I really hated this movie. It seemed like a home made movie. The acting sucked, the effects were awful, and the story sucked. The movie was extremely boring. I was waiting for something to happen for most of the movie. The plot was not interesting enough. It was mostly talking and stupid things they did. The killer was dumb and uninteresting. It was painful to watch. The kills were mild. They wee bloody but the bad effects took and enjoyment out of it. The music sucked and the characters were idiots. I hated them. It was not suspenseful. It was just terrible. They seemed like jerks and they were annoying. The women were not very attractive and the boys were ugly. One of the worst.

OK so I admit I'm probably a bit different from the average guy on the street. A Spanish born, London-bred salesman with a few bizarre hobbies that you won't find everywhere. One of them is collecting and rating slasher movies, which as you can see by review list - is something that I'm very passionate about. I guess we all have our quirky individual characteristics (or flaws?)Anyway, I digress. When reviewing a stalk and slash flick, no matter how bad it may be, I always try to put at least a thousand words down and give as thoughtful an insight as possible. I know very well that there are many people globally like me who love these old hack and slashers and some of them are really hard to find. However, no matter how much I enjoy staying up and writing in depth reports, sometimes it's a struggle to conjure such a large amount of words.Blood Lake is an example when writer's block has struck. Maybe because it's an effort so empty that I feel I have already lost so much time watching it that I refuse to lose the same amount thinking of things to say? I am not sure, but my apologies if the review is short(er).Now, I am all for a group of guys getting together with a camcorder and making a movie with their buddies. Let's face it, if I had the chance to do the same, then I would lap it up quicker than an alcoholic locked in an off licence. But I mean come on; the least you could do is make the most of it if fate allowed such an opportunity to arise? A group of teenagers head off to a wood-side cabin for a weekend of partying and debauchery. The location is based alongside a large lake, so they make the most of their time by water-skiing and the like. They're not aware however that they are sharing the location with a plump hick in cowboy boots who has different ideas for his choice of entertainment.You know what? In my garage I have a skateboard that I used to ride on when I was eleven-years old. Back in the day, I took it everywhere like a comfort rug and I reckon that if I dug it out, I could still bust a few ollies. However what I wouldn't do, if I got that chance to make a feature film, was expect people to enjoy watching me use it for fifteen minutes. Well director Tim Boggs obviously has a very different idea of what pleases an audience, because here we are treated to an almost never-ending scene of his cast-members water-skiing. Now there's nothing wrong with water-skiing. It's a sport that I am sure I would thoroughly enjoy if I knew anyone with the necessary appliances. However what I am not too interested in is sitting and watching a quarter of an hour of unappealing actors getting dragged around behind a boat during a horror film. In fact, long, tedious and ultimately pointless scenes are the director's trademark and he seems to like nothing better than filling the screen with plot points that take the story absolutely nowhere. Character development I understand, but watching a Trans Am full of teens drive down the road for what feels like an eternity can start to grate VERY quickly. Oh and please don't get me started with the card game, which had me pulling out my chest hair before it had come to an end. By this point the film had begun to feel more like this was an over-long Youtube video on how cool the Blood Lake posse are at weekends than a slasher flick.As I mentioned earlier, the chance to make a horror movie is an opportunity that not many of us get. I could never understand why if you are going to rip off Halloween and Friday the 13th then you don't go all out and dress your bogeyman appropriately? How much can it cost to get hold of a decent mask and a boiler suit? The killer here looks laughable in his cowboy boots, hat and a scruffy shirt that just about covers his beer belly. Scary? You'll get more chills from Sesame Street. There's no real gore on offer either and the obvious lack of cinematic experience from everyone involved is a big poo poo to the chance of any suspense. There was one decent shadow scene that I rather enjoyed and the soundtrack is not as bad as to be expected, but hardly enough to offer redemption. After the self-mutilation inducing poorly-acted climax, there is a shot that had me flabbergasted. I won't spoil it for you, because it's the best thing that Blood Lake had to offer. To be fair it had me scratching my head. I mean, I was like, how the hell did they do that? All due respect to the honesty of the film crew, because as the credits rolled it's the first thing that they explained. It showed a sense of humour from the film- makers though and shows that they probably knew how bad their movie was. I am not usually that harsh on a poor movie, because to be fair at least these guys had the cojones to put together the funds to make a feature, which is something that I would love to do. The only thing that annoys me is that it's such a splendid opportunity, why wouldn't anyone make the most of it? Little old me, a Spanish genre fan living in London has watched and taken the effort to review a back-garden project that was made nearly twenty-five years ago. Doesn't that make them wish that they'd tried harder? Well I managed 1000 words, but I didn't enjoy this flick. I doubt that anyone else will either...

Another late 80's routine teen-slasher picture like there were at least fifteen per dozen around that time. "Blood Lake" distinguishes itself from the rest in absolutely … nothing! Prepare yourself to endure insufferable jock characters, overlong padding footage of teens water-surfing to the tunes of horrible pop music, bloodless massacres, copious WTF dialogs, lousy and shaky video-shot photography and sheer annoyance. Six incredibly irritating teenagers, two of them who have barely hit puberty, set out for a holiday resort near a lake. Before the opening credits, there was a brief sequence indicating the presence of a knife-wielding killer in the region, but he doesn't make a move until late in the film. "Blood Lake" is boring beyond words without any noteworthy highlight. Not even a boob-shot or an imaginative murder. These most be the most boring circle of friends ever, since all they do in the evening is sit around a table and murmur the entire time! There a sequence like this that goes on for nearly 9 whole minutes, I kid you not! I have nothing else to share on "Blood Lake" except the message: do not watch it. This dud found a spot in my list of absolute worst 80's slashers alongside: "Don't Go in the Woods", "Deadly Games", "Appointment with Fear", "Berserker", "Cardiac Arrest", "Hollow Gate", "The Stay Awake", "Blood Tracks" and "Hide and Go Shriek".

We've just completed the "Journey" otherwise known as Blood Lake. If you're thinking of seeing this movie... do it! This reminded me of my neighbor, Warren, and his stupid boat out at the lake. He even had a Mullet. A matching Mullet...I particularly liked watching people water ski (badly) for 25 minutes. And there were drinking games. And there were no tits shown throughout the whole movie. "I can't wait for tonight. Amanda's going to be beautiful." Probably the most intrinsically fascinating subtlety in the movie is the moment where the lead actress (thick blonde), whilst clearing the table, turns to the young African-American female and states "Don't you like being a slave?" in a pitch-perfect, lovely southern accent. Incredible.Why were teens being mercilessly slaughtered by a 280-pound 6'0 fat hick named Jed (I swear I predicted his name would be Jed before it was ever revealed) with a Rambo knife? Apparently, it was because of "your daddy". Clearly no further explanation required. But... after the ambulance carts of the surviving teens, we are treated to a post-apocalyptic 15-minute music video of Blood Lake dried up, with Jed standing impressively like only a killer hick with no motive can do.