The film is about a crazy queen and her equally insane son who are trying to wipe out an entire Japanese clan in order to please their evil god. You see, like most evil gods, this one wants the blood of innocents and can also keep these two freaks alive by bathing in blood as well. Nice folks, eh? Anyway, almost the entire clan is wiped out except for a young princess who is aided by eight samurai--though because of lousy translating, often the film calls them "ninja" (they are definitely NOT the same). In the end, it's the standard good versus evil final showdown and the film is filled with explosions, blood, magic and more explosions.This movie is obviously NOT one you'll mistake for an Akira Kurosawa flick, as it is loud, silly and far from subtle. I knew I was in trouble when I saw that this was an English-dubbed film and not the original Japanese version. My apprehension increased when the film began, as very tacky American disco music blared on my TV screen. Yecch! As for the rest of the film, while the fight scenes were well done and the movie was entertaining, it was a silly and over-the-top effort filled with giant millipedes, snakes, magic crystals and demons. It's best with a film like this just to turn off your brain and enjoy. If you question what you're seeing or think too much, your brain might just explode!

SPOILERS AHEAD! You have been warned!Much of what I could say about this movie has already been said by other reviewers, with some minor exceptions.Story elements -- for example, turning the group of captive women into magic temptresses with poisonous breath -- get introduced and then dropped, or brought back for a few seconds' cameo at best (the poisonous women turn out quite pathetic, achieving only one kill among them). Also, if you've seen this movie and watched the scene where the entire backstory is explained via scroll, you will know what I mean when I say: whatever happened to the dog? The reincarnated princess gets her father's lightsaber, I mean her predecessor's flute, but the dog puts in no reappearance as a dog or as a human (unless I missed something very subtle about either Hiroyuki Sanada's or Sonny Chiba's characters)... and he was, shall we say, rather important to the original princess. And although the tragic female ribbon dancer/swordfighter (far classier than her descendant, O-Ren Ishii) gets relatively little screen time, it's still more than the later additions to the group get in terms of character development or backstory, which is practically none. Chiba doesn't even get one line of clichéd surprise that two of the crystal-holders are a woman and a young boy. I can only conclude that the movie was written and edited under the same sort of chemical influence required to fully enjoy it.I also believe that Sanada must have had a clause in his contract requiring his thighs to be on display at all times. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) Indeed, in one scene he falls to the ground unconscious, and Chiba slings him over his shoulder and carries him toward the camera. Sanada's butt and thighs occupy the center of shot for a surprisingly long time before the director cuts away. So there are indeed redeeming moments in this movie. (Another is when the group has defeated the giant centipede demon, which had approached them disguised as an old woman, and one of the samurai astutely remarks, "THAT wasn't your mother!") A sidenote: as much as the movie borrows from Lucas, which is quite a lot, he seems to have borrowed back from it for aspects of the Star Wars prequel trilogy. The demon matriarch's headgear wouldn't look a bit out of place on Queen Amidala in "The Phantom Menace," and Lucas does the dropped-story-element (midichlorians, anyone?) and underdeveloped-character (wuxia master Ray Park as Darth Maul; the assorted villains -- Jango Fett, Count Dooku, General Grievous; most of the Jedi Council) routines like a master.One point for having Sonny Chiba in it (there are other elements in this movie that show up in "Kill Bill," in whose first volume Chiba has a small honorific role). One point for Hiroyuki Sanada's butt. One point for strong female characters. One point for the interesting sociological fact that apparently, evil undead demon clans have no incest taboos. (It is, however, a mystery to me why the matriarch is attracted to her son, who is sort of the medieval Japanese Jame Gumb.) Minus several million for the soundtrack. I found myself devoutly hoping that the writer and singer of those godawful pop ballads would be crushed in the destruction of the castle.

SATOMI HAKKENDEN (Literally `Satomi (Clan) Eight Dog (Samurai) Legend') is a silly yet enjoyable romp that is a true guilty pleasure for Japanese Action Movie fans, mixing elements of Fantasy, Romance, Adventure and Traditional Samurai Drama (Chambara).Inspired by the massive 106 Volume, 1814 epic Japanese novel `Nanso Satomi Hakkenden,' by Takizawa (Kyokutei) Bakin, SATOMI HAKKENDEN attempts to modernize and reinterpret the legend of the Eight `Dog' Heroes of the Satomi Clan of Awa Province, whose Princess Fume upon her tragic death gives birth to the Hakkenshi (Eight Samurai) whose spirits are reincarnated in human form carrying mystic crystal beads signifying the virtues of Confucianism (Jin-Sympathy, Gi=Duty/Justice, Rei=Proper Form, Chi=Wisdom, Chuu=Loyalty, Shin=Faith, Kou=Filial Piety, and Tei=Brotherly Affection).Shizu (Yakushimaru, Hiroko) is a descendent of Princess Fume and is being hunted by the sinister forces of the Hikita Clan, whose Black Magic wielding, Lady Tamazusa (Natsuki, Mari) needs Shizu's blood to give herself eternal beauty (somewhat Snow White-like). Enter the Hakkenshi who attempt to protect Shizu from Tamazusa's minions and her Black Magic spawned threats. During the course of their adventures, Shizu falls in love with one of her protectors, the wild-child Shinbei (Sanada, Hiroyuki) who just so happens to be the bastard son of Lady Tamazusa.1980's `Super Producer', Hiroyuki Kadokawa and legendary maverick director Kinji Fukusaku team-up once again to bring together this loud, Special-Effects laden spectacular with mixed results. The action is superb, compliments to Chiba, Shinichi (aka J.J./Sonny Chiba), Shiomi, Etsuko (aka Sue Shiomi) and the rest of the Japan Action Club and their unique blend of swordplay and martial arts action. Much time is spent on the romance between Shizu and Shinbei. At the time Yakushimaru was the darling of Japanese Cinema, having just come off of her Box Office smash hit `Sailor Fuku Tou Kikanju' (Sailor Dress and Machinegun) and Kadokawa wastes little time exploiting her new found popularity. Yet, the story is slow at times and often confusing as a parade of characters march past the screen. Characterization for the Hakkenshi is almost non-existent, save for their stereotypical attributes (the staunch leader, the brooding androgynous samurai, the mysterious warrior princess, the tall and silent muscleman, the token kid and the `bad-guy' turned `good guy').SATOMI HAKKENDEN is a pure `popcorn' movie for the teenage set.

more of an RPG movie with each of 8 samurais as RPG characters in a role playing games. each one has their own story and own ending. the fights are great...story is your typical rpg game...princess seeks out 8 samurai to help her destroy evil people....everything's great. the fights...they are great too. especially the one where this man was fighting off everybody in this patio while white (cherry?)blossoms are falling down. one thing.... special effects... kind of corny...but if you can look past the special effects and you're the type of RPG fanatics...this is the movie for you