Released in 2005 and directed by John Shepphird, "Chupacabra Terror" chronicles events on a cruise ship when a cryptozoologist (Giancarlo Esposito) sneaks a chupacabra on board. It doesn't take long for it to be unleashed from its cage and a squad of commandos comes aboard. John Rhys-Davies plays the Captain and Chelan Simmons his tae-bo instructor daughter. Dylan Neal appears as a marshal while David Millbern is on hand as a venal charmer who milks the rich (Paula Shaw).The monster is a guy in a suit rather than CGI and it looks effectively terrifying, albeit too tall for a creature that's supposedly the size of a small bear. Freckled-blond Chelan is cute as ever, but not enough is done with her. The film generally fumbles the ball on the female front. The ship sets are fine, and the movie may even have been shot on an actual vessel, but the long shots of the ship are cartoony CGI, and it's too obvious. There's a lot of action as the crew & militarists try to take down the chupacabra, but the creature is SO invulnerable it's unbelievable. In its favor, the tone is austere and the likable cast takes the material seriously. There's quite a bit of gore.I can handle any of the negatives cited above, except for prosaic writing. And that's the problem with this movie: A by-the-numbers script with no meat on the bones. The flick's thoroughly banal and it kills it. Kids might like it though. The movie runs 88 minutes and was shot in Turks and Caicos Islands. The script was written by Steve Jankowski & the director. GRADE: C-

I was expecting nothing from Chupacabra Terror as the idea was bad to begin with, but stuck with it as I admire John Rhys Davies. Once again he is one of few redeeming qualities(in this case the only one) of a movie, looking charismatic and the only actor to actually look dignified and not embarrassed(which considering the badness of the film that is a credit). Sadly for him, everything else is awful, with the rest of the acting pretty much non-existent with lines said in a flat fashion and nobody really being genuinely scared or affected by what's happening to them. Chupacabra Terror is further undermined by a very clunkily written script that is with cheesy one-liners and lazy attempts at exposition, stereotypical characters that you learn next to nothing about and don't feel anything before and a dull, predictable story that also has an anti-climatic ending, scares that barely make you flinch and scenes that are nowhere near suspenseful or terrifying enough. All in all, John Rhys Davies at least has some dignity, that's more than this rubbish deserves in all honesty. 2/10 Bethany Cox

Apparently in early 2005, SciFi Channel threatened to release the incriminating photos they have of John Rhys-Davies and said, "We need you to star in another SciFi Original." The scary thing is, he's actually pretty damn good in this movie. That's really saying something since this is a silly SciFi creature feature; you've gotta put some feeling into it in order to be well-acted. Unfortunately, nobody else does. It's your stereotypical "moster-run-amok" movie on a cruise ship. The cryptozoologist wants to keep the creature alive, the Navy SEALs think they have everything under control but they don't know what they're dealing with and they all end up dead, a girl jumps into the "movie sexpot" role as Rhys-Davies' daughter and the creature mauls about 100 or so shipmates. What this movie has going for it is, it's VERY fast-paced and lively; you're never bored or waiting for another kill. Other than that, though, it does nothing to distinguish itself, and it's silly that this thing crawls all over the ceilings and can't be wounded by Navy SEAL machine guns, but can be karate-kicked into submission by Rhys-Davies' daughter. Kinda went back and forth on giving this bad boy a 5, but for the above silliness I'm giving it a 4.

Outlandishly zany utilization of the Chupacabras legend as a rampaging beast aboard a cruise ship. Movies with ghosts, monsters, etc. stowing away on cruise ships and looking for victims to rip to pieces have been popping up lately, perhaps due to the enclosed, claustrophobic environment that it provides for the beast-vs.-humans carnage.The legend of Chupacabras has it/them about the size of a garden gnome, yet the creature in this movie is man-sized. Some loony scientist wants to capture it for some reason. Study it for scientific value? Display it publicly as a carnival freak for quick money a la King Kong? Not certain, I was too busy laughing at how ludicrous the story was. Anyway, he does succeed in capturing it, and smuggles it aboard a cruise ship. Of course: mad scientists always smuggle vicious, bloodthirsty monsters aboard cruise ships, don't they?Bodies start piling up immediately. Meanwhile, we're introduced to about eight or so major characters, all having dinner at the Captain's table. Speaking of meals, it takes about two seconds to figure out who in this group will wind up as Chupacabra's breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner, dessert, and so on.The movie is action packed; I'll give it that, and it ends up being entertaining, in spite of the goofiness. There are some plot and character contrivances, usually to set up the next victim's encounter with the creature. Plenty of battles with the creature ensue; some with gory scenes, and others are downright ridiculous. It seems like the characters throw everything but the kitchen sink at this thing to kill it, and come up with some remarkably creative ideas. The story is paced surprisingly well, and the actors really take the whole thing seriously, or try to.The kung fu scene has to be seen to be believed, and is worth the price of admission, all by itself. Riotously fun, and good for a cheap laugh.