The first question you'll find yourself asking before watching 'Machete' is how they got such an A-list cast for a movie as bizarre sounding as this. You'll probably still be asking the question after the film is finished to be fair, but you'll also understand that the film is made with a lot more quality than what you might otherwise have imagined. The most incredible thing about this movie though is that with the incredible cast they got onboard, the main character is a man who barely speaks. This truly is a unique films in more ways than you can imagine.The best way to describe the film is just downright fun. I love that anything can and will happen at any point. You never know what's in store from scene to scene. No character is safe. The violence is extreme and plentiful. While they did well to get the star power of Jessica Alba signed on, this film is a reminder that she is in the industry for her looks and not her acting skills. She gives a very clunky performance, but damn she looked good doing it. Michelle Rodriguez falls into the same category.'Machete' is a film that is very hard to do justice for when simply telling people about it. It needs to be experienced to be understood. And I certainly would recommend seeing it if you haven't already because in this day and age where originality is seriously lacking a unique film of any sort is worth its weight in gold.

Literally the worst movie (if not by quality than the most irritating) I've ever seen. Cheap thrills, sexuality and violence are exaggerated without story or motif backup. I'm aware that this is the grindhouse movie, but it's totally pointless.

When I saw it was that hair-dyed Karate guy - Segal - in this movie I almost turned the channel, but I'm so glad I did not.This movie is outrageously over the top. It's so bad that it's good. Better than good. The violence is cartoon-like in it's excess, and always done with a tongue in the cheek. No can of fake blood was spared in the making of this film, and the slayings were so thick and fast, so creative, that I expected Wile E Coyote to appear at any moment.Even the clichés were well handled, and the intentional humour content very well done. Especially the dark humour.This isn't Shakespeare. Nor Tarantino. But it's a lot of fun for when you get back from the pub after hours, half cut, and settle down in front of the fire with your Biryani.....Or Should that be Burrito....Whatever. I'll be looking for more in this series.

I'm really not sure where to begin. Let's just skip the the normal plot summary. Suffice it to say that Machete looks for revenge on those who killed his family and, then, set him up. But the plot hardly matters. Machete has got so much going on, so much coolness, so much violence, so much action . . . I'm not sure I can do it justice. I can't, so I'll just mention a few things that I really like.First, the cast. When I read the list of actors in Machete to my wife, she thought I was on drugs. In addition to Danny Trejo, there's Jessica Alba, Don Johnson, Robert De Niro (yeah, freakin' Robert De Niro), Cheech Marin, Michelle Rodriguez (mmmmm), Lindsay Lohan, Steven Segal, and more. And one of the cool things, they all look like they're having fun.Second, action. Other than one or two places in he script, Machete never slows down. Most of it is like riding a roller coaster. Fights, chases, explosions, heads rolling, blood . . . it's got it all. A couple of my favorite moments include Machete riding that motorcycle with guns blazing and Machete swinging from one floor of a building to the next using some guy's intestines. Good stuff!Third, Robert Rodriguez. While I've always enjoyed his work, it's only recently that I've realized how much. From Desperado to Spy Kids to Machete, his films have a look and style that appeals to me. I'm really looking forward to see where his career leads. I'm not stupid and I realize that Machete is not a movie that will work with everyone (my wife thought it was ridiculous). I understand its critics and their issues. Machete is one of those movies that really shows how I rate movies. For me, ratings are all about entertainment. And Machete entertained me like few recent movies have. A 9/10 from me.