"Take this camel jockey out back—and hose her down!" "That chicken has declared jihad on us all!"...and so on.All Hollywood ever gives us are boobs, muscles, aggression and explosions: nothing subtle. Ever. So, the exploitation genre figures, why patronize us with a hackneyed plot? Enter Poultrygeist, a subversive film where we're given sex and violence on a pornographic scale. It's a wonderful addition to the splatstick genre, equal parts satire and horror. It's funny, highly quotable, and worth your time. Gross? Sure, if you think obvious cranberry juice as blood is gross. Offensive? I guess, but it's a movie where chickens replace zombies. If you find this film offensive, then you're most likely a PC fool.I only have three gripes with Poultrygeist. First, there are way too many musical numbers. Songs in comedies never work. All they do is reiterate the plot up until that point, rephrasing already said dialogue, while adding nothing new. Plus they're never funny. Songs slow the momentum of comedies completely, by forcing you to sit patiently and wait for the plot to pick back up just for the sake of squeezing a limerick or pun in with a rhyme now and then.Second, Poultrygeist feels overlong at 103 minutes (90 may even be too long) but on repeated viewings the extra run time may be welcome. I don't often rewatch comedies (who likes hearing the same joke twice?) but Poultrygeist exists in its own special little vacuum and its cult quality is evident. That said, I found the movie kind of dragging towards the end the first time I watched it, and in a single viewing the extra run time hurts the overall shock and awe of the film.Third is not so much a problem with Poultrygeist itself, but rather the attitude (or philosophy) behind its studio, Troma Movies. I watched this entire film on Troma Movie's official youtube site (handy tip: type NSFW ahead of youtube in the URL to bypass the annoying sign-in age filter) and I noticed that the tagline for Troma Movies is "40 years of disrupting media." I just want to point out that Poultrygeist isn't truly "disruptive" media. Lloyd Kaufman is no rebel and and neither are you for watching this film. Anyway, these are minor gripes through and through. Hey: thumbs up just for the Irish priest complaining about the severed member in his sloppy joe and the depiction of the character "Hummus.""Like the dip!"

Troma has become self-aware in its flagrant appeal to the "so bad its good" crowd. That concept can be hilariously funny, but only when played straight. Movies like "Troll 2" are entertaining because the director had a serious horror flick in mind, but lacked the budget or (more often) talent to execute his vision."Poultrygeist" pretends to be a schlocky, Z-grade flick, but it actually comes full circle and remains awful. The jokes are intended to be low-brow and the effects are an intentional nudge to low-budget horror. This is a bit like the woman from the "Where's the beef?" commercials of the 1980s. It was initially funny, but once the gag has been played over-and-over, ad nauseum, it becomes pathetic. It makes you wonder if they have anything beyond their one-dimensional schtick.This movie is utter garbage and doesn't entertain on any level. If you laughed, you're probably already a fan of Troma. I can't imagine this appealing to anyone beyond fanboys.

The best part of the film is in the bonus features and is from a person who walked around with a camera documenting everyone involved in making the film as it was sort of being made. It showed the anger, frustration, cussing, ineptness behind the scenes. After seeing that, which I suggest viewers see before seeing the film, I can understand why the target audience is 10 to 14 year old males given that the adults actors were, for the most part, regressing to or never egressed from that period in life. Yes, we all know it's all a very low budget spoof of the sex/horror stuff that's been around for decades. But, whether it's high or low budget the "for money & status" task of simply redoing without creativity or imagination is just plain boring. Acting? Never was a consideration unless you count one or two, brought in for 10 seconds or so, cameo spots. Setting? An abandoned fast food restaurant. Props, costumes? Reused from previous movies for the most part. Rubber penis; Halloween store nasty trick stuff; fake internal organs; detached plastic/rubber legs, arms, heads. I wonder if the gallons of fake blood and green gooey stuff was previously used? The inverse ratio test of quality: Over 200 special thanks/citizen volunteers; 28 personal assistants; 26 songs. That's too much low quality filler. I wonder if Rome got to this point before it fell?

This film was a complete waste of my life. It wasn't even so bad that it was good, it was worse than that. If you want a terrible movie that entertains then you've got to be looking at Megashark Vs Giant Octopus - this will provide all the low-budget thrills you need without wanting to throw up in seconds. Particular low-lights include a man's testicles being deep fried, the singing set pieces and the use of a broomstick as a penis. Oh, and let's not forget the exploding feces guy - that sucked too. This film had no redeeming features; even the lesbians looked like washed out crack junkies barely on the road to recovery. In fact, I watched this film in Canada and somehow this made Canada seem a little seedier and darker than it had before. No more Tim Horton's for me. I hate this film.