So I'm reading this book called "Something's Alive on the Titanic," by Robert Serling, the same author who wrote "The President's Plane is Missing," "Air Force One is Haunted," and "Someone's Something is Something," except I made that last one up.Anyway, the book is about a team of adventurers who dive to the Titanic, only to discover a monster down there. And we know this is true because of all those 1912 newspaper stories that quoted survivors saying, "Thank God the Titanic sunk, because there was a monster on it." See what I did there? I made that up, too.Anyway again, I bring this book up not just because its plot is perfect for an Asylum film (if you're reading this, Barry Van Dyke, you're welcome), but because it inspired me to coin the phrase "rip-roaring stupidity™."And so here we have "Battle of Los Angeles," in which an alien ship literally the size of Los Angeles starts blowing up the city for no good reason, and the military responds by sending a few hot chicks in fighter jets to check it out.Soon, the fate of the world is up to a half-dozen or so ragtag soldiers, because the rest of the U.S. military apparently has better things to do than save the world from an alien invasion.Once the plot is established thus, the film requires only that you just sit back and enjoy the rip-roaring stupidity™. For instance:-- The impossibly gravelly-voiced sergeant who barks out phrases like "These ain't the Rooskies!" and stoically fires his service revolver at a squadron of flying saucers blasting lasers at him.-- The tank-like robot with a machine gun on its head that looks like an amalgam of a Dalek and a vacuum cleaner that the aliens sent to kill a neighborhood of people. For some reason.-- The platoon leader who clings to life despite clearly being shot about 9,000 times by the Dalek vacuum.-- The fighter pilot who can't seem to shake the flying saucer on her tail until she bravely ejects, taking out the alien ship when her plane's windshield flies into it.-- The World War II pilot who shows up in a Corsair 68 years after being abducted by the aliens, who seems really, really cool until later in the movie, when we find out something very, very stupid about him.-- The samurai babe. 'Nuff said.We're soon introduced to one of the aliens and learn the real reason they're here, and to be honest, it's a rather nifty one (which I won't spoil for you here, but is easily learned on Wikipedia)."Battle of Los Angeles" is a mockbuster of the mainstream film "Battle: Los Angeles," and if you dolled out good money at the theater for the latter when the former was a buck at Redbox, find someone to stooge-slap you. Thanks to The Asylum, rip-roaring stupidity™ doesn't have to cost a fortune.

Because this movie could not hold my full attention, I may have blinked a little too often and missed a few things: like a coherent plot, character development, the reason one of the main characters was dressed the ridiculous way she was (and carries a Japanese sword instead of a gun)etc. It is my impression that the director must have owed some favors (or had a "diversity" agenda), because there was an inordinate percentage of female fighter pilots; and after the first 45 minutes of this movie, NONE of the remaining military characters were white males.This was the first review I've ever written for IMDb; but I felt compelled to warn prospective viewers. The only other feature-length movie I've ever seen that was lamer than this one was "Attack Force" with Steven Seagal.

The title lured into thinking that this film is Battle: Los Angeles. It took me about five minutes to realize that Battle of Los Angeles is just a crappy "mockbuster", which has a confusingly similar title with the A-class film I thought I'm going to watch. I was first disappointed and angry, but then decided to keep watching. What a terrible mistake! BoLA was unimaginable torture until the end and I'm still not over the shock. I registered to IMDb just to review this film and warn anyone from watching. All the other reviewers are not lying, trust me! Okay, except those who seemingly thought they reviewed B:LA and a few who obviously work for either SyFy or The Asylum. Anyway, BoLA is a perfection of failure: acting, script, characters, special effects, everything... they simply suck. For example, it seems that they bought a Nerf gun from Toys "R" Us, painted it, and alas, there's your advanced alien weapon. What's really sad - or should I say hilarious -is that the director thought a retired sergeant shooting down alien space vessels with a Colt SA .44 six-shooter and a woman - who owes much to Resident Evil's Alice - slicing the flying probes with her Katana look cool. This being said, I actually enjoyed finding the numerous tributes to major sci-fi blockbusters such as Independence Day, Star Wars (EPs 4 and 6), Aliens, MIB, and so on. This film has more rip-off ideas from big-name movies than any other film I have seen.

When this mess started I kept thinking "it'll get going in a minute ." Then half an hour later you think- well,I guess not.The story line seems to be non existent.When the pilot from 1942 appears you are given false hope that this will finally put a few revs in the film, but no.It's a cheap film that looks like it's been made on a back lot of a back lot.Worst film line before we meet the "The Alien " has to be "Anyone got any reeces pieces ? He loves those." Dire dialogue.Terrible script.How on earth did this ever make it to the screen ? worth for the unintentional laughs only ! like the "hard " woman who suddenly appears with one patch over her eye !! where did that come from !! ha ha ha.cheap budget sci-fi at it's worst .