The one thing I did like about this was what everybody else hated... that there was no obvious good guy! That's what I loved when I first saw it at 7yrs old, and that's what I love now... all the 50's spectacle and nonsense, glamour and spangles, without the very 'disturbingly obvious' one faceted good guy.I found these silly people with their silly dialogues more real, as a consequence, even at that tender age.And I always was attracted to the macabre and gruesome, so the ending was perfect for me; I found it totally satisfying at the time. So much so, that I remembered the film and it's title for many years, after other, more polished films had faded.Silliness on a grand scale, and yet there is quite a dose of REAL flavour in there.

Undoubtedly, "Land of the Pharaohs" is likely overlooked when film buffs consider what constitutes Howard Hawks's best work. It's rather giggle inducing when one thinks about the utter miscasting of most of the actors, and the utter silliness of so many lines. But that doesn't necessarily mean that it's a bad film. On the contrary, it's actually exquisitely made, on an obviously very impressive budget. Hawks and company work with literally thousands of extras in some scenes, and the production design and CinemaScope photography are among the best one will see for this genre.Jack Hawkins plays an Egyptian pharaoh named Khufu, who wants to be extremely prepared for his "second" life. He desires the perfect pyramid to be built to house his body and his plethora of treasures obtained from war. He learns that one of his current prisoners, Vashtar (James Robertson Justice), is an experienced architect, and indeed Vashtar comes up with some ingenious ideas for crafting an impregnable fortress. Meanwhile, Khufu obtains himself wife # 2, a young princess named Nellifer (Joan Collins). And she's a greedy and conniving person who stops at nothing to get what she wants."Land of the Pharaohs" may be a challenge for some people to take seriously, but technically it really is well made, and it's consistently entertaining. Also in the cast are Dewey Martin as Vashtars' son Senta, Alexis Minotis as Khufu's loyal high priest Hamar, Sydney Chaplin as the traitorous Treneh, and James Hayter as Vashtars' friend Mikka. These people all do the very best that they can, but it's the ravishing young Collins who tends to steal the show - and whom the audience is likely to remember the most.Among the heaviest assets that this can boast are Dimitri Tiomkins' rousing music score, the cinematography by Lee Garmes & Russell Harlan, the art direction by Alexandre Trauner. and the various costumes (especially those worn by Collins). Viewers may also get a big kick out of the fairly grim twist ending.Seven out of 10.

Land Of The Pharaohs will go down in cinema history as Howard Hawks's attempt to out DeMille, the great Cecil B. in DeMille's own territory of cast of thousands spectacle. Hawks got a rather mixed reception for his film in that regard.In its way Land Of The Pharaohs is as campy a film as any DeMille ever gave us even without the arcane writing that typifies a DeMille product. Jack Hawkins as Pharaoh Khufu is the ruler that stretched Egypt's hegemony over its widest area and he's decided that he's going to have the biggest tomb around to symbolize his glory. To design such a tomb he drafts James Robertson Justice who is an architect among the prisoners of a recently conquered people. In a package deal Hawkins gets the son as well who grows up to be Dewey Martin and who during the course of the film incurs a big debt from Hawkins.The biggest problem in this film is that ultimately the subject of the film is ego and vanity. Hawkins with his bloody conquest and his desire to have a monument to stand for all time to his ego and vanity is just not a terribly sympathetic figure. But he's positively heroic to the vixenish young Joan Collins who starts out as a Cyprian princess given to Hawkins in return for tribute of a few thousand bushels of wheat. Right there Hawkins should have sent the baggage packing, trophy concubines he can get anywhere, but that grain was to feed his army of workers on that tomb.Once in the palace, Collins starts intriguing in her best Alexis Carrington manner, but she gets a rather fitting fate in the end.Land Of The Pharaohs does have some nice crowd scenes that DeMille might have envied. Some of the best scenes show the ancient methods of construction of the tomb with nice Dimitri Tiomkin music accompanying.But story and characters are the base of a really good film and Jack Hawkins is not a heroic Khufu by any means.

What's that, Joan Collins? You want all my pharaoh's treasure? Here you go, sweetheart, take the key to the vault. You want my wristwatch? I got 37 bucks in my wallet that ain't doing nuthin'. Take it, pretty girl. I love you, Joan.Joan Collins is hot as the new princess in town in this episodic costume drama which horribly miscasts Jack Hawkins as the big wheel of these particular pyramids. It takes awhile, but he finally gets gutted, though he dies rather slowly.... hey Jack, will you drop dead already? I would have pushed him into some quicksand at the earliest opportunity. A long and mostly boring film, the ending totally sucks.As for Joan... Hey beautiful! Wanna wear my crown and be Pharaoh? I'll kiss your feet, Joan - and anything else you want me to kiss.