I've been a fan of monster movies as long as I can remember, ever since watching Ray Harryhausen movies as a kid. Well, times have changed and CGI effects have replaced stop-motion Plasticine creatures, but are monster movies still any good? On the strength of SPIDERS, I'd say yes! From the first, you have to go into SPIDERS expecting a cheesy B-movie as this is exactly what you get. Don't look for any serious acting or a well-written plot as you won't find them in this genre. Instead, the film-makers focus on offering up a ton of monster action (on a limited budget, mind), quite a few laughs, and as many genre clichés as they can fit into the running time.Things kick off as a space shuttle crash-lands (really bad effect) and our trio of college student heroes (two nerds, one jock) investigate a sinister government base. Before you can say THE HIDDEN, a massive spider has burst out of a corpse's mouth and is on the run, webbing people up and growing until it reaches behemoth-size proportions. For the first hour and ten minutes, the spider is mainly an animatronic beast before becoming a huge CGI-menace in the traditional "rampage" climax. Mechanical effects for the beastie are generally good, with a few wobbly bits; the CGI effects look, well, just like CGI but I didn't mind them as much here as in other films.The acting is nothing to write home about, as the leads are all supposed teenagers (actually twentysomethings) and the heroine's transformation from geek to Ripley-style heroine is as unbelievable as you'd expect. Mark Phelan is the villain of the piece and his sneering man-in-black comes across as a low-budget Lance Henriksen-alike. The movie has plenty of references to THE X-FILES with rubbery aliens in jars and there are also lots of in-jokes; for instance, we see the body of one "Morrison, J." hidden away in "Area 21" (sic). I was quite pleased with the level of gore on display, with all manner of mutilated bodies, copious slime and gunk, and the centrepiece monster-from-mouth which was quite clearly stolen from THE HIDDEN but which still packs a punch. The swelling heads of the bitten victims are suitably disgusting although the CGI explosions are less than impressive.The film was written on the fly by Boaz Davidson, an Israeli producer who seems to be making a name for himself as the 'Golan-Globus' of the noughties. Director Gary Jones also made MOSQUITO in 1994, another genuinely fun monster flick. While this film is as stupid as you would expect – at one stage our heroes discover a rocket launcher LEFT LYING AROUND in a helicopter on campus – it has a tongue-in-cheek spirit that makes it entertaining, while it never goes for outright laughs as in the dumb EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS. The finale, in which the giant spider rampages through the college campus, is absolutely hilarious stuff, watch out for the guy who tries to jump the bonnet of the police car, brilliant. More rampaging monster flicks need to be like this and less like the execrable GODZILLA remake.

Oh, the irony.To be frank, I only sought after this film because of how much I adored Mosquito, another giant bug movie from the same director, Gary Jones. Let me tell you, this is no Mosquito. Not even close.Spiders has some cool aspects. For example, the climax of the film is surprisingly enjoyable and the animtronic effects look somewhat decent half of the time, as the DVD cover proudly boasts "from the same effects team as Army Of Darkness, Spawn, and Wishmaster!" But the compliments end there. Porn stars would be facepalming in embarrassment at the lack of acting ability present at the set, but I'm not sure who to blame; the actors or the abysmal script.This has got to be one of the worst screenplays I've ever seen translated into film. Every line of dialog is clichéd and laughable, with laughable line delivery by the elementary school play actors to top it off. Yes, Mosquito had some terrible acting too, but it had good acting to even it out. There is only one good actor in Spiders, and he says two lines before getting shot. Excellent casting guys, bravo. It also doesn't help that the characters are written with zero likability as they make dumb decision after dumb decision after dumb decision. Truly, the characters and actors are what subtract so many stars from the rating.Gary Jones made Mosquito with only $200,000 but created an enjoyable and extremely entertaining B-movie with lots of gore and high rewatch value. Gary Jones made Spiders with $2 million, but created an embarrassing, appalling mess with little to no redeemable factors.

I remember watching this movie a long time ago and I specifically remember liking this movie so much and I saw it about another 20 more times, now after looking at it again in 8 years I ask myself: "What made me like this movie so much?" This movie essentially tells the story of a shuttle mission gone wrong. When a solar flair hits a space shuttle affecting a select number of spiders that have been injected with alien DNA, it crash lands in a secret government base outside of L.A. Now, after a huge spider is on the loose, it's up to a pretty boy MIB, a somewhat cute college reporter and an oddball group of college photographers to stop it. This movie had some impressive make-up and special effects, really bad acting and voice-overs and did a great job utilizing some conspiracy theories to intensify this story.First off, this movie had some very impressive and very gory make-up in this movie that I remember. Whenever somebody got bitten by these spiders, they become deformed and huge sacks of pus or swollen skin starts to form on their faces and bodies. The make-up really enhances this syndrome and it really brings justice to the "scare factor." The notable make-up jobs would be the astronauts that were in the shuttle and how each of them looked like after the spider attacked them. There is a great amount of gore in this movie that ranges from puking, to spider transformation, to shootings, even to spider bites. There was one scene in particular that I remember for being very disturbing was when a huge spider tunnels its way out of somebody's mouth and attacks someone. There was a great effect when the lead villain turns into a spider and legs start exploding from his back. There was a lot of gore when people got shot or when the camera showed the aftermath of when the spider exploded out of somebody's stomach. When it came to the spiders, they were CG, of course, but for that time and for this kind of movie, the CG was pretty outstanding and the director knew how to utilize the real life thing to accompany for the computerized monster. Though, this is coming from the guy who did Skeeter. For a no-budgeter, it had some very good gore scenes.The acting was far from being good; in fact, most of the dialogue was later enhanced with a voice-over, which really tells you something about the sound quality of this picture. Not only did the actors and actresses do a mediocre job of physical acting, but because they had to voice-dug later, they seemed way too tired to even put effort or character into their voice. You have some okay acting by Lana Parrilla, Josh Green and Nick Swarts, who all did an okay job trying to devote themselves to their characters. However, Oliver Macready, Mark Phelan and Mark Totty, did not do a good job at all, both physical and oral. About half way into the movie I said to myself, in a sarcastic remark, "Wow! This movie has some top notch, brilliant acting." It just seemed like these guys were not that involved with the project, so they didn't put much effort into their characters.What I noticed, almost right away, was the sort of X-Files theme that this movie incorporated into its plot. You have numerous, and almost brilliantly subtle, references to the Men in Black, evidenced by Agent Grey and Murphy. There was a brilliant parody of Area 51, though in this movie it goes by the name of Area 21. The heroine of this movie is a conspiracy theorist and believes in the existence of extraterrestrial beings, while her male co-workers are skeptical, again an X-Files reference with switched genders. There are alien cameos an even a disturbing scene of a frozen astronaut that is wearing an Apollo 18 badge; for some reason that scene creeps me out. It's easy to see where they got their inspiration for this kind of movie and I think it was really well done.Overall, this movie is loaded with some great spectacular make-up and gore effects that are worthy of viewing and a great harbor for conspiracies. Though what drug this movie down for me was the unbelievable bad acting and voice-overs as well as a plot line that has been used over and over again, it's become cliché. However, because there are two wrongs and two rights, this movie gets an honorable average rating. I would recommend this movie to any kind of horror fan simply so that you can say that you've seen it. Because if you haven't, then I'll be shocked, it's the kind of horror movie that you should see once and respect it for trying but certainly not honor. I would strongly recommend this movie to anybody who loves cult classics too. As for me, I really only need to see it once and my whole 20-time campaign still baffles me today.

Spiders (2000, Dir. Gary Jones) A DNA experiment on a rare breed of spider is taking place on a NASA space shuttle, when a freak meteor shower engulfs the shuttle, causing everything to go horribly wrong. One survivor is found on the ship and watched over in a secret location deep in the California desert. The problem continues, as the survivor isn't alone, as another deadly spiders climbs out of him and goes on a rampage around the ship. Curious reporter Marci Eyre must now survive, escape and warn everyone before the spider reaches outside the desert.When i purchased this movie for 99p (in UK), i wasn't expect a great movie. Normeally these movies have bad effects, bad acting and a terrible script, but i was totally surprised about this film. 'Spiders' is an enjoyable film from start to finish. Naturally the story isn't original and there are a few cheesy lines, but overall the script had a nice twist. The acting was actually very good and quite professional for this film. The special effects wasn't the best, and seemed flawed in a few places, such as the spider changing sizes, but it's not the worse. There are a few scenes which look wonderful on film, particularly the spider flipping the car. Overall, this is a wonderful film to watch, but i should add something. If you want a shorter version of the film, then watch the trailer (well, at least the trailer on the DVD), as the trailer reveals everything, including the deaths. Enjoy "'Mother-in-law' is in the building." - Agent Gray (Mark Phelan)