Hallmark Entertainment continues their adaptation of classic adventure stories and films with this remake of the stop-motion classic JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS. Some may say that the need to remake this already classic movie is a pointless one; personally I like to make up my own mind so I gave this miniseries a go.It is a miniseries that disappoints and delights in roughly equal measure. Sadly, the convention of today's television means that a lot of - shall we say "sentimentality" creeps into things, with also a lot of modern cheesiness which is definitely not cool. As in CLASH OF THE TITANS, we repeatedly get to see the gods in the sky bickering as Jason embarks on his voyage, except that this time Zeus is some young American bloke - I think not! Sadly, JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS also has a tendency to show things which should really be left to the imagination - do we really need to see Zeus' hand come down from the clouds and stir the ocean to create a typhoon, or for him to drink from the ocean and gargle with the water? This is childish stuff, and the actor and actress playing Zeus and Hera are far too young for their parts anyhow. Being family entertainment, the worrying trend to spoon-feed the audience by having the characters speaking modernised language and sometimes slang is apparent here, but not overwhelmingly so.A modern movie is limited in what it can do by what has come before. JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS falls into the trap of using clichés, and a lot of them too, which is probably unavoidable these days. However, most of the clichés are disguised well so that hopefully you won't recognise them. The themes of a boy prince escaping from a villain has been done to death yet it shows up again here to passable effect. Thankfully, this film does have a lot to recommend it. A stalwart cast of major actors in minor parts, familiar bit players, and some international talent (I was pleased to see that the cast includes several British actors as well as the expected Americans) make things easier to handle. The budget shows here too, and authentic filming in the likes of Turkey gives the movie a colourful, atmospheric look which counts for a lot.The cast is a mixed bag. Mainly at fault is Jason London, playing a rather wimpy Jason. Firstly, he's just too young to look as if he should be leading a ship full of older men, and secondly he's just not heroic enough. I wasn't convinced in his various abilities at all. Don't get me wrong; London isn't a bad actor in this film, but he's simply wrong and shouldn't be in it. Hopper is fun as always as the villain, and Derek Jacobi virtually unrecognisable as the blind wise man Phineas. The actors playing the crew of the Argo are a mixed bunch but most of them, as in Adrian Lester's case, put in good, solid performances with their assorted personalities. Sadly, Frank Langella is wasted in the minor role of King Aertes who doesn't get to do much.Most impressive of all is Brian Thompson as Hercules. Physically he looks the part with his beard and muscles, and he also has the charisma to pull off the role too. Much better than pretty-boy Kevin Sorbo in any case. Peplum fans will be pleased to hear that Hercules is up to his old tricks in this movie, lifting ships single-handedly, uprooting trees whole, fighting armies and destroying temples with his strength alone. Way to go, Brian! Although JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS can't hold a candle to the '63 version, it is a fair attempt to tell the story in a new way, and it's nice to see that people are still making these mythological movies - however corrupted by modern sensibilities they may be - in this day and age. Fun and pretty to watch, but deeply flawed.

I'll keep this simple and without all blathering hoopla about this and that, that my predecessors are most famous for. Although this may prove to be somewhat of a tedious task, given that I'm required to have a minimum of 10 lines! I'm actually shocked that this re-make has nearly 6.0 rating from 3500 viewers, probably all of them worked on the making of this futile attempt. I was forced to give it a 1 out of 10 rating....LOL This re-make attempt is one of the worst I've ever had the displeasure of viewing! Simply put, the 1963 original version "hands down" had stellar acting (with a lesser known English cast) and much better (Ray Harryhausen) special effects.

Gary Lewis and the Playboys, Buddy Holly and the Crickets, Jason and the Argonauts. Sounds like a 1950s rock band but this outfit has legs, the story being at least 2300 years old -- and an oral tradition before that.It's a complicated narrative too. In order to save his mother's hide, Jason is forced by the king (Dennis Hopper) to undertake a dangerous sea voyage with two-dozen crew to a distant island and bring back the golden fleece, which is a sheepskin made of golden wool. The crew is full of familiar names. There are Castor and Pollux (who speak with Slavic accents), Hercules, Orpheus, Atalanta, and some others. Well, they're not household worlds exactly, but famous nonetheless.Along the way they encounter dragons, clashing rocks, harpies who are half-bird and half-women and resemble my second-grade teacher, an army of women led by Natasha Henstridge, an angry Poseidon, clashing rocks, armed skeletons born of dragon's teeth, the witch Medea (Jolene Blalock), the jealous king who wants to keep the golden fleece for himself (Frank Langella), and various other dilatory things and events that happen to ordinary people who are in a hurry to get someplace.This movie, splendidly photographed, comes to us from Hallmark, along with their superior production of The Odyssey. There have been a couple of other retellings of the Greek myths lately and I think I know why. It's a chance for a special effects extravaganza. Willis O'Brian of "King Kong" fame was replaced by the more sophisticated effects of Ray Harryhausen, and now it's time for computer-generated images. They're pretty good too. The argonauts land on a rocky island and plant a spear and a giant eyeball appears nearby -- it's not an island at all, but the barnacle bedecked Poseidon taking a snooze, and, man, is he cranky when he wakes up.The weakest part of the film is in the performances. Jolene Blalock, who looks like Hilary Swank, is the image of a beautiful model -- and she acts like one. Adrian Lester, the African-American yuppie in "Primary Colors", still looks like a yuppie. Olivia Williams as Hera isn't bad at all, but most of the gods and goddesses are no more than competent. For a great Zeus, a Zeus who has a touchy relationship with Hera because she knows he's been getting it on with mortal women, posing as a shower of coins or a swan or something, watch Lawrence Olivier in "Clash of the Titans." The central figure of Jason is given to Jason London. Now, he may be a great guy in real life for all we know. He probably loves his dog. But he's gotten the pretty boy treatment in this movie. His hair looks done by a fashionable salon on Rodeo Drive. Every female in the film falls in love with him. They fawn over him, give him presents, happily rub oil or wine on his body (twice). It's disgusting. And as if that weren't enough, London's acting is as flat as a pancake, perfectly suitable for a high-school play. Dennis Hopper is a great maniac, but he has to be seen (and heard) as a murderous Greek king to be believed. The best performance, surprisingly, is by Brian Thompson as Hercules. You'll recognize him when you see him. He's been an alien on the X-Files and a lank-haired greaseball of a heavy in some features.Still, this would make a good movie for the family. I suppose there are a few semi-nude scenes involving Natasha Henstridge -- not enough to suit me, but not enough to make any 10-year-old's eyes goggle either. The kids will probably treat it as nothing more than another action flick with plenty of CGI, but if they remember it at all, they'll be remembering a Greek myth. It might get them a bonus point on an IQ test sometime later in life.

It's such a shame that Mystery Science Theater 3000 isn't made any more. This movie contains so many unintentionally funny lines that the script practically writes itself, but somehow you just know that Mike and the 'bots would crank it up to the next level, making fun of stuff that us mere mortals didn't even notice.And yes, Jason London's performance is every bit as bad as everyone says it is. I just couldn't take him seriously when he was supposed to come across as a leader of men, woodenly delivering his not very inspirational pep talks to the crew. Still, no film that features a fire-breathing robot bull can be all bad, I suppose.