Asked to look into her brother's disappearance, a private eye tracks him to a secret whorehouse hidden underneath a funeral home which houses a vampire coven run by a vicious vampire queen and together they team up to stop them from taking over the town.There's quite a lot to really like with this one. One of the film's better points here is the rather light-hearted and silly tone present here which gives this one quite the fun and enjoyable setup. It's a lot of fun to watch as a goofy, entertaining effort featuring the idea of the funeral home working in conjunction with the sanctity of the church, which isn't that original but it still works here in giving this one the kind of ironic and goofy set-up required for one of these efforts. Going alongside this is the manner of this one featuring the outside relics that are featured here, from the ancient talisman that controls her to the use of the protective applications to allow them to walk around in the daylight without injury and the manner of how they go ahead recruiting victims to their hideout which all makes the storyline incredibly fun and adds some nice sleaze to the proceedings. From the concept of the bordello offering plenty of fun here with the topless workers parading around for the unwary victims, the several attempts to engage in tortuous sexual acts using the different devices to hold them in order to feed and the numerous scenes involving them around the strippers or topless clientele gives this one quite a strong sleaze quotient which has a lot to like overall. That also likes the fact that the fun vampire antics here are rather fun, with the initial attacks on the patrons inside the brothel, the initial scene of the detective working through the investigation which gives this a solid and workable middle half that keeps this moving as well as some enjoyable vampire action in the finale as there's the fun of the massacre of the club workers, the different brawls in their underground hideouts and the final assault at the TV station has a lot of great moments with the vampire in control and the main resolution to stop them. Alongside the nice comedy and rather fun gore, there's a lot to like here to hold it up over the minor flaws featured. The main issue to be found here is the fact that there are way too many scenes that go on way too long to really let the jokes fizzle out before they have a chance to land. The opening in the tomb is quite overlong and lets the joke of his stature compared to the men go on way too long before she finally awakes, and the continuous jokes about the girl being in the stripclubs in the area makes for a one-note joke that takes up a whole scene of her interviewing the vampire and it just leaves this with overlong scenes that hold up the running time somewhat. Likewise, the amount of goofy cheese featured here might be too much for some to take because of this, and they really are what holds it back.Rated R: Nudity, Graphic Violence, Extreme Graphic Language, fetish sexual acts and mild drug use.

Tales From The Crypt :Bordella of Blood(1996) Starring:John Kassir, Dennis Miller, Erika Eleniak, Angie Everhart, Chris Sarandon, Corey Feldman, Aubrey Morris, Phil Fondacaro, and William Sadler Directed By:Gilbert Adler Review Hello kiddies your pal the crypt-critic here let me tell about a film so disappointing it had barely any blood to show for. The film is about a detective named Rafe who is on the search for the brother of a woman named Kathryn. During his investigation he makes the discovery that the woman in charge of all the missing men are seductress vampires. He must stop these vampires from spreading their business and eating the entire town. The movies not so fun premise is not the kind of lusting vampire film that I would want to sink my teeth into, it just feels like their could have been more or something. But there is one amazing sequence at the end that I'm going to go into detail but let's just say it has something to do with water guns. This was the second Tales from the crypt movie that was ever released, the first being demon night which is my favorite so far, but bordello is more for the adult-watching lust having vampire horror viewers out there and it if that's your thing then you can really sink your teeth into this. But if I want vampire-action I'll stick with Fright night(both of them) and Bram Stokers Dracula and the Bela Lugose one. This tale from the crypt is not as impressive as the last one,but it does have it's moments. I'm giving Bordello of Blood a two and a half out of five.

Corey Feldman is still depressed about not being in a film with Corey Haim for a while, so decides to go to a house of pleasure with some friends to relieve all the anxieties.Turns out its a cut price version of the bar from Dusk Til Dawn, minus Gringos and Salma Hayek.After a few days, his sister, Virginal Erika Eleniak (great casting), hires Dennis Miller (not famous in the UK) and decides to find out what happened and what is going on.Turns out Jerry Dandridge is now a priest and wants to get rid of all ill willers, but Lilith has other plans, but her heart needs to be cut in four, and it gets quite confusing.But to be fair, it's a pretty short film, and it's all good fun while it lasts. The cast, apart from Sarandon, are all pretty dire, even Feldman, and Miller, whoever he is just spouts out one liners every now and again, but I have this feeling he's a pretty big thing in the States, just like Alan Carr is here (exactley).If you like films that are easy on the eye, choc full of things for the lads, and never bothering the grey matter, you could do a lot worse than this.Otherwise, don't bother.

"Bordello of Blood" does offer some undemanding B movie entertainment, even if it's never quite as much fun as one might like it to be. At least it never pretends to take itself very seriously, and star Dennis Miller, playing wise ass, low rent private eye Rafe Guttman, apparently concocted much of his sardonic dialogue himself. Rafe is hired by uptight Katherine Verdoux (Erika Eleniak) to locate her indolent brother Caleb (a well cast Corey Feldman), and tracks him to the mortuary, doubling as a bordello, where Caleb is last seen, tangling with evil boss vampire Lilith (Angie Everhart) and teaming up with slick televangelist J.C. Current (Chris Sarandon). While it's not really all that funny, the attempt by Miller and company to give their material that tongue in cheek flavour is still appreciated. Things get off to a fine start with The Crypt Keeper joined by a mummy, played by the ever dependable William Sadler, the hero of the first 'Tales from the Crypt' movie, "Demon Knight". The actors are all quite entertaining to watch. The casting of Sarandon is a decent in-joke seeing that he was the charming vampire-next-door in "Fright Night" and is one of the vampire slayers here. Feldman fans may be disappointed that he's only around for the first and final thirds, but he IS a hoot and makes the most of his brief screen time. Sexy Everheart clearly is relishing the role of the blood sucking babe; she, Eleniak, Kiara Hunter, Leslie Ann Phillips, and Juliet Reagh provide delectable eye candy. Supporting performances by Aubrey Morris (as McCutcheon) and Phil Fondacaro (as Vincent) are quite amusing. The gore effects are very entertaining and the soundtrack features some solid vintage and then-current rock tunes. Gilbert Adler, one of the producers of the TV series, made his feature film directing debut here, and does a decent job. Overall, the movie is a perfectly acceptable combination of sex, gore, and humour, and the pacing stays pretty consistent throughout. It's not as good as "Demon Knight", but it's not bad either. Be sure to watch out for the uncredited cameo appearance by Oscar winning actress Whoopi Goldberg. Seven out of 10.