I don't think that I ever got around to watching this movie back in my younger years, even as an avid horror fan back then. I had a chance to sit down and watch it now late in 2016. I must admit that I didn't initially have any particularly high hopes for it, granted the fact that it was a 1983 slasher movie - as to what I understood from the synopsis. But having grown up with slasher movies, then I at least wanted to see what this movie was all about.Let's just say that I didn't even make it to the ending of the movie before I had given up out of sheer boredom. "Mortuary" was painfully slow-paced and lacked anything even remotely thrilling. And it's storyline was essentially as fulfilling as trying to giftwrap emptiness.For a slasher movie then "Mortuary" was anything but interesting or entertaining. It was, at best, a half-hearted attempt at a horror / slasher movie. Compared to movies such as "Friday the 13th" and "Nightmare on Elm Street" it was just an embarrassing movie to sit and bear witness to.The movie was lacking a proper storyline to lure in the audience and keep you nailed to the seat, and it was this that lead me to give up and move on to watch another movie.As for the acting, well I will say that people were doing adequate enough jobs with the limitations imposed on them in terms of a flawed storyline and lack of proper script. And it was fun, I will say that much, to see a very young Bill Paxton in a movie such as this."Mortuary" is not entertaining, and I can honestly say that I will not ever be returning to this movie in order to finish the last half of the movie. It just failed to entertain me on any level, and there is nothing worthwhile to be experienced here.If you enjoy a proper slasher movie, then there are more than plenty to pick from, especially if you have a thing for 1980's movies.

I like cheese. I buy cheese. I eat cheese. I watch cheese. But when the cheese gets moldy I throw it out and start fresh. To me, this film is nothing more than old moldy cheese to throw out with the rest of the trash. It's grindhouse trash - that's all this film is to me. I was hoping this was going to be an okay Gothic styled film from the title and the film's poster but it isn't. If you are a fan of grindhouse then you might like this film, if not then I will suggest to you to stay far away from this one.I like some of the cheap cheesy horror films - but this one is far away from my style or should I say type of cheese.1/10

Howard Avedis, better known for directing sleazy erotic thrillers, tries his hand at horror and does a rather decent job. He gets plenty help from a capable cast (with a few notable exceptions) and screenwriter Marlene Schmidt, who appeared in a few of his earlier films. MORTUARY follows the life of tortured college girl Mary McDonough whose father was killed in an unfortunate accident. Mary seems to be the only person who thinks her old man was murdered and when her jockish bore of a boyfriend spots her mother at a seance, he feels Mary's mommy (Lynda Day George) may be a bit of a Satanist.The film's title comes from the place where much of the shady doings and bumps in the night occur--the local mortuary. Lynda Day George attends seances there because the head of her cult is Christopher George, the mortuary manager. He is grooming his son, Bill Paxton, who has more than a schoolboy crush on Mary, to take over the family business. The boy seems too preoccupied with chasing Mary around and embalming hot blonds than taking his job seriously. Thngs begin to stir up when a cloaked figure begins chasing Mary around. Mary thinks her father's killer is coming to finish off the family.STORY: $$$ (Marlene Schmidt pens a slightly better than average script here. There are some plot turns and some nifty devices but nothing too influential. One of the main questions the script puts forth is what Lynda is doing at these bizarre cloaked rituals. Is she trying to communicate with the dead or is she Satan's slave? Marlene's script could have played with Lynda's cult a little more to add to the suspense, but the suspense really wasn't lacking. This was a rather good screenplay--B-Rate horror standards).ACTING: $$$ (The acting is pretty good all the way around, with the notable exception of the blond jock that played Mary McDonough's boyfriend. The guy wasn't convincing and seemed clueless as to what to do on screen when he didn't have any lines. It's no shock that I haven't seen that guy in anything else. Mary McDonough is fine in the lead building a sympathetic character and Chritopher George and his real life wife Lynda Day are fine as always in their supporting roles. Lynda gets to play a more sassy role; quite in contrast to her more delicate female roles in flicks like ANTS. But the movie belongs to Bill Paxton who slam dunks his role of a socially awkward mortuary attendant. It was quite clear that Mr. Paxton was well on his way to bigger and better things).NUDITY: $$$ (Since this was helmed by Howard "Let's See Some Boobs" Avedis, there is a sprinkling on nudity throughout the film. Paxton embalms a pretty blond early in the film and Mary McDonough has a romp with her boyfriend before her extended nude scene in which Paxton plans to embalm her. The buxom Lynda Day George keeps herself under wraps but does offer some titillation with a lowcut nightgown that displays the type of cleavage all men wish their wives had).

ARC, Artists Releasing Corporation, stands behind yet another film from the early '80's as a distribution company. These were the same guys responsible for releasing 1981's Incubus followed up by another Slasher in 1982 entitled Pieces (aka Mil gritos tiene la noche). This title falls in line with the familiar Slasher recipe, one of which you've seen quite often.The story opens with two friends, Greg and Josh, that travel to the local mortuary; a point of employment before Josh was unexpectedly fired. While breaking and entering, the two men notice a strange ritual taking place in the lower levels of the establishment. The two are eventually separated long enough for Josh to be brutally murdered by the hands of a black-hooded fiend who dons white facial powder and black makeup. Greg quickly escapes and notices his van, which is parked outside, drive off; causing him to believe that Josh left without him. He manages to escape with the help of his girlfriend, Christie Parson, who is still mourning the supposed accidental death of her father. The young couple attempt to fit the pieces of the puzzle together by inspecting overlooked details. Periodically they are met by the mortuary owner's son, Paul Andrews (a 28-year-old Bill Paxton). Paul has an obvious crush on Christie but due to his awkward disposition and banal persona he is denied outright. With various clues to throw you off the beaten path you are left to decide the identity of the killer along with his modus operandi.In my opinion, there are two different types of Slasher films. The first and most common would be the "whodunit" film where the murderer plays a role in the group that's methodically killed during the course of the story. Usually the audience is led down false channels to divert their attention of who the killer really is. The motive is usually jealousy or rejection but almost always caused by psychotic tendencies. The second type of Slasher film involves more of a rudimentary approach; a crazed, anonymous individual is on the loose, savagely butchering the "fish in the barrel" as it were, until finally a plot detail is uncovered and some connection can be drawn. Of all the Slasher films I've seen (I've seen over 25 from the 1980's alone), these formulas, sometimes even a combination of the two, are almost always represented in some way or another. Mortuary adheres to the first equation I mentioned: a group of actors are introduced, certain characters show up at convenient times, and the true villain is revealed.One of the biggest problems with Mortuary is that it starts off well enough by building a dash of suspense and intrigue; a well done approach and clever contrivance that'll serve as a platform for merriment rather than sensory detainment. Okay...so why is this a problem? Well, it's not long before the film starts loosing momentum and the competent devices aforementioned start abandoning ship faster than the crew of a sinking vessel. This occurs instantly when Mortuary decides to take it upon itself to reveal the killer halfway through the story, ruining the shocking outcome you were hoping for. As the sub-title of my review indicates, Mortuary attempts to seduce you with its impressive-looking box art but unfortunately the story doesn't play up to what you'd expect. In fact, you'd be doing yourself a great service if you choose not to even acknowledge the artwork and that's a sad state of affairs coming from me. Unfortunately, you're here on IMDb and undoubtedly examined it anyway, thus rendering my warning useless and all for naught. The presentation and graphical layout of a film's box art is essential to all movie-goers; the experience is not exclusive to fans of the horror genre. I believe that since this genre can be credited with visual expressiveness more than 50% of the time the accurate depiction of the film via artwork is a crucial step in forming our first impression. Shame on you Mortuary! Your adept use of artistry on the front cover holds dominion over our judgement! How dare you!In closing, I thought it'd be decent of me to rate Mortuary fairly. Although I chose not to discuss in explicit detail the musical score, it's wonderful and a joy to listen to. It's a prime example of what a suspenseful chiller should employ to elevate or enhance the apprehensive sequences that follow. The acting just simply "gets the job done" along with an above-average lighting approach that heavily compliments a rich set construction. If the portions discussed precendently chose to pan out differently I may have loved this film - sadly, it's quite content on subsisting in the mid-ranged array of films that comprise my vault of horror.