Honestly, I can appreciate movies that are bad but still funny to watch, but this movie is honestly so bad that no amount of weed can make it fun. Every single aspect of this film is terrible. The story is hard to understand at all. The picture quality is again terrible. There are characters that are played by actors who look identical to each other, adding to the confusion even more. Seriously, I'm trying to do people a favour here by advising to avoid this utter rubbish. I bought it at cash converters for about one pound and I felt ripped off. It really is terrible. The only one thing I can think of about this film is that anyone with an interest in making music may wish to sample some of the lines, but Hextatic may have beaten you to that already.

An unbelievably daft effort from Godfrey Ho, the king of crap ninja movies, Ninja Terminator sees Ho's regular star Richard Harrison once again donning his natty camouflage suit to fight a variety of similarly garbed bad guys, all the while performing totally unnecessary cartwheels and back-flips.This time, Harrison plays Harry, one of a trio of good ninjas who steal a precious, magical golden statue from their evil boss. When one of the trio is killed and part of the statue is taken back, Harry enlists the help of his friend Jaguar Wong (who is a cool-as-ice, high-kicking bad-ass) to protect his dead friend's sister and try and retrieve the missing piece.Despite the story making little or no sense for most of the running time (which is what you get when you splice together footage from two different films, as is apparently the case here), Ninja Terminator is still well worth watching thanks to countless completely insane moments guaranteed to make you howl with laughter: watch in awe as Harry proves that no melon is a match for his ninja sword skills; be puzzled as a breakfast of live crabs suddenly turns nasty; wonder why the hell Hwang Jang Lee is wearing a bad blonde wig for most of the film; giggle uncontrollably as a toy robot menacingly delivers video tapes; and then check ebay to see if you too can get a cool Garfield phone like the one Harry uses.Amongst all this unexplainable, but very entertaining silliness, there are also plenty of pretty good martial arts fights (Jack Lam, as Jaguar Wong, is excellent and displays loads of decent moves before his inevitable battle against super-kicker Lee). Throw in a couple of gratuitous sex scenes, and some awful dialogue, and what you have is one hell of a fun film.

From the steamed crabs to explosive squash balls, diabolical dialogue to extraordinary wigs, death threat delivering toys to the most unsexy sex scenes ever, this has to be the very best cut and splice shitshower ever to grace the home video market. Bizarrely the soundtrack is genuinely good, as are some of the fight scenes.Take the following conversation between Jaguar Wong (yes, that's his name; the main baddie's called Tiger Chang) and Hapless Henchman 1, bearing in mind that the characters don't actually know each other - "Can I dying man have a last request? A cigarette?" "Well I doubt you'll contract lung cancer before I kill you, hahahahaha!" "I appreciate your concern for my wellbeing. Oh, and have one yourself... I'd hate for you to remember me as a mean son of a bitch." "Hmmm, I don't usually smoke this brand... but I'll do it for you." Watch this film.

Ninja Terminator is quite simply the most amazing film I have ever seen, the mind truly boggles at it's unsurpassed magnificence.If you are expecting big budget production qualities or remotely recognizable actors then think again because this film has nothing of the sort. Essentially this movie is pure rubbish, but that is its charm. The total lack of cohesion between the plots of the two films that have been obviously hashed together will provide the viewer with undoubtedly the most hilarious experience of their lives. Fundamentally it's two movies for the price of one, the tale of Jaguar Wong, who has to defeat some evil syndicate boss who for some totally baffling reason sports a terrible joke shop wig, and "Harry the Ninga"(sic) who must defeat "Darren the Ninja" and some other guy to get hold of some miscellaneous golden object, which according to the blurb on the box will gain him "the super strength of the ninja sorcery". It must be seen to be believed, total lack of budget, total lack of talent, atrocious dubbing and editing and the most hilarious script you'll have ever heard.Once I finished watching this film I literally ached all over from laughing so hard, I nearly gave myself a hernia, there is no way that any movie could possibly even come to close being as side splitting hilarious as this epic catastrophe in cinematography.After watching Ninja Terminator you and those who have the pleasure of watching it with you will be united through the pure, unintentional comic genius of this film. Buy Ninja Terminator, it will change your life.