Every Christmas, the Hallmark channel comes out with a fresh line-up of Christmas movies that play all day every day from Thanksgiving through New Year's Day. There's a sprinkling of really great ones mixed in among the mediocre ones that are tolerated because of the spirit of the season. And every once in a while, there's a movie so putrid you'll either turn it off or wish you had once it's over. Unfortunately for Hallmark, this year's all-star film that received the majority of the publicity and advertising is by far the worst corny Christmas movie I've ever seen. And I watch every Christmas movie I can get my hands on.The incredibly handsome Dermot Mulroney takes a train from Chicago to Los Angeles, and the moment he arrives at the station, his fellow passengers start acting incredibly weird. They're all introducing themselves, telling him their life stories and asking about his, and doling out clichés like Halloween candy. The lighting on the train is overexposed, adding to the already ominous aura; I actually considered turning the film off because I was convinced the train was full of dead people and they were escorting Dermot to Heaven—that's how not-normal the film felt.As incredibly handsome as Dermot Mulroney is—and trust me, you'll be tempted to keep watching the movie just to keep staring at him—his gorgeous mug isn't enough to even remotely save the movie. And as bad as I feel for him for being forced into taking this role, I feel worse for Danny Glover. He was in The Color Purple, and now he's been reduced to playing an eccentric film director in the worst Hallmark Christmas movie ever made? Shirley MacLaine starred in Hallmark's A Heavenly Christmas last year, so it isn't unheard of that big names flock to Hallmark during the holidays, but The Christmas Train is so awful it almost defies description.Every corny, tooth-aching cliché you can think of is included in the script, and there's even a few included that I'd never heard before—and I sincerely hope I'll never have to hear them again. Literally every single line of dialogue and plot point is terrible, from the first scene to the last images before the end credits. Even if you're desperately in love with Dermot Mulroney—and I can't imagine you loving him more than I do—do not watch this movie unless you want to start hating Christmas movies.

This was billed continuously leading up to the premiere as a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie. It wasn't Hall of Fame worthy for me.Take how deeply I felt about it. I have watched literally dozens of Christmas movies this season and in a good percentage, still dozens of movies, I had tears in my eyes ranging from in one movie tears start to finish to other movies at least a couple times, and everywhere in between. For this movie, I had no tears, at all. Neither joy nor sadness.Take enjoyment. I sat through virtually the entire movie waiting to enjoy it. I think a big part of my problem was I couldn't get invested in the romantic leads. Is that because of their respective ages? I think it was more than that. Now I was attracted to Kimberly Williams-Paisley and her character, but not enough to make the whole movie fun for me.Take production and sets. There were lots of shots of model toy trains in the snow. One scene with everyone staring out the window at the leads had a totally cheesy appearance. All the outdoor sets were bad and the snow was fake.Take acting. OK here at least are a couple pluses. Danny Glover and Joan Cusack both did their parts very well. I already mentioned Williams-Paisley, but overall her acting was just OK. Dermot Mulroney lacked spark.Take story. This is the biggest plus. For being a story on a train, there was a surprising amount going on. And the ending was truly interesting!!! On the other hand, the climax wasn't that great and the rest after that was not all that inspiring. Yes, it was the usual Hallmark kind of ending, but not with as much impact as I'd expect.Was this movie watchable. Yes, I think so. I was just expecting so much more due to the buildup. The true measure is will I watch it again. I don't think so.

The Christmas Train was one of the best Hallmark Christmas movies this year. I loved all the actors, the heartwarming stories, the snow storm and the mystery thief. I gave it a 5 because of the "unmagical" ending.I had this magical feeling. Everyone was happy and Christmas miracles were everywhere. Then the shock that all the stories were planned by the editor on the train...the young couple getting married, the chance meeting of the journalists and the list goes on and on. All fake. That took the joy away from the entire movie and ruined it for me. The magic was gone after that. I asked my relatives what they thought and they all said the same thing. The ending should have finalized without the finding of the script and the planned outcome. The ending provided no Christmas miracles or joy. A calculated, unmagical ending does not fit the Christmas season.

This was the biggest dog of a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie premier I've ever seen. The dialogue was abominable - stilted and totally unconvincing. Danny Glover as Max whispered and rasped his lines (probably because he has an old voice). Joan Cusack's "acting" was comprised solely of screwing up her mouth in order to show a range of emotion: confusion, sadness, empathy, you name it. It was very unattractive and distracting. The plot was totally unbelievable, including a scene in Chicago where Tom and Eleanor go dancing (and swilling champagne) at a reception where everyone except them is in evening wear - they never would have made it through the front door! Ridiculous. I couldn't even suspend belief and enjoy this mess, although I watched til the bitter end. Don't blame me if you watch this movie and are sorely disappointed!