First some of you may be wondering why I'm rating the movie so high, well I happen to love grindhouse, splatter, and slasher films. This movie doesn't disappoint with it's ridiculous deaths, intentionally bad cgi, bad ass sexy girls, although there is almost no nudity in the film which seems like a strange choice. I got to see Lindsey Lohan's boobs in the first one I thought they would upstage their game a bit. The whole budget seems like it went to the high class actors, Mel Gibson sure as hell cannot come cheap.It's certainly more crazier than the first movie, if you're a fan of grindhouse films you owe it yourself to at least watch the movie.

Very few people can pull off making a deliberately-bad movie. It usually results in a ho-hum mess like a Killer Tomatoes sequel, or an insult like Two Idiots go to Hollywood. Robert Rodriguez is the rare exception. His half of the Grindhouse double-feature, Planet terror, was a delightful hodgepodge of hammy direction and acting, cheap special effects, over-the-top crazy violence, and grunged-up distressing to make the movie look like it's been played for years in third-run moviehouses with sticky floors and moist, smelly seats.Machete was a spinoff based on a fake commercial that, with hollywood's greatest septuagenarian badass Danny Trejo was just too good - and bad - not to follow through with a real movie.And the spinoff's sequel, Machete Kills, is even more batsh*t-bonkers crazy!Hilarious, campy, and riddled with cameos, you can just tell that everyone had a great time making this movie.I'm looking forward to the (hopefull for real) Machete Kills In Space.

Machete Kills starts with a trailer for the sequel to Machete Kills. It's pretty funny. It's all downhill from there.Machete Kills is a parody of bad action movies, I suppose, but it reads more like it's just a bad action movie. The dialogue is awful; not funny awful, just really bad. The action sequences are over the top yet not that much fun. If not for that opening trailer, I'm not sure I'd even realize this was supposed to be a parody.After watching maybe 20 minutes I got bored and read some of the IMDb reviews. Some were so enthusiastic about the action sequences that I moved forward and watched one where the movie repeats the same gag within two minutes. I was underwhelmed.Not the movie for me.

If you've ever seen the first Machete or the Grindhouse double feature then you know what Robert Rodriguez's intentions were. Machete is supposed to be bad, that Grindhouse exploration bad that is so over the top bad it becomes good. And on that level I find the first movie to be a success, the flaws in the film somehow make it all the better. The sequel however, is an utter failure, the flaws in the film make it unbearable to watch.The film opens with a trailer for a sequel to the movie your about to watch, which spoils the movie for you. And the movie really just seems like a way to set up Machete kills again. The pop culture gags are just embarrassing and cringe inducing, yeah it's funny that the president is sleeping with 3 women, cause it's Charlie sheen. The changeling character is beyond asinine and rather than give Cuba Gooding Jr or antonio banderas adequate screen time, we get to watch lady Gaga. We get to see a cringe inducing Sofia vergaras as a really stupid hooker who thinks she's a threat because she has boob and dick guns. (The same dick gun we saw 20 years ago in from dusk til dawn).All in all Machete kills is a complete waste of time and completely and utterly fails to carry on the spirit of the first Machete or its grindhouse roots. Rodriguez went for intentionally bad and ended up with unintentionally awful. And for some reason he is going ahead with Machete 3 despite nobody even wanting it, I for sure will be skipping that one and will never rewatch this really awful awful film.