RELEASED IN 2009 and directed by Nicolas Winding Refn, "Valhalla Rising" takes place in the 11th century where a one-eyed mute thrall (Mads Mikkelsen) obtains his freedom in the Scottish Highlands and joins a band of Viking Christians on a voyage to the Holy Land to fight in the Crusades, but the expedition doesn't go as planned. The movie definitely LOOKS and SOUNDS awesome with an ambient score reminiscent of Agalloch, but without the heavy riffing or manic drumming. It's an artsy non-blockbuster with a tone akin to "Aguirre, The Wrath of God" (1972) and "Black Robe" (1991). "Apocalypto" (2006) is a good modern comparison, although the story isn't as compelling as "Black Robe" or "Apocalypto." It has elements of "Apocalypse Now" (1979) but the thin story just isn't anywhere near as fascinating. Still, it's okay. There are some weak points, like the Viking chief saying "It's a river" when this would've been obvious about an hour earlier when the mist first cleared (aduh). I'm sure the director would chalk it up to artistic license. Another issue is that the film is slow with not enough events to justify its runtime. As such, we get needlessly drawn-out scenes like the discovery of fresh water (which was obvious from the get-go of the sequence). The whole episode could've been done in a third of the time given.THE MOVIE RUNS 1 hour, 33 minutes and was shot in Scotland. WRITERS: Refn, Roy Jacobsen and Matthew Read.GRADE: BINTERPRETATION ***SPOILER ALERT*** (Don't read further unless you've seen the movie).The silent One-Eye is the incarnation of Odin. He is invincible and holds the power to see the future. He disdains the Christian Vikings who've usurped his influence over his people. He tests many in battle to see if they're worthy, but finds none. Nevertheless, he sullenly sees his people off to their new (holy) land, America, where Scandinavians were the third most numerous immigrants. The Boy is a type of Thor, his son, who will sort of replace him in America once the grim god ironically sacrifices himself à la Jesus Christ.

Between the pace and the "noise" its like having a screw slowly turned into your skull. I hope the director will be merciful and never attempt this again.

I spent much of the 90 minutes wondering how long Mads was in makeup every day to get that eye just right. I slept through 20-30 minutes of mist, soI ran it back just to see if I missed anything. Negative. Notta. Nil.Mads does a great job of not speaking & semi-smirking a lot. He has a great face and cutting edge hairdo.I've seen worse. I really have! I think ...The most entertaining moments of this "experience" were the reviews. Peace out.

Valhalla rising is an amazing movie. It's an impressive mix of nonexistent conversation, violence and, most of all, atmosphere. It's a art-house-piece that will not meet everyone's taste. I personally enjoyed the slow-paced piece in front of me, even though its almost complete lack of plot makes the movie hard to follow at times. It's a mixture of great shots, interesting characters and multiple slightly surprising elements.However, with an unclear trailer around and things like Game of Thrones, Vikings and similar filling a similar aesthetic, the expectation may be a way different movie. I can understand that people dislike this movie, but that's mainly because they're not the audience intended for this movie.