Between the pace and the "noise" its like having a screw slowly turned into your skull. I hope the director will be merciful and never attempt this again.

Valhalla rising is an amazing movie. It's an impressive mix of nonexistent conversation, violence and, most of all, atmosphere. It's a art-house-piece that will not meet everyone's taste. I personally enjoyed the slow-paced piece in front of me, even though its almost complete lack of plot makes the movie hard to follow at times. It's a mixture of great shots, interesting characters and multiple slightly surprising elements.However, with an unclear trailer around and things like Game of Thrones, Vikings and similar filling a similar aesthetic, the expectation may be a way different movie. I can understand that people dislike this movie, but that's mainly because they're not the audience intended for this movie.

Sometimes the IMDb limit on words means I can't say everything I want to. In this case, I have to say more than I want to. What I want to say is: "This film is slow, dull, boring, pretentious, and overwhelmingly tedious, albeit with some good cinematography." I don't really want to say any more, but I have to. So I'll add that the music is ugly, shapeless and boring.I usually add a synopsis, so here goes. This film is about some Vikings swanning about. Every now and then one of them gets killed. Heaven knows what they're up to. Making some artistic statement on the human condition, I shouldn't wonder.

Not even the landscape and cinematography could save this one. It was a slow plod through an unlikely story line. The writing team should (figuratively) be taken out and shot.For heaven's sake, a full seven minutes passed before the first lines were uttered. I knew I was in trouble right there.I had to fast forward throughout just get past the boring parts. And those are too many to count. Add that to the lack of historical accuracy. The Norse were skilled seamen and navigators. Suggesting that a crew of them could get lost while sailing south and somehow end up sailing west is historical nonsense.I simply could not find one redeeming quality in Valhalla Rising. Even the title is misleading.Don't waste the time, money or bandwidth on it.