What a horrible waste of perfectly well-crafted set designs. What an even worse waste of Robert Patrick, who was menacing and even cool two years prior to this film's release with Terminator 2.Coherency and smarts are not what I look for with these types of movies. I look for something fun, something that's both enjoyable and interesting enough to hold my attention. Aside from the creative locations and punk/sci-fi atmosphere, there isn't much good I can say about this movie. The characters suck. Some of them are even obnoxious, made even more annoying by their crappy acting skills. The fights are lame, as is the story and its execution. It's too simplistic and too lazy for it to work. This movie is a monster truck that tries to do high energy on a quarter-tank of gas. The result is disastrous.It's not the worst debut film for a new director I've ever seen, but it's close.

One of my favourite childhood games gets the typical nineties Hollywood makeover and only just entertains for all the wrong reasons!Set in the future, well, if our year of 2007 really turned out like this, in the city of New Angeles. With vehicles powered by burning rubbish, police curfews, buildings held up by jacks, and lots of colourful clothes and bad jeans, we enter the god awful world of James Yukich's Double Dragon.In a nutshell - Embarrassing acting from most cast members, all but Dacascos, Wolf and Nickson, that only adds to the unintentional humour, terrible make-up, costumes and direction. Its only saving grace is its two gorgeous leading men who give us some decent fight scenes and a number of funny enough one liners!In my opinion - Hollywood, oh Hollywood... For many years you have astounded us with your inability to chose directors that know what they are doing, that suit the project in action, or generally just can't stop ruining great things! Taking a documentary film maker and handing him one of the ultimate and most popular games of that time, should have been the first sign to the studio fat cats that this was going to be as much of a success as the previous years, Super Mario Bros.Haunted by that typical mid nineties costume department that helped make a lot of then films look naff, there is pretty much nothing in this 90 minutes of madness that stays true to the game. Every extra looks ridiculous and is annoying as hell, with most of it playing out like some bastard child from a Power Rangers episode!Is there anything good in Double Dragon I hear you ask? Well, yes if I'm honest. Both its leading men are absolutely gorgeous and perfect leading men material for such a film. They probably act the best out of everyone, and Scott manages to hold his own in the fight scenes alongside the always incredible Mark Dacascos. It is only a shame though that Hollywood executives thought this would be the best film to introduce Mark as a leading man, instead of his classic Crying Freeman which went unreleased in the US for many years!Double Dragon has its moments. It just makes me so angry to see such a great thing wasted, and another case of what could have been if it was in the right hands. In one scene, the spinach feeding scene, the actor in terrible make-up states, 'I'm not acting...'Never a truer word said.

The most fascinating aspect of the human brain is memory. For instance having seen this movie, my brain did not remember what I saw. I would have to watch this piece of sh*t movie again in order to access those memories. Do you think I would go through the effort to remember? No, I would not. If you have seen The Doubled Dragoons then you know why I am never going to try to see this movie again. On a personal note, I like to thank my brain for forgetting. I don't need to remember this movie or what happens, its my gift to myself. Now, let's spend the remaining characters required for a submission talking about something pleasant like pizza. I like pepperoni, it's classic, if I could only eat one kind of pizza for the rest of my life, it's pepperoni.

Movie critics hold up Double Dragon (DD) as a beacon of what-not-to-do when it comes to motion pictures, but I'm going to explain exactly why they're wrong, and DD is a bastion of film-making legend.Overall: Along with a couple B-list celebrity cameos and a helluva lot of tongue- in-cheek comedy, DD delivers many a humorous scenario with lovable, over the top characters. A product of its time, an overtly obvious wit and subtle charm accompany a glorious 90's soundtrack.The Future: While the predictions of the 1994 movie fall far short of how the future actually played out, this time capsule offers an excellent view of what would happen if LA Street Gangs got a hold of virtual-reality technology integrated into their leviathan-esque vehicles. Other: Also the portrayal of the right-wing stance on gang culture is phenomenal. Use of puns by gang members added to the realism, and therefore the viewer's immersion.Double Dragon: The double dragon medallion is a symbol of the duality of the soul, the struggle each man and woman must cope with from the day they are born: the duality of being an invincible, unstoppable ghost; or not.Combat: The fighting style is unique and original, and many scenes require the fighters to improvise with any object they find around. For example, one scene shows a protagonist fighting an enemy with a broom, showing the person has immense versatility as a warrior. One protagonist, Annoying Italian Guy #1, is so moving with his power and speed that I would go so far as to call his fighting style "Poetry of the Fist". Random Asian Henchman #2's incredible ability to take multiple kicks to the face was a nice touch as well.Cross-dimensional similarities: The realism between the fictional Power Corp bears striking similarities to Al Qaeda, in that they are both called terrorists at one point or another, and they are both phallic entities of almost incredulous enormity. A good amount of dialogue is puns that reference other movies and indulge in intertextuality. Dialogue: The only way to describe the dialogue and punchlines in this movie, would be: brave. Seriously, these writers must need wheelbarrows to carry their 200-pound man-berries in.SFX: This movie was incredibly eye-catching from the get-go, but what kept my attention was the time that was clearly spent on the special effects. So compelling was the detail and smoothness it flowed with that I was almost moved to tears.Final thoughts: This movie is a masterpiece - an emotional, action- packed, thought-provoking thrill ride that no self-respecting human being should miss. People will be watching, enjoying, and writing essays about this film for years to come.A+ and 10/10, would see again and recommend to friends.