Busty'n'lusty medieval twins Mira (Leigh Harris) and Mara (Lynette Harris) vow to seek revenge on the evil sorcerer Traigon (a constantly snarling Roberto Ballestros) for both murdering their mother and attempting to kill them when they were little girls. Assisting the lovely ladies are horny barbarian Erlick (hunky Bob Nelson) and portly warrior Baldar (chubby wonder Bruno Key). Said mission is naturally easier said than done because Traigon has many tricks up his sleeve and is obsessed with sacrificing one of the beautiful'n'bountiful babes so he can become powerful enough to rule the world. Director Jack Hill, working from a blithely dopey script co-written by Jim Wynorski, loads this laughably tacky sword and sorcery fantasy romp with all the necessary ingredients to make it a so-dumb-it's-fun high camp howler: a constant fast pace, gut-bustingly bad dialogue (favorite line: "Death is only death, swine!"), hokey (far from) special effects, terrible acting from a lame no-name cast, an outrageously overwrought conclusion, a few nifty monsters (I especially dug the satyr which nays like a goat and the winged lion), and, of course, a decent smattering of gratuitous distaff nudity courtesy of the absolutely delectable Harris sisters. As an added bonus, we even get a thrilling score from future Oscar-winning A-list composer James ("Titanic") Horner and a last reel appearance by an army of zombie swordsmen. Sure, this flick is goofy junk, but it's still quite entertainingly silly schlock just the same.

Very bad movie indeed, this one, born in the wake of Milius triumph, trying hard to follow its steps, but failing miserably on all levels (bar one, perhaps, as the Harris twins are far from miserable - they are gorgeous indeed!). Perhaps hoping to get some points back with humour where it cannot compete in budget, the movie is a classic sword and sorcery tale, one of the first in the steps of Conan, but, bad, bad, bad... I could have rent the VHS, instead of buying it... Better luck next time, I think

If there were any justice in the universe, the creators of this movie would be rounded up and burned alive on top of all existing copies of this incredibly stupid waste of celluloid.The ONLY good thing in the movie is seeing the twins topless, but even that couldn't make me watch this movie again.

I initially purchased this movie, along with two others, in a used bookstore's `Our Owner Is Dead Sale,' for the hefty price of one dollar. One must beg the question, of whether perhaps I got ripped off.Sorceress is bad. Astronomically bad. Not the kind of bad that we're used to. No, not mediocre Hollywood bad. It's so bad, it's almost a religious experience.The plot boils down to this: King/wizard Traigon promises his goddess, Kalgara (a big floating head that hisses and spits green lasers) to sacrifice his first-born child, for no apparent reason. However, he is quite bemused when his wife bears twins, making it difficult to discern which is the first-born. Deciding to resolve the question of their hierarchy later, he is about to seize the two infants, when he is killed by a Moses resembling, kung-fu fighter named Chronos or Chrona or some such. Chronos drops the twins off with some peasants and leaves. Years later, the FEMALE twins, named Mira and Mara, have been raised to believe themselves boys. A falsehood that is neither seen through by themselves OR the other characters in the movie, presumably because they wear hats. Anyhow, Traigon comes back from the dead (again, for no apparent reason) and orders his minions to find the `two who are one' (the twins.) An order which they fulfil almost instantaneously. After murdering the twins' adoptive family, the minions are made short work of by the plucky Mira and Mara, who are armed with big sticks. They also glow blue (once again, for no apparent reason.) After the evil minions are defeated, Baldar the big red Viking emerges from his hiding place behind the bushes to compliment the two young `men' on their fighting prowess. Then Chronos shows up and immolates himself in a bonfire (say it with me now `for no apparent reason'.) Anyhow, the remaining characters go on a quest of some sort, and are joined by Erlich the half-naked, befroed imbecile and the horribly perverse Pando the goat-boy (perhaps the most hateable character of all time.) Memorable scenes include: Mira and Mara emerging naked from the lake, to discover Pando the goat-boy grinning and "bah"ing at them in an entirely unwholesome way. (`What's that?' asks Mira or Mara `Which he carries there. Hanging between his legs. Is it a horn?' `A weapon perhaps?' adds Mara or Mira. `But how would he use such a weapon?' Then they beat the crap out of Pando and he runs crying.) Erlich's witty repertoire with the big, hairy, gravel-voiced gambler. (`Well, barbarian,' scoffs the semi-shaven wookie, in a dubbed on voice resembling a broken radiator, `don't dogs have ears? Don't they speak?' `We have ears,' replies Erlich, grinning like a lobotomy patient and holding two fingers on the sides of his head, `And we speak. Arf! Arf!') Mira and Mara's discovery of their actual gender. (`You're girls,' gasps Erlich as he sees the naked twins. `What do you mean?' asks Mira or Mara, confusedly. `I mean, you're not boys,' explains Erlich. `We're not?' wonders Mara or Mira. `Not boys? Are you sure?') Krakinon, the soldier who needs to cut down on the coffee, screaming with his eyes bugging out. (You really have to see it. It's a riot.) A butt-naked Erlich, sliding down a greased poll, where a sharpened stick waits for him in a VERY bad position below. (I… cannot describe the horror of this scene in mere words.) Mira or Mara feeling the effects of Erlich and Mara or Mira's `love boogey' miles away and reacting to it, causing Pando to become `excited.' (`Now I KNOW its Erlich,' comments Baldar as he stares at the moaning Mira or Mara, leaving us with the question of just HOW he knows. Suddenly, Pando rushes towards her and is stopped by Baldar. `She's under my protection,' warns Baldar. Frustrated, Pando begins to jump up and down and `bah' as he… as he… AAAAH! MUST GET THE MENTAL PICTURE OUT OF MY HEAD! NOOOOO!) A "battle between the gods' that consists of a poorly constructed winged lion and a floating head growling and hissing at each other, until one blows up. Two words: horny undead. And Pando leading an army of goats and goat herders into Traigon's palace, where they… just kinda mill around for, you guessed it, no apparent reason.There are so many more memorable scenes, but I don't think I have the stomach to convey them to you. However, I will add that the movie ends on a pro-polygamist note, as Erlich rationalizes, `Hey, these two ARE one.'I heartily recommend this film to masochists, as well as perverts who might find Pando's `antics' arousing.Did I mention that this film declines to feature any kind of `sorceress' whatsoever?