You get pretty much what you expect. poor dialogue, weak acting, Arnold showing his muscles, Brigitte Nielsen showing her legs, comedic sidekicks. but one part that always makes me laugh in this film, when Sonja tells Conan...er, Kalidor, "I don't need a man's help." except the men who trained her, fed her, housed her, armed her, and provided her horse. lol but the film was entertaining for what it was.

Red Sonja (1985) Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Brigitte Nielsen, Sandahl Bergman, Paul L. Smith, Ernie Reyes, Jr., Ronald Lacey, Pat Roach, Terry Richards, Ronald Lacey, Donna Osterbuhr, Lara Lamberti, Hans Meyer, Francesca Romana Coluzzi, Stefano Maria Mioni, Tutte Lemkow, Kiyoshi Yamasaki, and Tad Horino Directed By: Richard Fleischer Review A woman and a warrior that became a legend. Apparently Arnold uses this to punish his children, I can see why. I was dreading what I was in for when I heard about that and having just finished it I'm going to read a Red Sonja graphic novel that shows this character at her best because if anything this is her weakest. Red Sonja is a film based on Robert E. Howard character about a woman who is left for dead after her whole family is butchered and she is violated. It is because of this she does not trust men. But when her sister is killed and the talisman is stolen by Queen Gerden who intends to use the talismans power to rule the world. Red Sonja accompanied by two men and a boy must destroy the talisman and defeat Gerden. The film only has two redeeming qualities, the first being is how short it is and the other being all the cool sword fights in it. All the good things about the movie end there. The acting is some of the worst I have ever seen even from Arnold an actor who can be very good. Brigitte Nielson is a beautiful woman and with a better script could maybe make a good Sonja and the kid can be quite annoying but surprisingly didn't bother me that much. The acting still sucked. It didn't work in the actors favor that the dialogue was just the worst. The camera shots from the director are not that good either if anything most of it is standard but then there's one scene where Sonja and Kalidor are sitting by a tree and I felt that the camera was shaking a little. Red Sonja is a film that comes together as a poor attempt to give a great female sword and sorcery character her own series, I could enjoy this as a guilty pleasure movie but there were too many problems for me to ignore, it's not as bad as I was expecting and is leap and bounds better than Supergirl which is another female lead movie that tried to capitalize on her male counterpart but that's not much, I'm giving Red Sonja a 4 out of 10.

The third film in the Conan trilogy...well it pretty much was wasn't it. This film is directed by Richard Fleischer who also directed 'Conan the Destroyer', the same studio, Dino De Laurentiis Company, made all three films, Sandahl Bergman was in this film and 'Conan the Barbarian' and of course Arnie starred in all three.I mean lets be honest here, Arnie plays Lord Kalidor, the character is virtually a Conan clone, I dunno why they didn't just make him Conan and be done with it. I believe Sonja comes from the Conan universe originally (I may be wrong) so why not? I'm guessing there may have been copyright issues somewhere.So its the same story again for this fantasy adventure, need I describe the plot? A small band of goodies up against an evil baddie leader and all her baddie warriors who are all holed up in an intimidating fortress. Arnie rides around in his rather unattractive red sparkly jumpsuit (changes to a black number out of the blue half way through) whilst Nielsen sports a long red mullet cut, but she's still cute.This is suppose to be the weakest of the Arnie broadsword adventures but personally I don't see it. Its no worse than the other two and gives you just as much visual sorcery. In fact there's more fantasy stuff going on here than 'CtB', giant pet spiders, giant skeleton bridges, a metallic sea monster thingy and a silly Flash Gordon style baddie wizard. This film boarders more on other films such as 'Krull' and a bit of 'Willow' in my opinion.Reasonable amounts of blood and limb chopping but not overkill. Everything looks a bit tacky later on in the film but again no worse than the other two films. Unfortunately there is an annoying kid in this film, kinda like Data from 'The Goonies' or Short Round from 'Temple of Doom' (same kid actor there), tends to give the film a more slapstick approach at times, 'Conan the Barbarian' was always the most grown up of the three.At this point I reckon Arnie was possibly getting worried he may end up typecast as a barbarian meathead in fantasy films. I can see why this was his last as all three of these films are very similar and not overly wonderful frankly. Still the musical score was always in good hands with Morricone at the helm, how did they manage that? As a kid I loved these films, nowadays the rose tinted shades can't quite save them, amusing and naff, oh and the baddie Queen is a lesbian. Oh yeah, the whole story is down to Sonja simply rejecting her advances at the start, fancy that.5/10

This is a important "culte" film for my very personnal universe, but...what can we say? "red Sonja" looks like a Conan 3. Indeed it is done just after the second episode is an adventure independent, Kalidor looks like Conan but it will eventually Red Sonja (the original title). It remains in the spirit of Conan the Destroyer also directed by Richard Fleischer, a simple action film in the barbarian fantasy universe. Despite the promising features such as the introduction superbly served by the theme music of Ennio Morricone, the film is still disappointing, in the tradition of Conan the Destroyer elsewhere.Red Sonja warrior wants to avenge the theft of an artifact to excessive and destructive powers and the death of her sister. Kalidor who have just enough time to bring Varna (Sonja'sister) to Sonja, will travel with Sonja to have this revenge. By the way they will encounter a couple slightly loufouque a young prince insolent child and his faithful servant, who go to avenge the destruction of their city kingdom. This group of four raiders will travel to the palace of Queen Gedren to avenge her.The plot is fast. We quickly found the palace And very quickly to meet the wicked queen and the four raiders. A very fast action and fighting clumsy especially in the interpretation of stunt or figuration with a great reinforcement of the decor that smell strong cardboard a inanimate sea monster and the atmosphere of the film resembles a large series B to moderate budget.This movie is disappointing despite the talents involved. But all fans of barbaric fantastic and simple fantasy films must watch it because this universe is too rare in a movie.jelios [email protected]