Other users on this site seemed to enjoy STITCHES, an Irish comedy horror about a clown who comes back from the dead to seek revenge on those who had him killed, but I thought it made for a pitiful viewing experience. As a comedy horror it's a dreadfully unfunny film, one of those low budget productions with a script that confuses crudity for wit and remains continually unfunny as a result.Even worse, STITCHES is saddled with a grating lead performance from non-actor Ross Noble, who seems to regard himself as some kind of comedian; well, not on the strength of this amateurish production. Still, even Noble seems like a professional compared to the younger cast members, who mumble away in heavily accented English and remain incomprehensible for the most part.As the story goes on, it becomes apparent that the sole aim of STITCHES is to deliver one outrageous gore scene after another. There are body parts aplenty in this film with sick stunts involving brains, eyeballs, severed limbs and the like. The quality of the special effects isn't too poor for the budget, but aside from the basic gross-out, these gore sequences achieve nothing. They're not funny, disturbing, or horrific, just silly. As is the film itself.

The comedy stylings of Ross Noble are quite familiar to audiences in the U.K. and have here found a unique expression indeed. Under the direction of Conor McMahon, Noble gives what is nothing less than the performance of a lifetime as Stitches the Clown. He gives the character of the revenge seeking clown a sinister humanity and surprising depth while at the same time adding some twisted humor. The blood and gore is certainly abundant and some of it is quite shocking. However, while the horror is intense and at times almost unendurable, the overwhelming nature of the terrible acts serve to amplify the heartbreak Stitches feels. For this is a clown betrayed, hurt deeply and profoundly changed by what he has suffered at the hands of self-absorbed young people. This stands as one of the truly superior Killer Clown films ever made and it's unlikely to ever be surpassed.

There is a big difference between the "worst movie" ever and your least favorite. "Stitches" might be a bad movie, but I could hardly call it the worst. It's competently shot, decently acted and the gore effects are pretty well done. If I was judging on a purely objective scale, this film would probably get 3, maybe 4 stars.However, once you take into account the actual viewing experience, you begin to realize why I gave it this grade. If you like "Stitches", good for you. I won't take that away from you. But for me, personally, it was probably the worst viewing experience I've had in my life.I'm a fan of a good dark comedy, but it has to be good. "Stitches" isn't funny, and it isn't scary. It's dismal, gross, nasty and all around unpleasant. It's got a wicked mean streak, and it's not remotely funny enough to justify it. I think I laughed once, and it was a weak chuckle at best.See it for yourself if you'd like, but don't say I didn't warn you.

I truly did not have high expectations for this movie, however, I expected more than I got. This movie is simply ridiculous. This movie is about a clown (named Stitches: SHOCKER) who dies in a freak accident while entertaining at a kid's birthday party. Stitches COMES BACK TO LIFE to terrorize the kid who he believes if the reason he was killed. Did I mention they are in Australia or something? Anyway, this kid, who is mentally disturbed on account of him having witnessed the violent death of a clown as a child, sneaks around to figure out why the clown came back to life or whatever. He basically ends up walking into some ancient clown ritual that involves drawing faces on eggs (don't ask me). Anyway, long story short, this movie includes zombie clowns, Australian children, and ancient clown rituals. 5.7 stars my ass.