A young man gets out of a mental institution and returns home to his wealthy father, his beloved cat "Sampson", and his sexy but wicked stepmother (Sybil Danning), the latter of whom may have murdered his mother and is scheming with the shady chauffeur (Mel Novak) to do the same to his father.God knows this is not a good movie. Nor does it even fall into that almost mythical category of "so bad, it's good", but I found it entertaining because it is so randomly plotted and jaw-droppingly incompetent that it seems to violate the very laws of cinematic narrative structure (and perhaps even Cartesian logic). I think the cat "Sampson" is supposed to be a metaphor because he completely disappears about halfway through the movie. Or maybe the cat is a metaphysical incarnation of the protagonist's equally disturbed brother who shows up out of nowhere halfway through the film (just in time for an overlong 70's style car chase). Or maybe the feline actor just walked off the set prompting a quick re-write--it's kind of hard to say.Mel Novak is pretty good actually, and Sybil Danning...well, she takes her clothes off a lot. Both of them exit prematurely, however, and the film is left in the hands of uncharismatic male lead and Colleen Camp, who is normally a talented actress but plays a completely superfluous character here (although she DOES get to belt out the risible theme song). This is definitely a one-of-a-kind movie; maybe not the good kind, but. ..

From his alleged 1963 comedy House of Sand to his latest film, the ultra-low budget horror 1996 Werewolf, the relentlessly self-promoting Iranian auteur Tony Zarindast has garnered an unenviable reputation of being the Ed Wood of our time. Like Wood, Zarindast directs, writes, produces and often stars in his own films. Also like Wood, none of Zarindast's films show even the slightest iota of cinematic competence.Cat In The Cage is the turgid story of the dysfunctional Khan family. Bruce Khan gets out of the squirrel factory just in time to greet daddy Rashid and his new wife Susan, returning to the family manse after an around-the-world jaunt. The rest of the story is so amazingly derivative of every B-movie melodrama made before 1950 that the only surprising thing is the film wasn't sued out of existence moments after it hit the theaters.

Please refer to the other well-reasoned reviews here for the details of this weird effort by unknown filmmaker Tony Zarin Dast. I just have two brief observations. The "surprise" appearance by the protagonist's supposedly-deceased brother would have you believe that he transforms into some sort of were-thing (?). In his two murkily-lensed attacks, he sports extreme facial hair and elongated nails, all the better to slash one of his victims with. In the second killing, he strangles another with a length of chain while grunting and groaning like a wild animal.The last observation I have is actually a question...what ever happened to Tony Zarin Dast, where did he come from, where did he get his financing? There are previews at the end of my OOP video for ANOTHER of his films, "The Guns and The Glory" which appears to be an action/adventure about oil wars starring Peter Graves and Cameron Mitchell.

Lured in by an intriguing title and cover art, along with the presence of a couple of my favorite cult actresses (Sybil Danning and Colleen Camp), I watched this tape...and was sorely disappointed.This exceptionally muddled thriller focuses on a young man who is convinced that his new stepmother (Sybil Danning), who had been his late mother's nurse, had actually murdered his mother in order to take her place.The son's animosity towards his new family member is shared by his pet cat, who constantly hisses and spits in Sybil's presence. At least, that's what the filmmakers would have us believe...in fact, it's clear that the cat's hissing and growling are dubbed-in sound effects (the cat's mouth is closed the whole time!). Nothing in the cat's body language suggests hostility (no arched back, no fur standing on end)...at times, it even seems affectionate towards its supposed nemesis. Even when Sybil is "attacked" by the cat, it's obvious that she's simply holding the indifferent animal up to her face. Now, it's perfectly understandable if the film's budget didn't allow for an animal trainer, but it really shouldn't be too hard to get a cat angry.The rest of the performances are little better than the cat's. Sybil Danning has proven capable of delivering memorable performances elsewhere, but her shrill, forced hysterics in this movie are simply embarrassing. Frank DeKova, as Danning's wealthy, easy-going husband, fares the best, but has too little to do before being taken out of the picture. Likewise, the talented Colleen Camp is given nothing to work with in her role as the stepson's concerned girlfriend.One final note: One major plot point, the fact that the main character has a brother, is not even mentioned until well over an hour into the movie! Advice to aspiring screenwriters: If you're going to spring a plot twist, you need to lay the foundation much earlier in the movie (just a subtle, casual mention would do) so that it doesn't just seem to come out of nowhere.