For a film that's the prequel of a sequel to a remake, you can hardly go in expecting cinematic gold. Maybe a little fun and plenty of action, if you're lucky. Thankfully, that's exactly what I got when I sat down to watch this, the offspring of THE MUMMY RETURNS, set in the ancient Middle East and detailing a strongman's rebellion against an enemy army. On the face of it, THE SCORPION KING is another in a long line of sword-and-sandal epics, bearing a superficial resemblance to the Steve Reeves-starrers of the '50s and '60s, but at heart this is a cheesy romp more in line with '80s offerings like CONAN THE DESTROYER. It doesn't care much about plot, originality, or authenticity: it's a kid's film designed to entertain, and that's exactly what it does.Now, I'm not a big fan of these movies. The Rock's first line is 'Boo' and we're immediately into muck-about action of the kind made popular in the two '90s TV shows, HERCULES: THE LEGENDARY JOURNEYS and XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS. Then the wah-wah guitar music starts, and I was reminded unfavourably of KULL THE CONQUEROR, a film very similar to this except that it had a much smaller budget. Still, as I watched, I realised something: this wasn't actually too bad. A lot of the goodwill I was feeling comes from the presence of The Rock, here in his first leading role; he has an immense likability to him, and the ability not to take himself too seriously, just as Schwarzenegger was in the '80s. Okay, so he's no great shakes as an actor, but his physicality fills the screen and he adds a lot of energy to what plays out.The rest of the film is so-so. The plot is average, and quickly becomes formulaic: escape from these guys here, chase there, recaptured here, a fight scene there, then a lead-up to the ending. The supporting cast is also utterly predictable: ruffian children tagging along; an Asian-looking sorceress (Kelly Hu acquits herself better than Tia Carrera in KULL THE CONQUEROR, but only just); a tough, handsome bad guy (forgettable Scotsman Steven Brand); an eccentric Bernard Hill (also starring in the excellent LORD OF THE RINGS movies around this time) and Michael Clarke Duncan, the only person who could conceivably give The Rock an ass-whupping; needless to say, the extended bout between the two is a highlight. The action is passable without being inspiring or well choreographed, but the budget – clearly lower than usual – is put to good use, especially for the explosive climax. Director Chuck Russell made one of my favourite B-movies, the '80s BLOB remake, but his creativity doesn't make much of an impact here. Still, I liked The Rock and the short running time meant I didn't get bored, so THE SCORPION KING must have something going for it.

The ability to win over new fans is not easy when one is shoved into the limelight so quickly. After briefly appearing as The Scorpion King in Stephen Sommers' anticipated sequel The Mummy Returns (2001), Universal Studios believed that it was time to create their spin-off starring none other than Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Originally only taking part in wrestling, Johnson was bit by the acting bug and agreed to star in this film as his feature debut. As known by many, this spin-off movie was a prequel, to a sequel of a movie that was a remake of an older movie. Sounds confusing, but it can be understood. Once you think about it, it does make sense. As for being a well-written story,..not really. There are a lot of pluses to this film but it has its drawbacks too.As a film that tells the background to how Mathayus, The Scorpion King (Dwayne Johnson) got his name, it doesn't really declare itself publicly. Yet somehow, everyone knows by the end. Originally, Mathayus belonged to a group of hired assassins during a time when a ruthless dictator known as Memnon (Steven Brand) was looking to conquer everybody and anybody. Mathayus and his fellow assassins were hired to take out Memnon and a powerful sorceress (Kelly Hu) who sees visions of the future. All the same like other assassins hired to kill, they end up getting caught caring too much. This happens when Mathayus and the sorceress become attached to each other. As an origin story, the narrative is mostly predictable. Also, since it is a prequel, audiences already have an idea of what is going to happen. However, this doesn't make the viewing experience unwatchable. Aside from the story being a touch too cliché, there are a couple of other setbacks.The first belongs to the sorceress' powers to see into the future. There isn't any logic behind this other than it just being shown that she has these powers. In other words, the audience just has to accept this as a fact and not care about the reasoning. Yet for viewers who have a harder time shutting off their brain or are just more inquisitive, the understanding behind how she acquired her powers would've been appreciated to have. The other issue is the tone of the script, which constantly flip-flops in the midst of goofy and serious. Thus, the end result tends to be an entire cheese fest because you want to take the story seriously but can't because of how certain situations are handled. Having a character give a rather immature nod to the audience because someone went to bed with them, kind of breaks the rules on how serious a viewer can take this story. Another example is pairing up the protagonist with mildly unneeded sidekick named Arpid (Grant Haslov). Most of his comments are just too obvious to be even said. As for who wrote those moments into the script, it most likely belonged to William Osborne (best known for writing Twins (1988) & everyone's hated Stallone film Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992)). The other writing credits belong to Stephen Sommers (rightfully so) and David Hayter (X-Men (2000), X-Men 2 (2003) & Watchmen (2009)). So it's not like every writer behind this production didn't have the credentials. The directing was also headed competently by the underrated Chuck Russell (A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987), The Blob (1988) remake & The Mask (1994)). Even with its cheese factor, the main cast is able to perform okay. Dwayne Johnson was no doubt the right choice to be Mathayus because what would a spin-off origin movie be if the actor doesn't return to play the role he made? Steven Brand is a worthy opponent to Johnson but it probably would've been an even better idea if Michael Clarke Duncan (who plays along side Johnson) was the enemy. It just would've been a better showdown.Kelly Hu is attractive in her own right and doesn't give a bland performance either. The rest of the cast (including Grant Haslov) also act okay but nothing that is of much importance. They do help near the end and add to the overall cheese at times but they a necessity. Cinematography was ably contributed by John R. Leonetti who was able to mimic Adrian Biddle's work from Sommers' The Mummy (1999) universe. There are lots of desert shots, while the set pieces appear grand and ancient. The action was also well choreographed and since sword fights aren't exactly the most used types of action sequences; it entertains. For the musical score, John Debney composed behind the film. For this listening experience, Debney uses a blend of organic orchestra with what also sounds like occasional rock/pop beats. This was probably used in order to accommodate Johnson's fans but the beats actually don't mess with the score too much. The action cues sound appropriate with the scene it follows and it's in line with the genre. If the story to this movie was taken a little more seriously, this probably would've entertained more.Its script is not clear on everything and its unequal tone makes the actors look occasionally cheesy on film. It's okay in some ways and others not so much. Luckily, the camera-work, action, music and main cast are able to manipulate it in their favor to entertain on very mindless level.

The way I see it, there are two ways to look at The Scorpion King: as a guy's guy, in which case TSK is the best movie ever made in the history of cinema, or as a critically thinking, intellectual male, in which case TSK is a somewhat amusing, 90-minute exercise in historical inaccuracy. Either way, I think the world would be an infinitely better place with Kelly Hu running about in skimpy outfits whilst pretending to be important. But…that could just be the (highly uninformed) opinion of my penis. Mr. Penis tends to cloud my judgment sometimes and here, he almost succeeded in convincing me that The Scorpion King is a good movie. But, all he really convinced me of was that I like Kelly Hu. A lot.There really isn't much story in The Scorpion King — a spin-off of The Mummy movies — but what little story there is focuses on Mathayus (The Rock, in his first starring role), the last of the Akkadians, and his quest to capture the precognitive sorceress (the aforementioned Hu) of the despotic king, Memnon (Steven Brand). There is also some nonsense about a band of "free" rebels, led by Balthazar (Michael Clarke Duncan) but, at the end of the day, all this flick needs is The Rock kicking much ass. And he does that. Quite well, actually.The Scorpion King was originally in theaters in 2002, but was just released on Blu-ray this recently. Both visually and aurally, this disc shines. It both looks and sounds great in the high-def format. It's in the extras department where this disc is lacking. There are interactive, documentary featurettes that you can access at various points in the film, but I always find these distracting and they don't really offer any great insights into the filmmaking process. I mean, who really wants to hear The Rock waxing rhapsodically about the desert locations where the film was shot? I know I don't. All I want to see is the goddamn People's Eyebrow, which is noticeably absent from this entire production.There is also a commentary track from director Chuck Russell, which is informative on a certain level but you won't be missing much if you decide to it skip entirely. And that's it for special features on this disc.All in all, if you're a fan of The Rock, the WWE, and big, dumb action movies then, by all means, this is the disc for you. Crank it up and let the Godsmack tunage blow you through the back wall of your goddamn living room. Otherwise, save your money and wait for the Blu-ray release of the infinitely more satisfying (on many, many levels…) Dark City.

I personally despise this movie and it is one of the worst movies I've seen! Everything about this movie is horrid. The acting was horrible, the attempts at humor were disgusting and the battle scene were just plain bad. The only halfway decent actor in this movie was the woman who played princess!!!! And just so you know, it is supposed an action movie with a touch of humor, not a comedy. I do not like Dwayne Johnson's acting at all but the others managed to be even worse. The stunts were very, very bad; they were poorly staged and badly executed. The parts that were supposed to be serious were just plain funny and the funny parts were awkward. I do NOT recommend it and it is a horrible prequel to a good series.