Forlorn young Mina (an endearingly loopy turn by the ever-adorable Misty Mundae) is stuck in an unhappy marriage with stolid and controlling pharmaceutical tycoon Jonathan Harker (a fine portrayal by the lovely Julian Wells). Mina encounters Dracula (exquisitely embodied by the gorgeous Darian Caine) when she longs most for a child and falls under Dracula's wickedly alluring spell. Writer/director Tony Marsiglia brings a peculiarly arresting dreamy'n'heady style to the offbeat premise and does an expert job of carefully crafting a deliriously erotic atmosphere. Of course, we also get oodles of tasty bare female skin and loads of smoking hot girl-on-girl action, with a steamy and tender poolside love scene between Mina and Dracula rating as the definite sensuous and arousing highlight. Moreover, Marsiglia's "try it, do it" experimental avant-garde approach gives this movie a truly inspired sense of all-out pervasive weirdness: Caine and Wells both play their characters as men (Wells even does a from behind sex scene with Mundae!), Mundae's wacky little bat bat monologue is simply jaw-dropping, and towards the end there's without a doubt one of the freakiest attempted rapes to ever grace celluloid. The cast of yummy babes keeps things sultry and watchable throughout: Besides the mighty troika of Mundae, Wells, and Caine (and how can one really go wrong with these three?), there's the foxy Shelly Jones as the lusty and willful Abigal Van Helsing, the delicious Andrea Davis as the predatory bloodsucker Sarah, and cute Casey Jones as enticing and vulnerable teenager Beth. Dang Lenawae's sumptuous cinematography gives the picture a stunningly opulent look. Don Mike's moody score alternates between wonky ambient noise and smooth jazz. An intriguing oddity.

This is my third film from Seduction Cinema (the other two, coincidentally also directed by Tony Marsiglia), and it's by far the worst. For some reason, the director has attempted to mix mysterious Gothic horror with soft-core lesbian action and the result is truly ridiculous. A lot of the film doesn't make sense, and what does make sense is often hard to decipher because it's all damn boring! If it wasn't for the fact that the film stars the oddly compelling Misty Mundae, I doubt I ever would have seen...it is, therefore, unfortunate that she stars in it. The plot line isn't important; but it has something to do with a bunch of lesbian vampires, one of which is called Countess Dracula. There are some nods to Bram Stoker's classic tale - including character names and a few lines of dialogue, but none of it is clever and it's clear that this is just a lame excuse to film some porn. I'm sure Bram Stoker wouldn't have approved! Aside from Mundae, the film stars some other Seduction Cinema 'luminaries' such as Julian Wells, Andrea Davis and Darian Caine, who is definitely the worst 'Dracula' ever...but on the plus side, she is pretty damn hot! Overall, I really can't recommend this film. There are better vampire films out there, better lesbian porn films out there; and better vampire-lesbian porn films out there. Don't bother!

Plotwise, on the other hand, I will have to get back to you on that as soon as I figure it out for myself. I finally got around to watching this, and while I wasn't disappointed, I was left with one of those "What in the hell did I just sit through?" feelings. At first, when Misty Mundae rambles on to some baby crib about being trapped and alone, I thought she was just REALLY bad at acting her role, but then it's revealed that her character is just fruit-loopin' crazy. Darian Caine and Julian Wells play men (?!), although they have fairly large breasts and perfectly shaved "southern regions". Julian Wells even goes as far as to bang Misty from behind....interesting. The plot, like I said, is too choppy and confusing. But Tony Marsiglia is by far the best director Seduction Cinema has got working for them. His films are really twisted and very darkly erotic. The award for the best actress in this film is actually a tie between Andrea Davis (who is great at portraying b*tch characters) and Casey Jones (who physically fits the part of teenage goth-popper turned emotionally drained vampire to a tee). The sex scenes in the unrated version go on forever and a day, even more so than a lot of Seduction films. So if you're not used to the lesbian sex quota that must be met in every single one of their films, you're much better off with the R-rated version (not a drop of blood is cut out, its all sex). This is a welcome addition to my E.I./Alternative Cinema collection, and I am waiting patiently for Tony Marsiglia's new film, "Chantal", which looks to be pretty darn good as well.

OH Gawd! The WORST! Lame everything...so boring and brainless it reminded me of how easy it might be to give an adolescent filmmaker an 8mm camera and a 500 dollar budget. I rented this one because I liked the box cover...MISTAKE? Perhaps... Every expectation I had for a watchable horror flick was not met, it was murdered in cold blood. It seemed as if the script, if you want to call it that, was ad-libbed and the acting was so forced, it was like watching a high school production of 'The Music Man' (only with lesbians on Xanax). I see the director has made other things. For his sake, he'd better keep hiring the same "box designer" and make his name in the credits really, really small.I firmly believe that this might be the worst movie I have ever seen.