The tens of millions lost by this box office bust set back the careers of stars Alec Baldwin, Eric Roberts and Teri Hatcher a few years, but also proved that if you are going to make a crime thriller, it helps to put in a few actual thrills, or maybe come up with a plot that makes some sense. The story probably worked in its first draft, but the meandering, almost random string of events in the movie give the impression of a script that underwent too many re-writes. Plus, it's filled with unsavory types who all seem to be running some twisted game, but instead of combining these threads together the script just lets them hang. The viewer spends too much time trying to recall who is up to what and then when nothing comes of it all, gives up interest. The movie also tries early on for a hothouse Southern Gothic atmosphere, but fails to generate it, thanks to too much time wasted on Eric Roberts' character's boxing obsession, and the fact that Hatcher's femme fatale act is played out too sparingly and seems unrelated to anything until it's too late for the audience to care. Baldwin's central performance is not very interesting and it is never clear whether we should sympathize with him or just hang around waiting to see if he gets whacked. Kelly Lynch is apparently in the movie too, but her character seems superfluous and sketchy, as if her part was at some point cut way down. The result is an incomplete performance that again fails to generate much interest. This pretty much sums up the movie. An attractive cast of good actors hang around expensive southern plantation sets posturing with one another and it all just fails to go anywhere. No wonder it flopped. It's not awful, but nothing here really works at all.

Heaven's Prisoners (1996) ** 1/2 (out of 4) Former New Orleans detective Dave Robicheaux is forced into retirement after accidentally killing three people. While all of this was going on Dave was also suffering from an alcohol problem, which nearly cost him his life. Two years after retirement he and his wife Annie (Kelly Lynch) move to the Bayou where they open up a bait shop and seem to be living the perfect life. One day while the couple are out on the Bayou a plane crashes nearby their boat. Dave grabs the scuba gear and goes to the sunken plane where he saves a young Mexican girl.Dave and Annie take the young girl to the hospital where they tell the officials that the child is there's and she was in a simple boating accident. The couple takes the young girl back to their place where they plan on raising her but one day Dave gets a visit from DEA officer. The officer informs Dave that the plane crash wasn't an accident but a murder plot, which Dave has messed up. For some unknown reason he goes to visit a former friend turned stripper (Mary Stuart Masterson) who in return leads him to another former friend turned gangster Bubba Rocque (Eric Roberts). Dave is also introduced to Bubba's former prostitute wife (Teri Hatcher) who seems to have plans outside of her husband's affairs. Not only this but we get another mob boss and three hit men all involved in this mystery, which must be solves by Dave so he can keep the child he rescued.Heaven's Prisoners is based on the novel by James Lee Burke and while I haven't read this I've heard it's a lot better than the actual movie. The film is an interesting mis-fire, which is so incredibly stupid that one will want to stick through the whole thing just to see how much dumber things can get. The plot is full of so many wholes it's really hard to know what the director or screenwriters were going for. At first it appears to be a political thriller and then we get a Charles Bronson wannabe side plot, which just adds to all the confusion. I mentioned a few of the characters involved in all of this but there are actually more that pop in and out of the movie.I knew the film was in a lot of trouble within the first ten minutes. After the plane crashes the couple leaves the accident with the child. Within minutes they are at the hospital where they tell everyone that this child is their daughter, although the kid doesn't speak a bit of English. The people in charge are stupid enough to buy all these excuses thrown at them but what I don't understand is why this couple would just take this girl. Perhaps had the screenplay shown them talking about it they could have convinced me but this doesn't happen. We go from a plane crash to them taking the child for no reason, which just leads to more mindless subplots.Alec Baldwin is an actor I've always enjoyed watching but this here has got to be the worst job in his career. This wannabe character drama is so badly acted by Baldwin that you can't help but laugh when the film is trying to make you feel sorry for him. We get a lot of scenes of him crying but It's so badly done we can't help but laugh. The tough guy cop attitude that Baldwin brings is also very laughable. Worst of all is that incredibly bad Southern accent, which goes in and out throughout the film. Eric Roberts gives a wonderful performance however and he's one of the few reasons to actually sit through this film. Teri Hatcher got a Razzie nomination for Worst Actress and I'm rather shocked she didn't win. Bad acting aside, her infamous full frontal nude scene is worth the price of a rental.Heaven's Prisoners is a very bad movie yet it thankfully gets laughable, which makes it easier to watch. Running over two hours the film certainly could have used some editing or a longer running time. There's just so many plot holes that I can't help but think the screenplay lost a few pages and the director simply forgot to film the scenes. Imagine reading a book yet only reading every other chapter. By the time you read the end of the book you'll have many unanswered questions and that's how the movie made me feel.

I found this movie so full of holes I am actually motivated to come and write a review. In the very first scene, Dave and his wife witness the plane crash and call it in, rescue a girl and take her home to raise as their own. 1. Why would you leave the scene when you have clearly stated your boats name and location and are a known witness to the accident. 2. Even if the girls mother has clearly died in the accident, do you not think she may have relatives, maybe even in your area? How dare this couple think she will be theirs? 3. They name her after Dave's mother. The girl is about 7 years old and clearly speaks Spanish in the hospital. A verbal girl should be called by her given name, not some name that I don't even recognize in English! This was in the first 10 minutes of the movie, but for me, the movie continued with as many loopholes that just made this painful to watch. I can't comment on the ending because I didn't stick with it.

I guess you could call this a "neo-noir," which is a modern-day film noir. It has that atmosphere, especially in New Orleans which seems to always been pictured on the seamy side in films. After the devastation that took place there last year, perhaps filmmakers will kinder to the city in future movies. Anyway, a seedy New Orleans, some good blues music and five varied-and-all interesting lead characters make this a very watchable movie. Alec Baldwin, Kelly Lynch, Teri Hatcher, Mary Stuart Masterston and Eric Roberts all contribute with good performances All but Roberts are the "good guys" in this one.The movie keeps your attention and has you involved for most of the two hours. The action is well-dispersed. My only complaint is a small one: Baldwin with the southern accent doesn't sound natural. Otherwise, a good modern-day crime story.