You know that theory of human cloning that says that if you make a clone of a clone of a clone, the results will be diluted and far less defined than the original the more copies you make? Where the Boys Are is kind of like that. It comes so far down the line of Horny Teenager flicks that even the mere idea feels watered down and diluted. There is nothing here you haven't seen before even from fellow inferior clones.The pitch idea, flimsy as it was, might have seemed tantalizing. There is the typical standard, average story of kids who are up to no good heading to Fort Lauderdale to party and get laid. The twist is that instead of four guys, there are four girls. That's not exactly a step forward for women especially considering that this female quartet is just as boneheaded as any quartet of guys. If that's equality God help us all.The movie follows these four college girls down to Ft. Lauderdale for spring break. There is the potential to build characters there. There's Laurie (Lynn-Holly Johnson, who won a Razzie for this) who thinks and dreams only of hot sex with a hunk. There's Sandra (Wendy Schaal) who seeks the heart of a good man. There's Carol (Lorna Luft) who needs a vacation from her boyfriend. There is Jennie (List Hartman) who is torn between the affections for a stuffy concert pianist and a rocker. The potential, you can see, is there to build some characters but the movie doesn't have that kind of energy. This isn't a movie so much as a checklist of antics from a hundred other party movies.The characters are irritating. They talk in short, clichéd sentences and only do what is required of them by the genre. I could say that the camera loves them but even that little detail is lost on this film. The title suggests more than the movie can provide. Hearing it may illicit memories of the old Connie Francis ditty (never heard here) from the 60s but one look at the film takes a bat that notion. The soundtrack that is on display is dead as a doornail.The only point of interest in this film is to note that it was produced by Allan Carr three years before he produced the Oscar show that paired Snow White and Rob Lowe in a duet of "Proud Mary" and three years after he unleashed The Village People's "Can't Stop the Music" into the very first Best Picture award at the Razzies. 'nuff said.

I used to watch this movie on VHS at my friend's house after school, in the late eighties. I wish I could find the movie now because I'd definitely buy it. It's a crude beach flick, meant to make you cringe and giggle, and it does it well. The performances are earnest, if not actually good, and you end up actually liking the group of ditzes. The music and the party scenes are enjoyable, in a trashy way, and I love that the rich, upper class characters like Barbara and Camden are so out of place in all the spring break wildness. I mean, who visits their uptight family friends on Spring Break? The plot to this movie is irrelevant, because its fun lies in its brainlessness. Enjoy the half-naked coeds and cheap jokes, because sometimes, that's a beautiful thing.

I'm absolutely astonished at the negative and even erroneous comments people are making about this film. I loved it! For an '80s teen-sex-beach party type of film, what other film could compare? "The Beach Girls" (1982), "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" (1982), "Foreplay" (1982), "Goin' All The Way" (1982), "The Last American Virgin" (1982), "Porky's" (1982), "Spring Break" (1983), "Screwballs" (1983), "Loose Screws" (1985), "Summer School" (1987), "Hard Bodies" (1989)? I've seen most of them, and for my taste none of those even come close to having simultaneously such good music, good humor, and good scenery as this one.My favorite scene in this movie is in the intro when the girls first hit the road and the great song "Hot Nights" is playing, with nice aerial photography of their convertible zipping along en route to Florida. Lynn-Holly Johnson is one foxy lady! In that (pre-Internet) era when I was just starting to get interested in tracking down films with Lynn-Holly in them, the combination of my having found her by accident in this film, the great music, the aerial photography, and the nice Florida scenery really did it for me. I was thrilled. This became my favorite recent movie for the next several months, and I still haven't seen anything in the same genre that compares since then.The music is generally good throughout this whole film, which I can't say for the 1960 version or any other teen-sex comedy I've seen. "Hot Nights" is by far the best song, but "Be-Bop-A-Lula," "Slow Down," and "Seven Day Heaven" are good, too, as are the Rockats songs in general. The inflatable man scene, the drunk driving accident scene, and the mansion party scene are high points of humor. The overall upbeat feel of the film is good, and it looks and feels like it was set in Florida, just as it was supposed to. If its goal was to capture the party atmosphere of spring break in Fort Lauderdale in the '80s, it succeeded admirably.It's hard to compare this film to the original 1960 version because the two versions were set in such different eras that they are almost completely different films. The 1960 version may have been cute in some ways, but it is *so* old-fashioned with its euphemistic talk about "playing house" and the girl being traumatized just because she lost her virginity that it's painful to even watch at some points. In contrast, this 1984 version has freewheeling drugs, drunken driving, and stripping. Nobody's striving to land a husband, and it even has a few topless shots in it. This is a real party movie. To hell with the plot. Who needs a story line in a film like this?It is not true that there are only non-nude bikini shots in this movie: see the Mister Bullhorn part and the Hot Bod Contest part for topless shots. I also think Lorna Luft has a great body, so I don't understand the criticisms about her being in the Hot Bod Contest. I also didn't notice that the girls looked too old for college, either, since college is full of students of all ages. Also, the criticism that this movie was a "career stopper" for Lynn-Holly and others just isn't logical since it might only be coincidence that those stars didn't go on to make any more significant movies, and other actresses have starred in turkeys and their careers still survived. Also, Lynn-Holly was *not* a Playboy magazine Playmate. She appeared under some bed covers in one photo in the June 1981 issue of Playboy at the time of "For Your Eyes Only" (1981), but I believe that's all. Therefore I don't think many of the criticisms about this film and its actresses are valid or even factual. A deeper criticism might be that most of the humor relies on sex, alcohol, and drugs: the M*A*S*H syndrome. I've watched this film at times when I thought all the humor was funny, and at other times when I thought all the humor fell totally flat, so apparently it depends on your mood and your perception of those topics. In any event, this film definitely captured a freer, more tolerant era, just before the War On Drugs became oppressive, just before the AIDS scare became serious, and before the city of Fort Lauderdale harassed spring breakers nearly out of existence in that city. I never thought I'd look back on the '80s with affection, but considering America's post-9/11 Zeitgeist, the '80s are starting to look pretty darned good in comparison.No matter how you look at it, this film definitely deserves a *lot* higher rating than its current 2.5/10. I give it 8/10.

Though far from an intelligent production, this 1984 reworking of the 1960 film is nevertheless a fun time capsule of early-to-mid 1980's culture. Forget about plot. This movie is just a mindless and pleasant romp on the beach at Fort Lauderdale before spring breakers were driven out and the monster condos took over the skyline. It features far more location shooting than the original (that one was mostly Hollywood sets) and some interesting 80's music. I am biased; I'm nostalgic for the 80's and I love Fort Lauderdale and Florida, so I may enjoy it more than the average viewer.Not every film should be a literary gem as life is more than that. "Where the Boys Are" is an honest look at what was going on with the college kids of the time. There is some brief nudity and sexual content that may be mildly distasteful, but that is what was happening in Fort Lauderdale until the late 80's and 90's saw the city powers-that-be effectively sweep the spring break crowd north to Daytona.Don't build up great expectations and you will probably enjoy this otherwise forgettable flick.