Out Cold is a little-known comedy gem from 2001 that has somehow managed to find its way on my list of movies that I watch on a semi-regular basis.The film is set in the fictional ski town of Bull Mountain, Alaska, a place which manages to maintain its unpretentious, laid-back small town atmosphere despite being located in an area famous for its great skiing and snowboarding. The plot focuses on a group of young twenty-something local residents who enjoy snowboarding, getting drunk, getting high, and playing practical jokes on each other. Leading this group of likable misfits is a man named Rick Rambis (played by Jason London), who is unable to form a relationship with attractive snowboarding instructor Jenny (played by A.J. Cook) because he is still pining over a girl he met during a drunken binge in Cancun, Mexico.When wealthy businessman John Majors (played by veteran actor Lee Majors) steps in with the intent of buying Bull Mountain and turning it into an Aspen-like "espresso and tofu" resort that caters to rich yuppies, the residents of Bull Mountain begin to fear that they will all be fired and forced to leave town. Adding to the turmoil is the arrival of Majors' two daughters: Inga, (played by former Playboy Playmate of the Year Victoria Silvstedt) a gorgeous blonde bombshell, and Anna (played by Caroline Dhavernas), Rick's old flame from his Cancun vacation.What follows is a slobs versus snobs comedy in the tradition of "Caddyshack" and "Animal House" as the locals try to stop their town from being taken over by Majors and his cronies. The film also directly parodies Casablanca in several parts, with Rick finding himself in a situation similar to Humphrey Bogart's most famous character from his most famous film.The acting or script will never win any awards, but the film does provide enough humor to make it worth a rental. It also features some truly impressive snowboarding footage performed by some of the top snowboarders in the world. I also feel the need to mention David Koechner, who provides a hilarious performance as Stumpy, a hard-drinking, tall-tale telling local who is probably insane.One complaint I have about the movie is that it feels like several scenes were edited or removed entirely so that it would be given a PG-13 rating rather than an R rating. Hopefully someday an unrated DVD will be released.I give this film a 7 out of 10. It's not a classic comedy, but it's entertaining enough to be worth a rental.

I don't usually do this, but one actor in this film has captivated me so much, that I am going to write an entire review strictly about him. His chiseled facial features and rippling biceps provide a good case against anyone who thinks that Michaelangelo stopped carving fine marble. And his hauntingly beautiful voice is one for the ages, one that plummets deep into the soul of man like some sonic Magic School Bus and penetrates your soul like only Dirk Diggler (and the man himself) could. His presence on the screen is not just magnetic; it causes you to re-evaluate your life. I am of course talking about the one, the only, Derek Hamilton.After seeing this movie, I went to my doctor. He informed me I have 7 broken ribs due to intense laughing, and occasional guffawing. He informed me that if I watched the movie again, I may quite possibly die. But I did not care. I watched it again that very night. I woke up in the intensive care ward of the hospital. The doctor told me I would never walk again. Reader...it was worth it.But there was something else, something deeper than spine-shattering laughter present. It seemed that any time that Derek was not on screen, I fell into a deep depression. My doctor prescribed me zoloft, paxil, but it was no use. There seemed something humanely wrong with not putting this man-- nay, God-- in every single frame of film, and it is the only reason the film is not receiving a 10 out of 10 rating. There is no conceivable reason the credits did not consist of him sitting in a chair reading out names. He could be sitting on the can and it would still be more riveting than the Cuban missile crisis.His portrayal of Pig Pen is the most accurate performance I have ever seen. It has been reported that Marlon Brando died of pulmonary fibrosis. In actuality, he saw Out Cold, and after witnessing the incomparable majesty of Derek's performance, realized that all his method acting training was a gargantuan waste of time, because nothing he had even done had ever caused such cinematic exuberance. He died of a broken heart.I could go on...but I will not. Because every second you spend reading this is a minute that could be spent witnessing the single greatest performance in the history of celluloid. It is said that Stephen Hawking created a time machine, and traveled through wormhole in time when he was 21. When he arrived in the future of 2001, the first thing he saw was a movie theatre that was playing Out Cold. He watched the film, and after doing so, decided to scrap all of his projects, and devote his time to figuring out how Derek Hamilton's performance was so magnificent. He soon lost the use of his arms and legs. You do the math.

OK, if you want an intelligent, thought provoking, good movie...this is not it. If you want a stupid, drunken, poor excuse for a movie that will actually make you laugh, see it. There are some really stupid scenes, as well as some really funny ones. This movie is geared toward a younger audience, it is kind of like Grind, only with snowboarding instead of skateboarding. For those of you that don't know, snowboarding is a sport in which a drunken idiot, like myself, straps them self to a piece of wood and slides down a snow covered mountain and does flips and spins and slides across pieces of metal and wood.Plus, it has the six million dollar man in it so why wouldn't you see it?

Zak's script was remarkably clever - especially for this genre of film. It was full of classical movie references (everything from Oklahoma! to Casablanca) as Zak, through his writing , acknowledged that writing an original teen comedy is an oxymoron. And so he mined his favorite movie for material and came up with a fun contemporary boy meets girl, loses girl, gets girl back, loses girl again story that was an irreverent nod to some old Hollywood greats. Then the D-weasels got a hold of it (I blame the Spyglass kids primarily). They "toned down" what was best about it and gave it to a couple of neophyte hacks to direct. The result is cheap knockoff that doesn't know what it wants to be (come on - a sex scene with a Playmate with no nudity??!!), populated by actors and directors who couldn't understand what Zak was going for and hence could put no punch into the dialogue. Those of you that like this movie, I wholeheartedly disagree. It's a bad film. Those that don't like it, at least understand that this one started out good and Zaks talent as a writer is solid.