Unlike the list of producers in the opening credits, I'll keep this short. This is another of Seagal's latter day "bad" movies. You know this within the first five minutes. Stock footage ripped from another flick, another body double for Steven in a disjointed, awful fight scene. Today You Die is a rarity in it was filmed in the States and features recognizable faces in the supporting cast. Oh, but this was 2005, and we hadn't relocated to Romania or the Eastern Bloc yet. The storyline is simple enough. A former thief wants to do honest jobs. Okay … but he does so by working for some mysterious man on high who surrounds himself with goon-like subordinates? Have I mentioned the laughable quips about dreams and mysticism that come courtesy of Seagal? Notice how I haven't mentioned any of the supporting cast yet? Yeah for good reason.Of course, this is an action flick, direct to video withstanding, and all would be forgiven if the action was well shot and exciting. Its not. No, the best thing I can say about Today You Die is Steven actually smiles. Its something you don't see very often anymore.

Steven Seagal is a thief who specializes in robbing wealther drug dealers, giving to the poor and unfortunate..heh, Harlan, the Robin Hood. Anyway, Harlan wants to go straight for his girl, Jada(Mari Morrow), so he takes on a job as the driver of an armoured car for a Max Stevens(Kevin Tighe, wasted in an underwritten role). Max intends to have the millions for himself and his unscrupulous associates, with the intent of using his loader, Bruno(Robert Miano)to bring him the money, but Harlan has other plans. Escaping the police, hiding the money, and ditching Bruno(who had a loaded gun pointed at Harlan's head threatening to shoot him if he didn't drive)after evading capture by ramming a huge dump truck, Harlan passes out. Charged with the murder of police among other things as a result of the damage caused by the high-speed chase, Harlan is imprisoned and many wish to know where the money is. Harlan joins forces with an inmate, Ice(Treach), a leader of one of the many gangs in the prison, breaking out with the plans of finding Max and eliminating every member of his corrupt entourage. Soon DEA agent Rachel Knowles(Sarah Buxton) becomes part of this scenario thanks to her boss, Saunders(Nick Mancuso)who claims there's drugs involved. Also injected into the plot is Harlan's desire to save a children's hospital about to close and Jada has mysterious dreams regarding Max.Seagal and Treach cut up with each other speaking in gangsta, while Buxton spends time trying to help Harlan, uncovering the possibility her boss is in cahoots with Max. Mancuso's character is an odd duck, allowing Rachel much leeway despite the threat she is to his career. Tighe shows up for five or so minutes tops, which is a shame. Seagal's Harlan escapes prison and finds each and every rich associate of Max's, inevitably discovering his whereabouts after cracking a few skulls, snapping some wrists, and breaking some bones. Treach speaks in his rapper speech and Seagal tries to answer him in kind, providing some unintentional laughs. As you'd expect, a lot of people get shot and Seagal doesn't break a sweat. It's interesting seeing Seagal in prison, among the convicts, helping Treach out when a group of "Eses" plan to take him out.

I ran across this movie on a local TV channel last night. Frankly, I have never heard about this movie before. Simply, I lost track of Seagual's recent movies, for each one is worst than the previous one. Here, again we have a dull Seagal as if he was insisted by his girlfriend to make this movie and he accepted forcefully. The plot is ridiculous, acting is below zero, and there is no single aspect the movie is not falling apart. I simply don't have any idea why Seagal did this movie. Man, it is even worst than "Out for a kill"! If you watch this movie you will start feeling sorry for Seagal. He seems to be running out of ideas, enthusiasm and money. Avoid this movie and do something worthwhile.

There is too much trash-talk about Mr Steven Seagal on IMDb nowadays. He is being accused of being fat, unfit, slow, etc. His fans are being upset by his latest movies, movies like these. Jackie Chan fans are giving him names, while being triggered by Steven Seagal fans. I am no fan at all and I don't have rotating blades instead of my limbs, so I watched this film with an open mind. And I can say that I enjoyed it. Can I back my "enjoyment factor"? Get this, IMDb fault-finders.No.1 The Steven Seagal character is a whispering jacket-clad easy-going rogue with incredible stamina and a charming smile.No.2 The film is full of surprises.Surprise One Instead of fighting some crazy flipping bad guy (who is simply ridiculous with his unnecessary acrobatic moves before the real brawl) our hero just shoots him with a shotgun. I was 100% sure there would be an aikido fight.Surprise Two When coming to jail and meeting black men who have a usual "criminal ghetto quality" our hero starts talking rap (!) in his signature low voice. Can you name any other action movie with such a linguistic twist? Amazing. Our actors also did a great job, making Mr Steven Seagal sound like "Coolio". I almost fell from my sofa when hearing that black-men-rap jargon - grown-up people talking like 13-years delinquents...Surprise Three The existence of some magical circles, "prophecy" playing cards, intricate Indian ornaments, nightmarish dreams of the female character, and other extravaganza rubbish. I expected it would result in some apocalyptic ending but there is no such thing.Surprise Four The hero's haircut is strange and his choice of clothes is not run-of-the-mill. I have never seen a man of action in such a heavy leather coat. It must be damn heavy.Surprise Five In modern action movies it is almost a must for every director to insert some indecent "sexual" scene. This film is devoid of that stupid tendency. This point alone is a boost on my scale.No.3 The plot of the movie is quite hectic but is not very difficult to follow. The hero finds a job. He becomes a driver working for some old grinning man. Then the hero gets into a bloody mess and very soon is zooming through the streets of the city in a money-van. He crashes, loses consciousness, goes to jail, meets some black hoodlums, fulfils a grand escape, shoots the hell out of a few bad boys, wins a big amount of money, and helps an orphanage. During all this a black woman, who loves him, is loading his ears with her strange talks about her nightmares.Mr Steven Seagal puts some strange type of an action hero on the screen, who doesn't have to jump high, run fast, flip and high-kick. And I think that it is quite all right if he is an aikido master. Isn't it all about inertia and control of the incoming aggression? Then it doesn't matter if he's fat or not. Sumo fighters even must have weight, must they not? And I think a sumo master is yet to come onto the screen and embody a new type of action star.He can follow the flow of the fight, he can make one quick move instead of some freaky quick succession of dynamite hits, he can keep calm in all situations, and he can go to sleep without pulling off his big pyjama jacket. I think it is enough for a unique on-screen hero. He is no Jackie Chan and he should not be. I was very glad to see something different from a usual kung-fu/karate flick with explosive over-the-top fighting or a usual modern CGI "XXX" action.Stop fronting on this film - it is not bad at all. If I should compare, "Matrix: Reloaded" is pure "expansion-remake-of-the-original" manure if compared to this action film, though the IMDb rating suggests the opposite, in my humble opinion of course.I am sure that there's no need to mention the bad sides of this movie, which are popping out now and then. Many people say that he is doubled in his latest movies. If he is doubled in this one, it is the worst side of the film I suppose. I did not notice though. As to the corny acting - I've got no problem with that, while the film is corny itself.It would have been marvellous if Mr Steven Seagal and Mr Jackie Chan had made a movie together, playing two rivals with dozens of wicked henchmen at their disposal. I can even imagine the final showdown as Mr Jackie Chan in his Chinese outfit is doing his best with his whirling moves and helicopter kicks while Steven character in a big pyjama jacket is backing off being as calm as ever and makes brisk counterattacks hurting Jackie character badly while whispering one-liners. With good choreography this would have been of the same calibre as the notorious "Bruce Lee vs. Chuck Norris" fight. Unfortunately this movie is non-existent.Fair job, Mr Steven Seagal, not perfect of course, but pretty fair: 6 out of 10 (the lingual twist alone deserves respect), just do what you can and make more zany action, keep off stupid bed scenes (like in this action flick) and don't be afraid to show yourself even if you are not in a top-notch muscular condition! And don't hit the gym because it is very harmful to one's health. Thanks for attention.