The Three Acts:The initial tableaux: Ulrika kidnaps the President's daughter. The ransom is the overthrow of Ganzar, a fictional country that Ulrika wants to rule. Great. Ulrika has a pathological hatred of men, and a deep disdain of women. Even better. The President is in a funk, so trusted aid Mona runs the op to recover the daughter.Mona goes to prison to recruit female tough cases to make the extraction.Delineation of conflicts: Ulrika wants the ransom; the US does not wish to pay it. Mona wants the prisoners to do the extraction; the prisoners are hardly interested. Mona hopes to make the prisoners offers that they cannot refuse. Ulrika wishes the extraction to fail; the prisoners would like to get their individual pay offs.Cassandra was a captain in Delta Forces; she will be tactical command. Raven was CIA, like Mona, and will handle the close in wetworks. Mei-Lin specializes in explosives. Kat is a talented sniper, who will be sniping. The egos are as big as the talents here. What are the chances that they will not kill each other instead of the enemy?The local teenager Lexi wishes to help the team in return for passage to America. Resolution: This ends pretty much the way I expected it to.

A truly horrible knockoff of The A-Team on Premarin. A terrible plan, with no hope of success, badly executed. On their own the actresses might have pulled it off... as in faintly interesting with enough alcohol - but with no direction over no plot where is the hope. Try this with some suicidal pals - every body gets in a double wide garage with AK-47's and fires 700 rounds each - at each other - OK? Ha Ha I fooled ya - it's the A-Team on Midol!!! No one gets hit - not even grazed! Cause after all they're all 8 feet apart!! Ha Ha can't hit a standing target!! Fox takes a hostage 4 feet from Clay and escapes - hello - shoot her in the brain stem all gone! Once again a movie not worth a review but cheaper than therapy...

It's Plan Nine from Herzegovina.Maybe Balkan Gargoyles?No, no... It's Mant!Imagine the very worst movie you've ever seen - maybe Victor Mature's One Million BC. Then imagine ol' Vic in drag.Sure, there've been worse. Probably Bollywood or Bulgarian. I've missed those, though.Merc's could have been enhanced without stress on the plot if the entire cast were nude. Imagine a president's daughter kidnapped by militant naturists and having R Crumb's lesbian pirates tasked to the recovery.Don't miss it!

I really think there should be a "0 stars" vote for occasions like this... movie (since other people are calling it that). Eventually it deserved my 1 star by giving me the sense that everybody can make movies. Obviously you do not need a plot that follows human nature, or some logic, or any sense at all as long as the good guys win and the bad guys die. Acting is not necessary. You are not even required to care enough to watch and see your creation afterward (it's alive!). After I submit this review I am going to call some friends and in two or three days I believe we can create "Mercenaries 2". After all, my homemade clips of my kids, family and friends contain more action, comedy and drama than this m-m-m... sorry, cannot call it that twice.