Andy Milligan's unforgettably titled The Rats Are Coming! The Werewolves Are Here! is listed in my trusty The Official Splatter Movie Guide by John McCarty, although its inclusion puzzles me, for it features next to no gore. What it does have are interminable scenes of terrible dialogue, dreadful acting, poor sound quality and the general level of technical ineptitude that I have come to expect from exploitation legend Milligan.The godawful story sees a young married couple arrive in England to visit wife Diana's family, the Mooney's, who harbour a dreadful secret: they are all werewolves. Even with the worst of films, I try to find some sort of positive, but this one has me beaten: I can't find anything good to say about it. Not one thing. In fact, so excruciatingly amateurish and incredibly dull is this film that, even if it had buckets of bargain basement blood and guts, I can't see it being much easier to bear.I rate The Rats Are Coming! The Werewolves Are Here! a pitiful 1/10, although I wish I could give the film 0/10 for including a repulsive scene of unnecessary animal cruelty, the stabbing and nailing of a live mouse.

The tedious condescension of the other reviews notwithstanding, this film passes a number of screen tests that many a more mainstream big budget flick fails: does it have a horror film's one essential, i.e., atmosphere? In spades, although an original score would have helped sustain it better; do the characters dispatch their difficult roles convincingly or do they camp it up in a desire to wink at the audience to let us know that they don't take such an over-the-top scenario seriously? Very convincingly indeed. Mad Monica comes across as especially terrifying, and madness is always one of the hardest personas to bring off. (The actor playing the rather subdued character of Gerald is, perhaps an exception here, but the fault may reside with the part itself, which is the only "normal" voice in the action and suffers from some degree of underwriting.) And finally, the trump question of all dramaturgy: do you find yourself wanting to know how "Rats" ends and what becomes of its characters. Emphatically yes!

***POSSIBLE SPOILERS***This "film" was probably the worst piece of garbage I ever wasted video rental money on. I saw it many years ago, and it still leaves a foul taste whenever I think about it. I could barely get through this swill. Someone else referred to this as "cinematic feces" and I agree wholeheartedly. The close-up sequence involving the mouse clinched it for me that Milligan was one sick b*****d who should have been arrested for animal cruelty.There is nothing whatsoever worthwhile or redeeming about this pile of junk. What a waste of film stock. I couldn't believe there could actually be something worse than BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS, but here it is, folks. When I want a film that's "so bad it's good", I'll haul out something by Ed Wood or Larry Buchanan.

I first met Andy Milligan in 1985 and told him how much I enjoyed his movies. I remember how he actually blushed when I asked for his autograph. This 1972 movie is his best . . .but I am the first to admit that is small compliment. The Mooney family has no end of problems. Pa Mooney claims to be 199 years old, daughter Monica (Hope Stansbury) is a sadist, son Malcolm is a halfwit and the whole family are werewolves! There is enough plot here for two movies! The eldest daughter in the family (Jackie Skarvellis) returns home from medical school with a new husband, which Pa Mooney heartily disapproves of, but she is the last hope that they can overcome the ancient curse. Will she succeed? Remember, this is an Andy Milligan film we are talking about! Clearly Hope Stansbury is the best actress in the picture. A Milligan perennial, she turns up in several of his pictures. Andy always denied it but I suspect it is he playing Mr. Macawber, the one armed, disfigured shopowner who sells Ms. Stansbury the rats which serve to pad out the picture by 11 minutes (11 l-o-n-g minutes!). Notice during one scene in Mr. Macawber's shop if you look at the background you will see several cardboard boxes labeled "Hires Root Beer". A great movie? No. A fun movie? Yes, definitely. I miss you Andy.