a pick ax. He pulls it out and tosses it aside, knowing full well he's in the middle of nowhere with a homicidal maniac chasing after him. Why wouldn't he keep the pick ax for a weapon?! He can't run away with that hole in his leg, and eventually the maniac comes chasing after him with that very same pick ax. How incredibly stupid is that?! Another laughable example of sloppiness: the Asian goon squad. Their actions are inexplicable and their motives are never explained. They appear to have been hired for a hostage negotiation and a possible hit, but they never attempt to make contact with the rest of the characters. All they do is creep around the cottage, even when there's ample opportunity to make a move. And they're armed with only hunting knives. What kind of assassins don't carry guns?! The top Netflix review says The Cottage is brilliant. I say, as the British might put it, its rubbish.