This remake was OK, with a cast of kiddies who weren't raised right, and rubbed out their parents and anyone else over the age of 19. The violence was fairly mild compared to recent horror, with a few stabbings and slicings (if watching a child bleed out through a neck wound is too much for you, avoid this flick.). I watched the uncensored version not shown on TV, which had a scene of a young couple disrobing and having sex in the church while all the other youngsters watched and cheered them on. Mildly disturbing but not the scene I referred to in my title.What bothered me the most was watching the children destroy a cool 1966 Thunderbird. Being a car nut, it brought tears to my eyes. I may never recover.

The second (small) screen version of Stephen Kings' short story stars David Anders and Kandyse McClure as the couple Burt and Vicky Stanton. Burt & Vicky, whose relationship has turned utterly venomous, are travelling cross country. On their way through Nebraska, they run down a child in the road - only for Burt to realize that the kid was basically dead before they hit him; his throat was slashed. Making it to the nearby tiny town of Gatlin, they are soon confronting the towns' children, who have turned murderous and now pray to a different sort of God named "He Who Walks Behind the Rows".This version is scripted by King himself and director Donald P. Borchers, who'd produced the 1984 feature film. Unlike the original, "Children of the Corn" '09 is scrupulously faithful to the story. (Not that being faithful is always necessarily a good thing.) Burt and Vicky are NOT getting along to begin with, so their current situation only makes things worse. Problem with this is that you'll probably find it hard to care about this idiot couple. He comes off slightly better, but only because he's more low key and isn't nearly as insufferable as she is. He's still a stubborn dummy, of course, and their inability to get the Hell out of Dodge before the excrement hits the fan merely serves to seal their fate.One new wrinkle this time is to make Burt & Vicky an inter-racial couple, not that it actually adds anything to the story. That element is just sort of there. The King / Borchers teleplay also goes awfully heavy on the 'Nam parallels, making Burt a veteran who ends up flashing back to his time in the service. There's also some good old fashioned sex to spice things up a little.The original film may have been laughable, and ultimately cheesy, but at least it had more personality, and was more entertaining, than this. It's not good when you can't bring yourself to root for the protagonists. Anders and McClure do whatever they're capable of with these roles, but they're easily outshone by Daniel Newman, as Malachai, and Preston Bailey, as the intense boy preacher Issac. Still, these two kids aren't going to stick in your memory the way that Courtney Gains and John Franklin do.One worthy component is the music by Jonathan Elias (who scored the '84 film) and Nathaniel Morgan. Robert Kurtzman supplies the decent enough gore.This viewer didn't hate this adaptation nearly as much as some people, but will concede that the '84 film shows people a generally better time, despite its utterly goofy, upbeat ending.If you stick it out to the bitter end, there IS a final scene following the end credits.Six out of 10.

I'm not entirely sure whether this thing is supposed to be a remake of the 1984 film or simply just another adaptation of the same short story by Stephen King. Quite frankly, I don't really care, since I never liked the aforementioned original and – do I daresay it – even think Stephen King is a rather overrated horror icon. In spite of all the macabre potential and numerous opportunities (the isolated setting, evil children, etc) it seems impossible to make a half-decent movie out of the COTC-concept. This made-for-TV version is even downright embarrassing, as it brings forth the utmost intolerable lead characters, the most excruciatingly painful dialogs to listen to and the most unimaginably retarded sub plots and story twists. Allegedly this version is more faithful to King's short story, and if that is indeed the case it only means further proof that the original short story was garbage to begin with. Allow me to expand a little on each of the main defaults. The intolerable lead characters: in the right corner, we have the non-stop arguing married "couple" Vicky and Burt. They're not just quarreling, in fact, they truly hate each other! She obviously has an aversion towards men in general and ought to consider becoming a lesbian, and he's too obviously in love with his former Vietnam buddies. Their constant fights and disrespect literally forces the viewer to wish them dead. In the left corner, the weak depiction of the town's main freaks Isaac and Malachai. Two of the few strengths of the 1984 version were the effectively menacing portrayals by John Franklin (as Isaac) and Courtney Gains (as Malachai). In the 2009 version, they're just pitiable brats. The painful dialogs: I definitely concur with one of my fellow reviewers who aptly states: "kids shouldn't be given lines they themselves don't even understand". Too true, Isaac and another little blond kid clearly don't know what they're talking about and it all comes out wrong and artificial. The retarded sub plots and story twists: too many to choose from, actually, but my "favorite" remains Burt's nightly Vietnam-flashbacks in the cornfields! Can you imagine, whilst on the run for a horde of diabolical children and just having lost his wife, this guy suffers from visions of Charlie his buddies bleeding to death in the jungle! How freaking stupid can a movie be? I'm not even going to elaborate on how implausible and impossible the rest of the script is, but you get the idea. In my ultimate attempt to discourage anyone from watching this junk, I'll also add that there aren't any brutal killings, grisly images or shocking content. Figures, it's a dumb TV-movie full of darned kiddies!

This movie is very special. So special actually, I created an account just to review it and hopefully save at least one poor soul from wasting an hour and a half of their lives that they can never...EVER...get back. The movie consists of a married couple who fight and bicker so much that you actually hope they will die. The acting is horrid, so on top of hearing two people fight non-stop, its not even believable. I read that casting was only two weeks prior to production...and it shows. The children aren't scary, creepy, or anything really. They're just kind of silly. The storyline lacks any depth at all, and you find yourself praying for "the good part" but it never comes. I wasn't expecting much from a made for TV SyFy movie, but this movie didn't even live up to my very low expectations. Plain & simple, don't waste your time.