When I first heard the expression "Mary, Kate and Ashley Olsen" I assumed it referred to three people rather than two; I had some vague idea that Mary and Kate were twin sisters and Ashley their brother. My error was, in fact, corrected pretty quickly. I had, of course, failed to reckon with two aspects of the American naming system which generally strike us Brits as a bit eccentric, their fondness for hyphenated Christian names and for converting perfectly good male names into female ones. So "Mary-Kate" turned out to be one person rather than two and "Ashley" a girl rather than a boy.You couldn't go anywhere in the late 1990s or early 2000s without coming across some reference to the Olsen Twins. They quickly became a major element of the popular culture of the period. Every month seemed to bring some new film or television programme featuring them, although their dominance was to be a fairly brief one. They retired from acting in 2004 when they were only eighteen. They have, however, remained in the public eye because of their new career as fashion designers and their younger sister Elizabeth has now become an actress in her own right.In "Our Lips Are Sealed", made when they were fourteen, the twins play Maddie and Abby Parker, twin sisters who witness a jewel robbery in which the priceless Kneel Diamond (Neil Diamond, geddit?) is stolen. Their evidence is vital in getting the robber convicted, but as the man's uncle is a notorious gangster from the Eastern European nation of Urugli (You're ugly, geddit?) the girls and their family are placed in the FBI's Witness Protection Programme. Unfortunately, Maddie and Abby's lips are far from sealed. They are such blabbermouths that they keep on revealing the family's secret, with the result that the FBI have to keep moving them until they end up in Sydney, Australia. The rest of the film deals with the girls' attempts to fit into their new school, a surfing contest and their outwitting of the two assassins who have been sent by the gangster to hunt them down.The film's attempts at verbal humour are pretty crude; besides the examples quoted above the notorious Uruglian gangster has the surname Hatchew, which leads to endless "Bless you!" jokes. (Atchoo, geddit?) American preconceptions about Australia (which seem to be much the same as British ones) are another fertile source of humour. Apparently all Australians spend most of their time on the beach, love surfing, keep a kangaroo as a pet and live on a staple diet of Vegemite. They also speak a bizarre and incomprehensible dialect, although some of the words which baffle Maddie and Abby (such as "jumper" for "sweater") are also in common usage in Britain. Oh, and all Aussie girls are called Sheila. (I think we in Britain stopped telling that joke some time in the seventies. There was a related joke about all Aussie men being called Bruce). A comedy which relies upon bad puns and ethnic stereotypes to get laughs does not seem very promising, but actually I ended up rather enjoying "Our Lips Are Sealed", even though I am (and was even in 2000) far from being a member of the demographic at which the film was clearly aimed. The reason is that the Olsen girls were such natural little performers. Their screen persona was that of smart, sassy youngsters who are always one step ahead of everyone else, be it their parents, the bad guys or the so-called "popular girl" at their new school. (The film transfers to Australia the standard American cliché that every high school is dominated by a bitchy, snobbish clique of "popular girls" whose popularity owes everything to their good looks and their families' wealth and nothing to their personalities, which are invariably obnoxious). They frequently break the "fourth wall" to speak direct to camera, and it is not always clear whether they are doing so as the Parker sisters or as the Olsen sisters.It is easy to understand why the twins' acting career did not survive their entry into womanhood; they had become too closely identified with childhood and adolescence for anyone to envisage them as adult performers. Other former child stars, notably Shirley Temple, have fallen into the trap of trying to extend their careers past their sell- by date, so Mary-Kate and Ashley were perhaps wise to move into new ventures. This film, however, reveals how entertaining they could be in their heyday. 6/10

The Olsen Twins once again are involved in a film that only their fans would appreciate in Our Lips Are Sealed.They play Maddy and Abby - twin sisters that accidentally witnessed a crime and have been placed in an FBI Witness Protection Program.Despite of it,they still could not keep a secret that the FBI decide to send them to Australia wherein the gangster involved in the crime soon discover them.As always,this movie is the same clichéd,predictable and unfunny.Also,it requires little thinking especially for adult viewers.As always,we see the Olsen Twins characters being boy crazy and dim-witted as well.

After taking the time out my busy schedule to check out some of the reviews for my all-time favorite movie, I was utterly shocked and upset to find that it had such a low rating! This is a flawlessly produced movie consisting of love, heartbreak, horror, action, and dancing. I can't think of any other movie that contains all of these elements that also keeps the audience entertained throughout the entire movie. It was a truly original story where two sisters along with their family are put into the witness protection program after gunning down a criminal with a bottle of ketchup (LOL!) I thought it was very realistic how the girls kept blabbing about why they had moved to all the different towns. Who can count on teenage girls to keep a secret anyway? Their representation of Australia seemed very accurate and it really makes me want to visit there! They all seem so friendly! Except for that retched Victoria! If I ever see her, I'll sure give her a piece of my mind! My favorite part of the movie was during the surf war! It was exciting, definitely a nail-biter. I love when the boy hurts his widgie. It's hard to tell what he is referring to his widgie at first but then I realized what he meant. That is one of my favorite lines of any movie if you couldn't tell by my user-name! Overall, this is an excellent film. Perfectly scripted, and amazing in every way. I recommend it to EVERYONE!!

All you MK&A fans out there, please accept the facts: the twins' movies are mindless pieces of junk. They go to some exotic location, meet some *cough* 'hot' boys, (MK falls in love with one, A falls in love with the other, and surprise surprise, both boys fall in love with the right one - that's not always how love is) some big problem arises separating the poor girls from their loves (big deal - they'll have brand-new boyfriends next movie), MK&A solve the problem (WOW, never saw that coming) and become the 'hot' guys' girlfriends. They were cute when they were younger, but now they're teens, they've lost the cute twin thing, and their lack of talent is revealed. They even tried to make a movie about turning sixteen. Oh, and they made dolls strung around that flimsy theme. Millions of people turn sixteen every day. Mary Kate and Ashley are nothing special... And the sad truth is that they're not all that attractive.