Assassination of a High School President is a mystery/comedy mishmash in which neither the mystery nor the comedy are really any good. The story unfolds in a high school, where Bobby Funke writes for the paper. Except he's never actually finished a story. But he gets his big break when he's assigned to do an article on student body president Paul Moore. Then the school principal discovers the completed SATs have been stolen from his office. Intrepid reporter Bobby Funke is on the case. He ties Paul Moore to the crime and writes an article incriminating him, pretty much ruining Paul's life. His sleuthing has earned Bobby newfound popularity amongst his classmates but he soon begins to have doubts. Was Paul really guilty? Or was he just a pawn in some sort of grand conspiracy? Bobby resumes sleuthing but unfortunately for the viewers nothing particularly interesting or funny happens while he does.Reece Thompson does a reasonably decent job with the role of Bobby but the script does him few favors, especially with the way it uses Bobby as a narrator who narrates seemingly every second of the movie. This grows tiresome very quickly, especially as much of the narration is meant to be funny but is not. Meanwhile the film's central mystery ends up not being very mysterious, you'll figure the whole thing out long before Bobby does. The film's obviousness drains much of the drama away. And the film really struggles for momentum. The plot, such as it is, moves forward at glacial pace. Some scenes are absolutely interminable. Humor falls flat. Really the only guy to draw any laughs is Bruce Willis playing the quite strange principal. Willis has his moments, injecting some life into the dull proceedings. Mischa Barton has a big role as the school's resident hot girl. The film tries to set her character up as some sort of femme fatale but neither the actress nor the character convinces. By the end rather than coming together the film pretty much unravels. You can see where the movie's going, you don't like where it's going, and you got very little entertainment out of it along the way. No way to spin this as anything other than a big disappointment.

I don't know what's wrong with Bruce Willis. He seems to be starring in more and more of these 'straight to DVD' films these days. I can't see him needing the money while he's still making Die Hard films, so why does he do it? Here, like so many other (non cinema) films, he puts his face on the front cover of the DVD box and various promotional material to lure people like me into thinking he's in it for more than a few minutes. In truth, his part is little more than an extended cameo.The film is about a school that is entirely populated by stereotypes. The nerdy boy likes the hot girl. There are arrogant jocks and a host of other clichés. Then, when some test papers are stolen, the hot girl wants the nerdy boy to investigate for the school newspaper. So follows a sort of 'detective story' only with no actual detectives and in a school instead of a seedy criminal underworld. Plus the lead character narrates constantly. If he walks into a gym, he tells you he's going to walk into a gym then goes on to list every person taking part in a physical activity inside. Seriously, it was like watching a film with the director's commentary on! I was watching this film and it's never a good sign when you start wondering how long it's been on for. I guessed 45 minutes. I checked on the DVD timer and found I'd only watched 15 minutes. I'm afraid I couldn't last any more than 30 minutes of this.Maybe it got better after that and, if I did myself and the film a disservice, I apologise. But the opening half an hour was so dull, full of clichés and over-narration, I just couldn't bring myself to watch it any more.

ASSASSINATION OF A HIGH SCHOOL PRESIDENT is a big step above most of the teen movies that focus on potty mouth dialogue and absurd situations just to get laughs. Writers Tim Calpin and Kevin Jakubowski have come up with a script that is sometimes smart but ultimately full of holes in deciding where it wants to take the original premise of this high school movie. Director Brett Simon seems to sort of let the movie flow as it develops, preventing a tight telling of a story with potential. Bobby Funke (Reece Thompson, a promising new talent) is a nerdy newspaper reporter who is never able to finish a story. Student Body President/basketball star/ladies' man Paul Moore (Patrick Taylor) seems to have everything Bobby wants, including the attention of the school's most beautiful girl Francesca (Mischa Barton). As fortune would have it a crime happens - the SATs are stolen from the office of Principal Kirkpatrick (Bruce Willis playing Bruce Willis) and Booby is on the investigation and story, a story that points to Paul as the perpetrator. Bobby's nerdiness is transformed by his attention and by the affections of Francesca, and soon the school collapses under the cloud of the crime. It is how the 'crime' is inspected and resolved that ends the film. For Bobby Funke it is a matter of 'What price glory'. The cast is fresh and it is a pleasure to see some new faces with promise. Whether it is the director's or the sound mixer's fault, much of the dialogue is swallowed by the soundtrack, a problem thankfully solved by turning on the subtitles. This is a movie with promise from all involved and it will be interesting to see if it has an impact on teen flick quality. Grady Harp

Either it's heaven or hell, the four years of high school define us, like it or not, preparing us for adulthood. Some of us are already "old" by that time and the lead hero, Bobby Funke, of the breezy, smart aleck school satire/mystery/coming-of-age opus, "Assassination Of a High School President", is definitely one of them.If he's not correcting the way people pronouncing his last name (the "e" is silent); noting his grade status, despite his baby face (sophomore); trying (and failing) to get his driver's license or downplaying the event of him being tied to a giant penis made out of snow (!), Funke (Reece Daniel Thompson of "Rocket Science") is trying to be a wunderkind newshound at the Catholic high school he attends, St. Donovan. Problem is he hasn't finished a piece. So, the paper's editor (spunky Melonie Diaz of "Raising Victor Vargas") assigns Funke to do a piece on class prez/basketball player Paul Moore (Patrick Taylor). Moore's basically a himbo, but also becomes a patsy when the SAT tests scores are stolen from the principal's office. Seeing himself akin to Washington Post reporters Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein, Funke rolls with the story and becomes a hero. He even gets the amorous respect of Moore's ex-girl, the popular Francesa Fachini (Mischa Barton of "The O.C."). However, things are more sinister, especially involving Moore's successor/Francesa's step-sib, handsome but sleazy Marlon Piazza (Luke Grimes of the TV drama, "Brothers and Sisters") and that puts Funke is a tight squeeze between high school popularity and journalistic integrity.An entry at the 2008 Sundance Film Festival, "Assassination" is a dark, witty romp that plays on the inanities of high school by putting them in a mystery/pulp noir bag. Sure, "Brick" did it before, but "Assassination" has more humor, subtle and loud, thanks to first-time feature film helmer Brett Simon (did some music videos) and tyro scribes Tim Calpin and Kevin Jakubowski (both were crew members on "South Park").A younger version of Tom Cruise but with likable geekiness, Thompson shines with an old man complex (he's probably the only student who knows who the aforementioned reporters are!). He wants to belong, but the environment's twisted and immature, despite it being a Catholic high school. Barton's pretty durable in the junior femme fatale role, not deserving the attacks from people who probably never went to an acting class.The surprise here's Bruce Willis (how the **** did he get in this and you know what he's been in, mother******) as the school's hard ass principal, war vet Jared T. Kirkpatrick, who has a zero-tolerance policy against gum chewing and reminisces about his Gulf War days. Like Adam Baldwin's John Casey of "Chuck", Kirkpatrick's a mentally jittery trigger who resents being in a mundane workplace, infested with social scofflaws.Some of said individuals help with Funke's investigation, including perverts Dutch Middleton (Joe Perrino) and Ricky Delacruz (Vincent Piazza, also of "Science" and "Boardwalk Empire") and jailbait stripper Sam Landis (Cameron Diaz-like Tanya Fischer of the new TV version of "The Defenders"). The faculty's nuts too. Josh Pais ("Teeth") is a Spanish-language teacher who has an inappropriate lust over the students. Nurse Platt (Kath Morris of "Cold Case") is no different but more hippie-like. Michael Rappaport ("Hitch", "Big Fan") is an overgrown teenager of a basketball coach who's actually a English teacher. The inmates have taken over, people.With cleverness and echoes from "Chinatown", "Rushmore", "The Usual Suspects" and "Assassin of Youth", "Assassination" is a nice nutty take on how high school can be both cruel and hysterical. It's a nice movie to watch on a Saturday night, if nothing's good on the TV.