Universal Soldier: The Return
Universal Soldier: The Return
R | 20 August 1999 (USA)
Universal Soldier: The Return Trailers

Luc Deveraux, the heroic former Universal Soldier, is about to be thrown into action once again. When SETH, the supercomputer-controlled ultra-warrior, decides to take revenge and destroy its creators, only Luc can stop it. All hell breaks loose as Luc battles SETH and a deadly team of perfect soldiers in a struggle that pits man against machine and good against evil.

Reviews
SnoopyStyle

The Unisol program continues in a government research facility. Luc Deveraux (Jean-Claude Van Damme) is partnered with Maggie to refine the program. A new generation of Unisols are controlled by computer A.I. called S.E.T.H. When the defense budget is cut, the Unisol program is scheduled to close. SETH takes over the facility and uses the Unisols to stop the planned shut down.At least, Van Damme came back. He's a little older and not quite so powerful. He simply isn't the same guy. There is plenty of shooting and plenty of action. However, the movie lacks tension. Despite being crammed with B-movie action, the fun isn't there. The whole thing feels very flat.

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Python Hyena

Universal Soldier: The Return (1999): Dir: Mic Rodger / Cast: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Michael Jai White, Bill Goldberg, Xander Berkeley, Daniel von Bargen: Absolute garbage about soldiers that are half human and half robot but all moron. Their favorite past time seems to be to blast everything in sight. If they were really that desperate then perhaps they should have blasted the set preventing this sh*t from being made. Jean-Claude Van Damme hurls aimlessly in and out of near death situations. His daughter is injured and taken to hospital, which leaves plenty of opportunity for bad guys to invade and get their asses kicked. Mic Rodger does an uninspiring job directing this mess. I have seen children create better art out of their own snot than the special effects given here. Van Damme fights and that pretty much sums up his contribution. Michael Jai White plays what seems to be a human form of Hal from 2001: A Space Odyssey. Unfortunately for him he is in this movie and not that one. Bill Goldberg plays a villain who proves that sticking to wrestling would be great advice for him. Xander Berkeley also appears as if the contribution would some how save the film. Not likely. Easily one of the very worst films of the year, with absolutely no redeeming value. Someone should drop a concrete block on this stupid action film so that we could honestly say that it served some sort of purpose. Score: 0 / 10

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Comeuppance Reviews

Luc Deveraux (Van Damme) returns, but the question is...why? This time around, Luc is just a regular Joe with a daughter, and he's working with a Dr. Cotner (Berkeley) to refine and improve the Universal Soldier project. This is pretty surprising considering how he was treated by the higher-ups in the first movie. Nevertheless, At the base, everything is controlled by a 2001: A Space Odyssey-styled computer called SETH. When the intelligent SETH determines that the government is going to pull his plug, he transfers himself into the body of Michael Jai White and goes hunting for Luc and his daughter. As if that wasn't enough to contend with, Luc also must fend off fellow Unisol (a contraction of the words "Universal Soldier" for those that didn't see the first movie) Romeo (Goldberg). Naturally there's yet another do-nothing female reporter, Erin (Schanz). How will Deveraux get out of this one? Sadly, this sequel to the highly entertaining original is a disappointment. It's a big drop from the first one - it's lifeless and not a crowd-pleaser. While it did receive a theatrical release, surprisingly, it has a chintzy Direct-To-Video look to it. It never inspires confidence when 95% of your movie takes place in one building. Yes, "The Return", as we call it (we refuse to dignify this crud with the Universal Soldier name) is one of THOSE.Even from its silly opening sequence (which naturally involves rockin' jetskis), and throughout its many scenes with terrible music behind them, this movie is trying to be hip and cool, but fails. A great example of this is the character of Squid (Hinkley) - a radically-awesome drinker of Mountain Dew who loves his Frankenberry cereal. And speaking of characters that audiences can't possibly connect with, the choice to cast fitness girl Kiana Tom instead of a proper actress is just odd. But the most glaring casting change involves the complete lack of Dolph Lundgren. Sure, we all love Goldberg, as much as anyone really can, but he's no substitute for the Dolphster. Surely even Mr. Lundgren, who's no stranger to DTV junk, read the script for this and headed for the hills.Not so for Van Damme, who looks tired and disinterested, even as he spouts his one-liners. Does anyone really want to see Luc Deveraux as just some normal dude - with a kid even? Surely a sign of this movie's status as a pale reflection of its forebear is, instead of the robotic monocle the Unisols wear over an eye in the first film, now they just wear Blu-Blocker Bono sunglasses.And while this movie is very dumb, and disjointed, and features some downright embarrassing steals from Demolition Man and Terminator 2, Michael Jai White ALMOST saves the movie. He puts in by far the best performance and seems dedicated to his role as the sinister SETH. But even despite his valiant efforts, he can't overcome the cruddiness within. But on the bright side, a character rides Goldberg down a flight of stairs like a sled. Yes, you read that correctly.The bottom line is, this movie is an obvious cash-in and simply doesn't need to exist. You might think, before watching this, "Yeah! It's a Universal Soldier movie! Cool!" - it's only natural to think that, but unfortunately, this movie doesn't satisfy those expectations.For more insanity, please visit: comeuppancereviews.com

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Yahav

I liked the first movie.Seeing the second totally ruined it though. Horrible cast. Horrible director. No story whatsoever. Bunch of lame actors punching and shooting each other, kids could act better.No matter what, if you read this and plan to rent or download this movie - DON'T DO THAT, for your own sake. You'll just waste over 90 minutes of your life.I know some people like it just for the action but get real.. you have more action in the daily news. No need to waste so much time on this.Believe me, you don't want to learn in the hard way.

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