Bloodsuckers
Bloodsuckers
R | 30 July 2005 (USA)
Bloodsuckers Trailers

A captain leads a team of commandos searching for vampires in the universe.

Reviews
Northside_Donutz

Perhaps I missed the meeting when the meaning of "B-movie" was explained, but what I just saw was ridiculous. You want a good synopsis of this movie? Take Aliens, replace the xenomorphs with vampires, then remove everything that was good about it, and that's pretty much it.5 minutes into the movie, the "V-SAN squad" (that's the dumbest acronym I've ever heard) checks out a "base" thats been massacred by vampires and then they climb down (DOWN? What?) a ladder obviously attached to a billboard with an obvious present day train in the background. When is this supposed to take place? 2210. Okay...(hold on, I'll get back to that)Yeah. the characters. Wow, well there's the token lesbian Asian chick, the redneck cowboy wannabe, the weathered captain, the goth vampire/Hot Topic part-time cashier, and the wussy noob second in command. All of them are played by their respective actors with the same lack of ambition. It almost pained me to see Micheal Ironside in this flick. Isn't he getting enough money being the voice of Sam Fisher in Splinter Cell? Pretty much the only thing original about Vampire Wars is about how bad it is.Watching this afterbirth of a film, the only amusement I got was from the feeble attempts at set-making. Since when does taping PCI computer cards on a wall count as a ready room on a starship? The money required to do this film could have been put to much more better use.

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Claudio Carvalho

In 2210, mankind has explored the space and found a vampiric menace, declaring war against different breeds of vampires some of them inclusive human flesh cannibals. The V-SAN (aka Vampire Sanitation) spaceship leaded by Captain Churchill (Joe Lando) receives a distress call from an Earth base and his team formed by the vampire Quintana (Natassia Malthe), the rookie officer Damian (Dominic Zamprogna) and the rebels Rosa (Leanne Adachi) and Roman (Aaron Pearl) seek survivors and vampires and they rescue the scientist Fiona (A.J. Cook), but Capt. Churchill is captured by the vampires. After their next assignment, the provisional captain Damian and his group disclose that a traitor has disengaged the defense system of the bases and they chase their prime suspect.I like B-movies, but "Bloodsuckers" has very contradictory characters and situations. The story has some potential but the internal fights and argues and contradictions of the V-SAN team have irritated me. The so-called vampires are actually cannibals and have nothing to do with the traditional vampires that suck blood and fear garlic, crosses, holy water and sunlight. The worm vampire is hilarious and one of the funniest moments of this flick. Natassia Malthe recalls Catherine Zeta-Jones and is also extremely gorgeous. This movie seems to be a forgettable television pilot of a series. My vote is five.Title (Brazil): "A Guerra dos Vampiros" ("The War of the Vampires")

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Coventry

Although it really isn't such a terribly movie (especially considering it was made directly for TV-distribution), it'll be very difficult to point out one aspect in "Bloodsuckers" that is actually original or refreshing. Vampires in space isn't exactly a new formula, and even after so many movies dealing with these monsters in this particular setting, still no one seems to realize it's an incredibly stupid premise that can't possibly result in a halfway decent horror movie. "Bloodsuckers" even goes one step further and shamelessly imitates every imaginable motion picture that either revolves on vampires and intergalactic warfare. The plot and characters are mainly stolen directly from John Carpenter's "Ghosts of Mars" and James Cameron's "Aliens", as a crew of futuristic vampire hunters are crusading through space and regularly holding to eliminate a mutated species that peculiarly named themselves after notorious horror icons, like the Voorhees and the Leatherfaces. The good guys are a bunch of pathetic stereotypes, constantly dealing with clichéd issues and endlessly arguing about dreadfully unimportant matters. Captain Damian is the unpopular rookie, who'll really have to prove his leadership capabilities now after being more or less responsible for the death of the previous (and far more loved) Captain Churchill. The other annoying characters include a typical cowboy-style and trigger happy macho pilot, a tough female warrior with more balls than any of the males on board (she's of Asian descent, like the girl in "Aliens" was Latino) and the army's most valuable secret weapon: a Blade-girl! Quintana is a beautiful and deadly vampire who chose the side of humans. She can spot enemies when they're still light-years away and she can also do wickedly sexy things with someone's wet dreams. They eventually all learn to work as a team when forced to face the ultimate vampire-meanie: Michael Ironside (in yet another downgrading role). "Bloodsuckers" is an irredeemably stupid film, but it manages to entertain as long as it features gory killings, infantile dialogs and OTT make-up effects. It only gets intolerably boring when the frustrated soldiers blame the captain for the umpteenth time and bla bla bla. This film is a non-stop series of lame clichés and uncreative ideas, but at least it's watchable.

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manodogs

This certainly isn't Goodfellas, but it's damn fine fare for what it is: a made-for-TV movie about vampires in space and the slayers who hunt them. But it isn't cheesy and doesn't try to be campy. It's a straightforward sci-fi/horror flick with rich and engaging characters (pared down to archetypes for the time allotted, of course), a fully-developed setting (again, pared for time, but the rich background is obvious in the vampiric languages that are apparently more than gobbledigook and the information given on planets and positions, etc.), a very rapid pace that keeps the story moving without turning into a music video, and pitch-perfect cinematography and direction.It is not flashy or showy, but it's certainly not "sock puppets and CGI." In fact, there is almost none of either. The SFX are actually dependent on make-up, sets, lighting, and acting. Not that there is much SFX to speak of. The focus is on the characters and plot development and both shine. Unlike the aforementioned Buffy and its blatant, cheeseball camp.Obviously set up for series development, I'm shocked and saddened they didn't pursue it. This would make a killer series.

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