Divorcée Susan Jeremy goes to a local Los Angeles county hospital for a routine exam.After being told to go to several different clinical offices, finds herself stranded there while a maniac, dressed in a doctor's surgical mask and clothing, goes around killing all the staff associated with her. Could it possibly be the psycho Harold, who killed a friend of Susan's on Valentine's Day 19 years earlier.........Cannon horror movies. One could say that all movies distributed by this glorious company were 'horrors', but for me, they were the epitome of the eighties, and released some brilliantly bonkers movies throughout that decade.And here, it's bonkers business as usual, just not brilliantly bonkers.Firstly, you have to throw comprehension out of the window, followed closely by happenstance, and actuality.Then you have to believe that out of all of the hospitals that Susan goes to, the boy from the flashback sequence works there, and happens to be a doctor, and is working that particular day.It's a slasher movie, with the old 'when we were young, I dismissed a valentine card from the local weirdo, and he killed my friend' trope, and go from there.The acting is decidedly dodgy, there is a sub-plot involving her ex looking after her child that never gets elaborated, and everyone in the first ten minutes has such shifty eyes, you'd think that Davidson went to an opticians for the casting call.It's a poor movie for sure, but it's still fun in that dodgy Cannon way.The victims find themselves in the strangest of situations, and the killer even uses a bed sheet to chase someone down a corridor.Funny, but for all the wrong reasons.An essential bad movie.
... View MoreThe plot centers around Susan, when she was a young girl she rejected a boy who sent her a valentines card and then the boy kills her brother and then years later Susan arrives at a local hospital for a rountine check up unaware that someone dressed up as a surgeon is killing off docters and nurses and is hell bent on keeping Susan trapped for his own personal revenge.Well a slasher set in a hospital is certainly different, kind of an odd setting, but in my opinion it's no different from other slasher movies during this era, The movie is quite slow and even though it has its good moments.I ultimately didn't think that this was anything special. If it would only have settled with being a basic slasher movie this would probably have been a whole lot more entertaining but instead they tried to make it into a mystery thriller which just doesn't work. You couldn't care less about Susan's decease and there just doesn't seem like there was a lot of heart put into making this movie. All in all, not a bad movie but not great, could have been a lot better and a little far fetched, I mean how come no one notices that doctors and nurses are getting killed off in a big hospital as well.
... View MoreWhen the Valentine's Day card he sends to pretty Susan Jeremy is greeted with laughter and derision, young Harold loses the plot and impales Susan's playmate on a hat-stand. Nineteen years later, a now fully grown Susan (played by Playboy playmate Barbi Benton) attends a hospital appointment only to find a still-rather-obsessed Harold waiting there to try and steal her heart once again—only this time, he intends to do it literally with a variety of nasty surgical implements!!Chock full of ridiculous red-herrings and annoying false scares, and displaying zero originality from start to finish, Boaz Davidson's Hospital Massacre is a derivative piece of slasher garbage that, at times, is so daft that it unintentionally borders on parody.In the prologue, Susan is seen brandishing a large knife, only to reveal that she is about to cut a cake; later, what looks like blood drips onto Susan's shoe but which turns out to be ketchup; an unscheduled lift stop on a deserted floor results in Susan being startled by men in masks, who are then revealed to be fumigating the level; and a human shape under a sheet turns out to be a mannequin: Hospital Massacre is absolutely littered with such dumb contrivances that really grate on the nerves.Also serving to irritate are Susan's inability to keep quiet when being stalked by the killer (she drops her lighter, knocks over reports, and clatters metal instruments at the most inopportune moments), the complete absence of any other people when the murderer strikes, the ridiculous manner in which the hospital staff treat their patients (can anyone say 'lawsuit'?), and the score, which mimics not only Harry Manfredini's music from Friday the 13th (which is understandable, I suppose), but also Jerry Goldsmith's choral chanting from The Omen (???!?!).On the plus side, there's the occasional spot of reasonable gore (including a severed head in a box, an axe in the head and a pointed thingy through the neck), an enjoyably exploitative moment where Miss Benton strips to her panties for an unnecessary all-over examination by a pervy doctor, and one incredible, must-be-seen-to-be-believed scene in which Susan runs into a room full of people covered from head-to-toe in plaster who all proceed to flail their limbs in an uncontrollable manner. Weird.
... View More"Hospital Massacre" is a pretty low aiming shot in the mid 1980's slasher stakes, and it has so many crappy moments in it that you should have a good laugh while watching it. Basically, glamour model Barbi Benton plays Susan Jeremy, a woman who pops into hospital for some routine test results only to find that she can't get out again. This is because a maniac with a serious grudge against her is blocking all escape routes and won't stop until he gets what he wants!Now let me say that the film isn't all bad, but what really doesn't work is the hilarious implausibility of the "situation" that Susan finds herself in. As soon as the killer knows she is in the hospital, he plants some bogus test results in her file, and from this point onwards all the other hospital staff treat Susan like a dangerous and/or mentally deranged powder keg who must be detained at all costs. Thus we see a perfectly normal woman forced into straps and restraints, slammed into locked wards, subjected to humiliating examinations and, of course, in between all that she's being pursued by a masked killer. Now the film makes quite good use of the hospital location for some good murders, but this supposed inescapability I just did not swallow. Anyway, for even more fun, let me list a few of the really outrageous goofs this film thinks it can get away with. Susan actually leaves her boyfriend in the car waiting while she pops into the hospital for "a few minutes". Amazingly, several hours go by and darkness falls before he even comes to look for her! Next watch out for a side-splitting scene when Susan hides behind a portable screen on wheels just inches away from the killer. Watch as she drops a lighter on the floor and retrieves it with her foot while the killer stares right at the screen without out seeing anything. The screen even has about 12" of space below it where Susan's legs can clearly be seen. Oh sorry she also pulls the material aside to peer through the screen at him, and he doesn't see that either. Next watch for the notorious examination scene where Susan is stripped naked and felt up all over by a doctor in a supposedly sinister fashion. NO WAY would this ever be tolerated or handled in such a sleazy manner in a real hospital. Plus, save your breath for the scene in which a fleeing Susan bursts into a room full of patients in traction, who all spring to life and writhe their tethered, bandaged bodies around like it's a scene from some kind of purgatory. Why? I don't know. There's no reason at all for this shot, expect to put something bizarre to look at into the running time.I'll say this though, Barbi Benton is not bad in the role of Susan. She screams well enough and is attractive to look at throughout. Shame that the script gives her so many stupid, dumb things to do and never once is there a moment when she decides to just leave the building (it's not a prison, fer crying out loud).Luckily the murders are pretty good fun and the general looniness of the whole thing definitely makes it fun. Just forget logic and you'll enjoy it.
... View More