This is one of the worst movies out there, slow, plodding, highly improbable, not scary. It is also poorly acted and written: C-bonics. The writer uses the subjective pronoun I instead of the proper objective pronoun me. Let you and I, for you and I- is not standard English. As usual, the black guy of the main characters dies first-same race propaganda we see in 99.9% of movies and TV shows. The actors mumbled most of their lines which made a bad movie even worse. If I had not been too settled on my couch, I would have turned the channel, instead I ran through the movie with my DVR. Hopefully, the writer learned basic English and greatly improved his story telling skills.

Hive, The (2008)* (out of 4) Extremely bad "nature" flick about two-hundred million (give or take a couple) ants that are ravaging through South Asia. The critters are eating countless people until a controversial extermination group comes in but soon they begin to think they're dealing with something much larger. I'll never claim to be any type of expert but I'm pretty sure the title, THE HIVE, is incorrect as ants live in colonies so I'm not sure what's up with the title or anything else that happens in this movie. I'm really not sure where to start on this one but I guess we can start with the actual story. Sure, I guess we could make a movie about millions of ants eating people but this film takes it a step further. Early in the film one of the workers has an ant crawl into his ear and to his brain. Soon this ant is "controlling" the man to do what the ants want but it doesn't stop here because it turns out that aliens are the ones doing all of this stuff. The story is just downright stupid but just when you think it can't get any worse it actually does. I think another major issue is the CGI, which is really bad. The effects are so obviously fake that you can never take anything serious and not for a single second will you actually think or feel as if you're watching all of these ants. What's worse is that at the end of the film the ants are teaming together and creating various things including an arm that can come down and pick someone up. Yes, more dumbness. The performances in the film are pretty much what you'd expect from a film like this and there's no question that the screenplay does none of them any justice. I think the biggest problem is that the film is simply boring. As wild, stupid and crazy as this thing is you'd think that it would at least be entertaining in a bad way but it isn't.

The Hive starts as terror sweeps a small Thai island called Ban Tao, millions of killer flesh-eating Ant's are on the march devouring innocent locals & damaging property wherever they go. Some Thai geezer who own's or runs the island or something calls in Thorax Industries lead by company founder Leonard (Kal Weber), together with his crew Leonard uses high-tech laser pulse gun weaponry to rid Ban Tao of it's killer Ant problem but Leonard has never come up against Ant's like these before. These Ant's are smart, they form war like strategies, set traps & even try to communicate with us human beings. Puzzled & unsure of this behaviour Leonard calls in foremost Ant behaviour expert Claire (Elizabeth Healy) & together they make an amazing discovery about the origins of the Ant's intelligence...Directed by Peter Manus I have to say that I am not quite sure what the hell I watched here, The Hive is one of the most totally bizarre & frankly laugh-out-loud ridiculous & unintentionally hilarious Sci-Fi Channel 'Creature Feature' piece's of crap I have ever seen. If you think the average film that plays on there is inept & silly then you ain't seen nothing yet, or at least until you have seen The Hive anyway. I can't believe someone wrote this, there's all sorts in here randomly thrown together with little regard for the audience who actually have to watch it. There's flesh-eating Ant's who join together to make a computer which coloured 'impulses' travel down, there's the Ant's being able to 'see' as one, there's a bunch of insect exterminator's who look like a cross between the space mission in Armageddon (1998) with their orange spacesuits & the Ghost Busters (1984) with heir backpack styled laser beam weapons which kill & vapourise Ant's but leaves the surrounding terrain, property & other living creatures totally unharmed & if the ridiculouslessness of that wasn't bad enough there's a terrible sci-fi angle in which it turns out that an alien has been controlling the Ant's all along. Why was it controlling the Ant's? Why no other creatures? What did it want? Just a section of the island? Why? If it was controlling the Ant's anyway why did the Ant's form that 'computer'? Add to that a pointless sub-plot about a guy who gets an Ant stuck in his ear for no apparent reason (he hated Ant's before having one lodged in his ear, hated them while it was there & still hated them when it left so what was the point of that?) & in my opinion nothing in The Hive works, the plot is a mess of ideas & outlandish themes which I couldn't take seriously for a second & spent most of the time picking holes in the script & production values between various bouts of laughter.Right, I don't know much about Ant's & maybe someone will correct me but don't Bees & Wasp's live in hives while Ant's live in Colonies? Well, that's what it says on Wikipedia anyway & I have never heard of an Ant hive before. The pace of the film is quite good, it never slows down but but the end the silliness really got to me & by the time the Ant's took the little girl hostage I was completely out of the story & continued watching for curiosity sake alone. As with most Sci-Fi Channel 'Creature Features' the CGI effects are mainly terrible, some are alright like the giant Ant at the end but they never pass those heady heights, most are just plain awful & it's as simple as that. There's not much in the way of gore, there's a few skeletons, a puffed up bleeding face & a corpse inside a spacesuit which you can't see properly.Apparently filmed in Krabi in Thailand this looks surprisingly bland, as I was watching The Hive I thought it could have been shot just about anywhere. The production values are fairly low with poor special effects & terribly dubbed local actor's (the 'we don't negotiate with Ant's' line is hilarious). The US actor's don't do a much better job either & are instantly forgettable.The Hive is yet more 'Creature Feature' crap from the Sci-Fi Channel or whatever production company they brought it off, a terrible story, awful CGI effects & an Ant in someones ear means I am grateful i caught this on cable telly & didn't spend any money on it. One to avoid.

The Thorax team is tasked with exterminating ants that somehow managed to take over an island, but these are no ordinary any, oh no, there's are super-ants with a master plan. Yes, this movie is utterly ridiculous, but it's also extremely watchable and has a very high camp factor. The Sci-fi channel doesn't have the best of track records when it comes to their 'Sci-fi Originals', but thankfully this one stands head and shoulders among the best of those. Turn off your brain, just go with it, and enjoy the film with your choice of alcoholic beverage. The only grip I have is that the ending was a bit of a let-down.My Grade: B