This is one of the worst films I have ever seen. The effects looked like stuff I would find in a high school play. The acting was so bad that it felt like you could literally see them reading the script. Most of all the story was so generic that every fucking fantasy story has done it and that instead of being nothing that we have ever seen, it feels like exactly everything that we have ever seen. Such a waste of an hour and a half or my life.

When evil screams throughout the world. When all the galaxies converge. When all that's fair and fine seems lost. A Hero will emerge.Ed Naha wrote this film and in retrospect had some humorous things to say: "I don't think this movie was so much shot as it was beaten to death. When they whittled it down to what was useful from the footage, it only ran 58 minutes. Now Roger (Corman) had done a lot of sword-and-sorcery films, and so he told a couple of the editors to pull all they could from them and edit that footage in. So now the finished movie has a 15 or 20-minute prologue that has nothing to do with rest of the film!" Some of the added scenes are obvious, and anyone who knows enough of Corman's work will notice the recycled score and other second-hand pieces. But despite the slap-dash effort, it actually comes out to be a pretty fun movie. Plot inconsistencies, yes, and some silliness, but still plenty of fun... and some rather gnarly monsters and bad guys. Whoever built these props and costumes is first-class.

I don't usually review films that I've only seen on MST3K. However, WIZARDS OF THE LOST KINGDOM irritated me so much, I've made an exception.It's impossible to make a wizard-themed movie without a nod to "Lord of the Rings." However, this film does not merely *nod* to Tolkien. It copies him like the class dunce who copies test answers from the smart kid and still gets them wrong. The story revolves around the teen- aged Simon, who must flee when the good King Tyler (yes, King Tyler) is overthrown by the evil Shurka. Schooled in the art of wizardry, Simon must find the Ring of Magic (to rule them all?) and the Sword of Power to defeat Shurka and reclaim the kingdom (which looks to encompass about a city block of real estate). Accompanying Simon on his quest are Kor the Conqueror (an ostensibly great warrior, though nothing he does in the film proves it), Simon's eight-foot-tall pet Gulfax (who looks like a huge white bathroom rug), and the Forest Wizard Hurla (a dwarf who resembles the Travelocity gnome).Everything about this film reeks of incompetence: the writing, the acting, the costumes, the visual effects (no, that dragon's head isn't a hand puppet!), the stunts, the so-called comedy relief, the sets (could those parapets look any more like Styrofoam?), the locations (where did they find such a filthy waterfall?), the directing, the editing….Oh yes, the editing! Many scenes felt clipped, which led me to assume the MST3K gang had done some cutting to fit the show's 90-minute time slot. However, IMDb listed the running time as a mere 72 minutes. So the filmmakers themselves were the culprits, which didn't really surprise me.Bo Svensson was precisely the wrong choice for a swashbuckling action hero. His Kor is noticeably overweight, his hairline is receding, he has more neck hair than a werewolf, his charisma is slightly lower than a 3rd-shift worker's at a mandatory 9:00 a.m. staff meeting, and he swings his sword in a way that made me think of fly-fishing. Vidal Peterson portrays young Simon in such a way that makes Troy McGreggor of THE FINAL SACRIFICE seem like Harry Potter in comparison. Thom Christopher's Shurka is so carpet-munchingly over the top as to make me wonder if the film was an elaborate prank. As for Gulfax, I saw no reason for his being in the film; he literally does nothing the whole time.Amazingly, WIZARDS OF THE LOST KINGDOM spawned a sequel. I'm afraid to watch it, even with the MST3K treatment.

Only the chosen ones will appreciate the quality of the story and character design of this movie. Superior ancients that dwell in the lands of lore far beyond any average human creature's understanding. This movie pulls the adventure genre into a unique centrifugal magical force of fantasy unto thee mystical crystals of chalice. Stories come and go, but the idea for a good story is to think positive, not negative thoughts. To create a good versus evil battle like never before. Embracing an impounding shimmering process that keeps imagination glowing in one dimension and out the other. Striking a quick flash of energy that transports a human to another world.