Among my several gauges for a movie, entertain me is always first...and Small Soldiers does exactly that. Certainly it is sort of a dumb fantasy film, but the plot is presented in such a way that you really can't help but like it, heh heh...First of all, a toy company CEO wants to amaze kids by presenting a mechanized line of interactive action figures. The production team wants to use smart chips to make them lifelike, but the CEO ok's the purchase of some military grade rejected smart chips...the fun starts immediately after they are inserted into a first production run of (pretty raunchy) soldier commando types, while the "nice" chips go into the fantasy "Gorgonites", a group of figures straight out of fantasyland, heh heh...I won't narrate the whole movie, but frankly is you want a diversion that is fun and vaguely morality driven at the same time, look this one up...it is definitely fun...

"Small Soldiers" is a decent enough '90s family film. My only complaint is that the movie felt a bit long, but I mostly liked it otherwise. Phil Hartman was a great addition - sadly, it was his last film. I still love watching old SNL episodes from his run. This film has a creative plot, great visuals for the time, some humour, great film references - from 2001 to Apocalypse Now - and was an altogether entertaining film.

1. This is one of those movies I watched as a kid and enjoyed now for nostalgia purposes. I think the DVD I watched this on was one of the first DVDs ever made.2. Top notch casting, even if some of the voice acting doesn't have the heft of Inside Out or The Lion King. Tommy Lee Jones aces it as Major Chip Hazard.3. Add a star for the Patton spoof where Chip Hazard recites every single cliché American speech line and turns it into the most patriotic speech ever made.4. The screenplay never takes itself too seriously but at the same time doesn't feel cheesy. Its a tough balance to walk for a movie about killer army men, but they handle it well.5. Its a delight to see Phil Hartman on film (his final screen appearance). Of the on-screen cast, Kirsten Dunst charms the audience easily as Christy and Kevin Dunn makes a mark as Alan's father. Gregory Smith is adequate as the film's protagonist Alan, playing him as a T2- era John Connor. Ann Magnusson has a very memorable moment towards the end with a tennis racket.6. Dennis Leary absolutely owns the entire screen as Gil Mars. I don't use that phrase lightly, but when Leary is on screen the whole movie is elevated dramatically. It is a Velma Kelly level of screen presence.7. The love story between Alan and Christy is goofy. Her boyfriend is barely an obstacle because she doesn't seem to even like him that much. She flirts with Alan in the same breath as saying that she only dates older boys.8. The battle sequences are fantastic, a great blend of practical effects and CGI. The use of standard house tools and items somehow raises the stakes to an incredible level.9. Its a great family movie but above all else it is just a delightful movie to sit down and watch. Certainly above average in all respects.

This movie was the worst movie I have ever seen. The acting was so bad I wanted to puke, the soldiers were so stupid I wanted to pass out, and the lines of this movie were so ridiculously bad I wanted to die. "Just because you can't see it doesn't mean its not there." I mean what the ****! This movie SOMEHOW managed to get decent ratings. If someone says this movie was good, I am going to punch them. I hope this director never makes any movie again. This movie was so bad, if he made any other movies, the average rating would probably be -345671254312698215469. I hope they never come out with a sequel. If they do, I will break all of there cameras in half. They might as well record a coffee cup, and that would still be better than this movie. Unbelievable.