If you want to see a movie with a plot, don't watch Hell High. If you want to see a movie and not spend 2/3 of it scratching your head, don't see Hell High. In fact, if you grew up anywhere in the world other than Scarsdale, New York, DO NOT SEE HELL HIGH!!! It is the worst movie imaginable. But I will say, it does have one amazing redeeming quality. If you attended Scarsdale High School, I do recommend seeing it because about 8 minutes of the film are shot in the hallways and a science classroom. The feeling of seeing your high school in a "professional" horror movie is really cool and probably worth it for that if for no other reason. If you do not meet the one criteria I offered, It's the biggest waste of money EVER. You might as well take your 5 dollars and put them in a Cuisinart.

As a kid, Brooke, inadvertently causes the death of two college kids when she throws mud on them (I don't know either). 18 years later she is the high school teacher with unruly students. After bitch slapping one, the kid and his three friends (They include the token slut, fat geek, and 'rebbelious' outcast) attack her in her home. The teacher goes crazy (crazier). The optional commentary by Joe Bob makes this slightly more bearable. Whereas seeing this on it's own is almost a complete travesty. Who knows maybe I was too sober for this flick. But I highly doubt it.DVD Extra: Intro by Joe Bob Briggs; Joe Bob Briggs commentary; second commentary with director Douglas Grossman; Interview with Grossman; Writer Leo Evans interview; red band theatrical trailer; 2 TV spots; Trailers for "Blood Shack", "Flesh Eaters", "Faceless", and "The Hollywood Strangler meets the Skidrow Slasher" Eye Candy: Karen Russell goes topless (the only real ones in the flick); Mauren Mooney shows ass, the breasts are a body Double (BOOOO!!!!); and another body double for Millie Prezioso (double BOOOO!!!) My Grade: D

This is the stupidest film I've seen since "Zombie Nightmare." A little girl with blond pigtails and a frilly pink dress (The Bad Seed, anyone?) accidentally kills a teenage biker and his girlfriend by throwing swamp mud into their faces while they are driving. The two are thrown and impaled on some conveniently placed stakes and the girl runs away, forever scarred and guilt ridden. Fast forward about 20 years and the pigtailed little cretin is now a science teacher at a local high school. Her students are unruly and disrespectful and when she slaps one arrogant jerk across the face, he vows revenge. He and his loser friends - cast an overweight nerd, a slut and a dumb jock - attack the teacher in her house one night, throwing handfuls of green swamp muck against her windows and dancing on her roof whilst wearing Halloween masks. Of course, they take the whole thing Too Far and the already mentally fragile teacher snaps, running around the rest of the movie in a silky nightie with a machete in one hand. This really isn't a typical slasher, if you want the truth. The terrorized teens all deserve what they get, displaying no morals whatsoever and basically proving themselves to be every bit as psychotic as their teacher. There are some nice touches to be found here: the killer is a woman, the slut swings both ways and the one guy with a thin moral streak is only Doing The Right Thing to save his own bright future. This film doesn't suffer from unoriginality - it suffers from painful stupidity. The script is horrible, the cast can't act worth a damn and the situations that arise are so utterly implausible that you'll be wondering if this was set in some parallel dimension where common sense doesn't exist. For example: the proper reaction upon finding your next door neighbor covered with mud and crouched in front of her broken window with a machete in her hand is NOT to force feed her some 'ludes and then leave! Good gods, who wrote this? A 5 year old with ADD?Once again, Joe Bob Briggs and his comedy commentary make this a much more bearable viewing experience. Otherwise, this is a terrible 80s slasher, filled with all of the hideous fashions of that depressing decade. A couple of graphic murders may impress gore fans, but sitting through the other 70 odd minutes just isn't worth the effort. I've seen more interesting toilet bowl stains.

A little blonde girl accidentally kills a couple on a motorcycle for breaking her doll. "18 years later" she's a reclusive high school biology teacher (Maureen Mooney) with a pack of obnoxious students who hate her. After she slaps a punk named Dickens in the face for tossing test papers on the ground, he informs his gang friends "I'm gonna stick it to that bitch!," so one day after a football game they show up at her secluded home wearing masks, watch her take a shower, throw swamp sludge on her and try to rape her. She snaps and tries to kill herself by jumping out of a window, then recoops and gets revenge. Bloody and in her lingerie, she sticks a pencil in a guy's head, attacks with a butcher knife, plots a dissection and beats a girls face to a bloody mess with a rock. End of movie.This is sort-of like a teen version of I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE--a boring, no-thrills revenge movie with some T&A, a little gore, annoying characters and a relentlessly boring opening hour where nothing happens.Score: 2 out of 10