If you've read this far, you have a general idea of what you're in for if you watch this flick. I'll just add this to the mix:(possible spoilers below, but nothing huge) 1) Connery approaches the role as if he's wearing an "I'd Rather Be Watching The Weather Channel" tee shirt. There's not a lot of passion here, and those of us in the audience understand why.2)He gets his powers from lying in bed under a bulb or something. It's like being able to fly after going to the tanning salon a few times.3)The special effects team needed to borrow a few ideas from Lee Majors' "Six Million Dollar Man," where slow motion with strobe effects equaled super speed. Connery's jerky, sped-up motion makes it seem as if "Yackety Sax" from the old Benny Hill show should be playing in the background.4)The idea of getting your super suit from a sporting goods store has been the cause of a lot of snark here, but it immediately put me in mind of the Guardian, a 1940's hero created by Jack Kirby and Joe Simon who did much the same thing. It's an idea that could have worked if it had been scripted better, acted better, and if the suit on the actor had looked better. The audience will buy into a lot if it actually works.5)A speedster covering his face because his little jaunts give him an awesome case of windburn? That's a cool little idea that makes sense, one that I'd never thought of before.6)As everyone says, Python's makeup stole the show. Violent dude, though. If he likes Lucky Charms and you're a Cap'n Crunch fan, you could wind up with a bullet in your head. Just sayin'. He's that kind of guy.

Sean Connery's son Jason has an even worse track record for picking good movies. He stars as the eponymous protagonist in "Today You Die" director Don E. FauntLeRoy's execrable superhero saga "Stan Lee's Lightspeed" with Lee Majors and Nicole Eggert. Stan Lee must have collected a good paycheck for the Sci-Fi Channel to plaster his name all over this tedious tripe about a super hero who resembles the D.C. Comic's hero "The Flash" as well as Marvel Comic's "Quicksilver." This shoddy, shoe-string budget, made-for-cable actioneer is short on thrills and chills, and scenarist John Gray's screenplay regurgitates the same dull dialogue that you've heard ten-thousand times. Indeed, the cast could have done this lame, larger-than-life epic without rehearsing because they've used the same dialogue in so many films. Apparently, lenser/helmer Don E. FauntLeRoy took a break from directing Steven Seagal thrillers so that he could pick up a quick paycheck. He made this predictable potboiler between "Mercenary for Justice" and "Urban Justice." Jason Connery of "Casablanca Express" stars as the hero, Daniel Leight, a member of an elite government group called "Ghost Squad" headed up by Tanner (Lee Majors of "The Six-Million Dollar Man") that hunts down terrorists. When these heavily-armed guys hit the road, they cruise around in big, black, SUVs. Another member of the team is a pretty little thing named Beth (Nicole Eggert) who keeps her clothes on this time unlike she did in her television series "Baywatch" where she played Summer Quinn. Mind you, poor Nicole is around primarily to serve as a hostage later on for the villain to hold because he hates the hero.Daniel has a close scientist friend, Edward (Daniel Goddard), who has been laboring long and hard in his laboratory to use snake DNA to help regenerate skin for burn victims. A tragic car crash burned his girlfriend from head to toe and looks like the mummy in bandages at the hospital. Typically, as it is with these comic book style scientists, Edward uses himself as a guinea pig in his own experiments. When Daniel learns from Senator Paul Davis (James Jamison) that Congress is going to pull the plug on Edward's research, he pleads to let Davis allow him to break the bad news to Daniel. Daniel is so consumed with his research that he takes the news in the worse way possible and blames everybody when the government suits show up to wrap yellow DO NOT CROSS tape around his building. Edward refuses to take no for an answer. He breaks into his own building, destroys everything and in the process he turns himself into the reptilian Python who wears a hooded cloaked not unlike Dr. Doom from the "Fantastic Four" films. You can tell that the venerable Stan Lee plagiarized himself for his larger-than-life characters here, but they end up looking like caricatures of anything that he created in his prime at Marvel Comics. On the other hand, some Marvel Comics enthusiasts might cite Spider-Man's nemesis, The Lizard, as the model for Edward as Python. The Lizard been scrutinizing the regenerative properties of lizards as a cure for the loss of a limb. Anyway, Daniel turns up in the building at the same time that Edward destroys it and fights the villain who is covered in snake skin and likes to hiss. Meanwhile, the Ghost Squad arrives on the scene and pulls Daniel out of the rubble. Indeed, Daniel appears done for until Dr. Finlay (Michael Flynn of "Con Express") gets his medical mitts on him and replaces his crushed legs with titanium substitutes. Nevertheless, Daniel's chances of survival much less his future with the Ghost Squad looks in dire jeopardy. The fiendish Python tries to finish off our hero at the hospital when he gives him a super dose of radiation. Hmn, sounds like "Hulk?" Miraculously, the radiation doesn't kill Daniel. It helps him recover. As it turns out, Daniel can race around like nobody's business and so he takes the name of Lightspeed. Initially, Dr. Finlay is puzzled by those mysterious burns on Daniel's face. He believes that it is the side effects of the radiation. Daniel knows better and the next time he goes to an athletic store and has a stoner make up a suit of existing material that will protect him when he hauls ass around in an effort to save lives and stop the malignant Python from realizing his aims. Ultimately, the Python concocts a plan to blow Washington, D.C. to kingdom come that he calls 'Operation Firesky' as revenge for those dastards that cut his funding. Jason Connery lacks the charisma of his famous father and he brings nothing to the role of "Lightspeed." Moreover, he looks absolutely ridiculous as the hero in a blue suit racing around with bad special effects that provide little help. Daniel Goddard is only marginally better as the hopelessly misguided villain. Lee Majors delivers his lines without bumping into any walls and it takes the surprise finale to realize why he plays everything so straight. Nicole Eggert adds nothing to his farce. Save yourself 88 minutes of shame and pain and skip "Lightspeed." Although he served as one of the producers, Stan Lee must have realized when he saw the final product that a cameo was out of the question.

Stan Lee owes me 90 minutes of my life back. It's a simple story: two men are both changed by experiments and science gone bad. one becomes a snake man and the other develops super speed and a heart problem. Whacky high-jinx ensue. Here are the problems with the movie: 1) Plot is horrible. The writers borrow plot points directly from Spiderman and The Flash. 2) The acting is even worse, but it's not all the actor's fault: dialogue is laughable. Nicole Eggert and Lee Majors are both in this movie, nuff said. 3) The directing is just bad. There are scenes where a person is talking and the shot does not have their mouth in it, just their forehead and nose, then the camera zooms out and re-frames. 4) There is nothing special about those special effects. The main character wears a ski suite as a costume.All and all this movie looks and feels much cheaper and cheesier than a made for TV movie (that's saying a lot). It's pretty much like someone bought a camcorder and filmed it on weekends with their buddies.

...didn't go far enough.But nobody seemed to notice that Lee Majors, at 67, looks about 15 years older throughout, and has nothing to do but grimace and pretend to be in charge of an elite group of government agents called the ghost raiders, or some such silly nonsense.I bought this at my local video store because I have thing for "super hero" movies. The fact that it was on-sale for $9, the same day it was released at $14, should have warned me.Easily the poorest excuse for an action fantasy hero I've ever seen - it made The Fantastic Four look like Spiderman.Dreadful. DO NOT waste your time or money.