When dancing teenagers can stir a supposedly dead giant tarantula back to life, that gives evidence to the 50's square adult's belief that "Rock and roll has got to go!" Unlike the giant dancing duck in "Village of the Giants", this giant spider does not have rhythm, only an appetite for human body fluids, setting a trap with giant rope like sticky webbing to block the road near the deep and dank cave it lives in. Searching for her father out in the middle of this unexplored area, the rather naive June Kenney and her boyfriend (Eugene Persson) search for him inside the cave, already marked with a warning of "Do not enter!" Falling into the giant web, they are disturbed by the sounds of the approaching spider which seems to be speaking to them in anticipation of his lunch to be. Kenney and Persson manage to escape, but Kenney is frantic when she realizes that she has dropped the birthday present for her that she found near the wreckage of her father's pick-up truck. The discovery of shriveled up bodies with all the liquid sucked out (I guess spiders are only drinkers, not eaters) scares the bageebers out of Kenney, but that doesn't stop her from getting Persson to take her back to the cave after they believe that the spider has been killed and removed from the cave for research on how it got to be that size. Like other movies where they remove the supposed carcass of a giant creature, it is never explained as to how they do it, and even more importantly, the objections of those given that assignment who wouldn't touch a small bug let alone a large one!I guess you have to suspend disbelief that a spider can go into suspended animation when shot full of bullets and tied up in a school gymnasium. The school security guard gets trapped after a bunch of students decide to have an impromptu dance in the gym with the spider hanging in the background, and when his body is discovered, it is a hysterical variation of what a Dali painting might look at if it had once been human. I did find the special effects not bad, having seen much worse before when a giant creature is chasing townspeople, but the whole situation just becomes plain stupid when another teenager arranges for the spider (whom he has discovered trying to devour an entire house) to chase him back to the cave where Kenney and Persson have gone to look for that darn birthday present she dropped. Just then, the local law shows up to close up the cave and unknowingly lock Kenney and Persson inside, with them having gone into other areas of the cave with no way of escape. While Kenney overacts in her attempt to display grief for her spider lunch father, his widow (June Jocelyn) seems to show no grief over her husband's nasty death, only showing any emotion when her daughter is revealed to be trapped inside the cave with the spider. It's a fun bad movie that is easy to dissect for all of its absurdities, but can also be enjoyed on an extreme camp level, whether it be the ludicrous situations, the high school students played by bad 30 something year old actors or the fact that at the end Kenney and Persson are not even given a slap on the wrist for their stupidity.

I like a couple of Bert I. Gordan's films, one of my favorites is Empire of the Ants. This one, which I caught on Mystery Science Theater 3000, just was kind of bland by comparison. Perhaps, it is the fact that in Empire we got a lot more shots of the title character and more than just one appendage as far as what was made or maybe it was the ridiculously overused bracelet plot point that kept this film in the caves more than it did in the streets when the action was at its best. Whatever the reason, just nothing I was overly thrilled with...did make a funny episode of MST3K though. They did another film with scorpions and that one too had lots of cave scenes, but that one was actually pretty good. This one, just too slow for a short film, and too much girl and boyfriend going through a cave and getting lost for my tastes.The story has a father getting offed in the first portion of the film and his daughter gets her boyfriend to help her try and find them. Clues lead to a cave that isn't supposed to be entered, yet they keep rationalizing reasons to enter and proceed further and further in. They even keep going after seeing skeletal remains and then they find themselves falling into a web where a big spider is lurking. They end up escaping somehow, though never clear how as they fell downward and somehow still made it back to the entrance, and warn everyone...including the skeptical sheriff. Though it is nice they did not linger on the skeptical portion of the film for too long. Well, now the town has a problem as the spider is soon on the loose and causing destruction and mayhem...for about five minutes before returning to its lair. Still not quite sure how it managed to get the guy going for help on the motorcycle as it wasn't super fast and he clearly made it away...This made for a very funny episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 as Bert I. Gordan films tend to do. Nice change of pace, as I usually prefer Mike Nelson episodes to Joel's and this is due to the fact that Joel did tend to use very similar films a lot of times like when he did all the Hercules films. When he did do different things he usually was golden though and here the riffs were very funny. You have a lot of ammunition as it is a giant spider film.So all in all a good episode and a rather bland movie. Bert I. Gordan did some good stuff, but only if one likes cheese. Food of the Gods and Empire to me are two of his best and they came out in the 70's so perhaps he was just able to do a bit more in later years due to advancements in technology. His earlier work usually consisted of quick shots and lots of padding and pointless plot points. Still, they did have a certain charm to them.

To begin with, I have to wonder whether Universal ever brought charges of plagiarism against this film in view of their own superior take on the 'giant spider' theme i.e. TARANTULA (1955); the title, then, ripped off Columbia's solid alien invasion movie EARTH VS. THE FLYING SAUCERS (1956)! All of which suggests this was a pure exploitation flick aimed at teenagers (even incorporating a rock'n'roll number at one point) and, on that level, it is not too bad – being also thankfully brief at just 73 minutes – though clearly offering nothing we have not seen before! The Carlsbad caves used for a good part of the duration supply an ideal otherworldly backdrop, even if the special effects involving the spider itself are less successful (the spider often changes color from dark black to light grey!); the wizened make-up created for the blood-drained victims is rather creepy, however. One thing which can be said about Bert I. Gordon is that he was a shrewd promoter and, to be sure, two of his other horror/sci-fi efforts get namechecked here, namely THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN (1957) and ATTACK OF THE PUPPET PEOPLE (1958) – both of which, as it happens, I have acquired in time to be viewed this Halloween (along with three more of the director's work within the genre)

There are few film genres which can evoke such a wonderful sense of vintage entertainment as classic monster horror films. Whether perused in more depth to explore resonant themes and cultural tie-ins or simply taken at face value for comically poor dated special effects and pulpy entertainment, the particular cocktail of entertainment offered by almost any given similar film from the era is unlikely to disappoint - and Earth vs. the Spider is no exception. Despite a somewhat misleading title (then again, 'Small Rural American Town vs. the Spider' does lose some dramatic flair), the film's small, self-contained scope proves to be its greatest advantage, with few more profound aims than to entertain, and, despite whatever other faults, almost unwavering dedication to that front. While firmly ensconced in genre conventions, the film's tongue in cheek tone promotes such a wholesome sense of enjoyment that such clichés feel warmly familiar rather than suffocatingly so. Like many of its contemporaries, the film explores notions of adults versus teenagers (one particularly comical yet chilling scene has the titular creature awoken by a rock 'n roll song and dance interlude) and science versus good old fashioned American values, though the film is politically correct to not outright condemn scientists as nonsensical lunatics as many other such films do. Similarly, the much alluded to cause for the spider's abnormal growth is crucially never discovered, feeding into cultural notions of post-war nuclear paranoia. However, the film boasts surprisingly strong production values (the spider's cave is a wonderfully grotesque setting) and above par special effects given its inevitably low budget, and again manages to bend convention to its advantage through use of an eerie theremin score, giving it a sturdy enough veneer to make for a surprisingly entertaining 73 minutes. Despite the cast's typically universally flat performances failing to infuse much life into the shoddy script, one would hardly peruse such fare for the acting, making the cast's lackluster efforts endearingly amusing. Ed Kemmer interestingly melds the 'scientist voice of reason' and 'charismatic protagonist' figures into a single character, and feels all the more fresh and appealing because of it. June Kenney is often embarrassingly and comically melodramatic as a teen mourning her missing father, and Eugene Persson counterbalances her overacting with a dull, unenthusiastic performance as her earnest, "gee whiz" boyfriend. Gene Roth delivers many an (intentionally) comical moment as the town's ineffective sheriff, who also intriguingly shifts roles into a voice of reason figure later on.Despite a slew of expected faults given its genre, Earth vs. the Spider is never less than supremely entertaining, making for a wonderful comedy (intentionally or not) and easily worth investigating for any fans of classic horror, or those willing to derive amusement from envisioning how frightening it must have been to 1958 audiences, or simply ridiculing it throughout. -5/10