A friend of mine told me not to see this film because it was going to be boring about the Trojan War and the story about the Trojan Horse. Good thing I paid no attention, he probably never heard of a Trojan Condom and it is a wonder he knew what they were used for. Anyway, this was a very entertaining film with lots of laughs and good acting by the entire cast. Jennifer Love Hewitt,(Leah Jones),"Garfield",'04 was very beautiful and did everything possible to get the attention of Brad Kimble,(Will Friedle),"Less Than Perfect",'04. Brad grew up with Leah and liked her very much, but his big dream was to score with Brooke Kingsley,(Marley Shelton),"Sin City",'05. Brooke was a chick that had everything in the right places and was very hot to trot in the fast lane for guys. Well to make a long story short, Brad Kimble went entirely crazy thinking about Brooke and a single CONDOM. Enjoy

"Trojan War" is a reasonably entertaining teen flick about a guy and tomboyish girl (JLH) who have been best friends since "sperm" (as she puts it). However, he has his sights set on another babe and has to go though the night from hell in search of protection before his conquest only to find that...well, you know. On the upside, this flick is a fun teen romp and tame enough for most parents with some good messages about the importance of responsible, meaningful sex. On the downside, "Trojan War" is a par watch at best and way below the standard for teen films set by John Hughes and Chris Columbus. (C+)

Trojan War was like a brush of rain. It began with images, like most movies do, but soon there was sound as well. I don't remember any bears in this movie, but if there had been, well, what can I say -- if there had been bears in this movies, it would have been ursine.The Trojan War was also called the Illiad, before it became this movie, but try as I could, I could not determine which character was intended to represent the immortal hero Hector, who fought on behalf of the Trojans in that conflict.War is a tough topic for any movie, but again, this was not like Private Ryan. There was no "Normandy" scene. And like this, with these absences, we chip away at the movie by defining what it was not, and thus approach, elliptically, all that this movie is, namely, a brush of rain.

"Trojan War" is the typical fluffy teen fare with as much subtlety as an ice cream cone. And worse off, it's not funny! Silly, yes. Stupid, very. Funny, seldom. Original, scarcely.Come on, this is a funny premise! A great premise with great potential! "Booty Call" wasn't the smartest comedy, but it had enough charm, originality and wit to pull it off. It used the condom-chasing premise wisely, for the most part. "Trojan War" is simply a cartoonish farce that flings one goofy situation after another, all of which is over-the-top--sometimes obnoxious--but rarely funny. Wow, I'm surprised it went direct to video!Will Friedle is not a bad actor, but he's resorted to bumbling around like an ape. Let's face it, he has little comic talent. With his previous experience in the biz mainly being the lamebrain sitcom, "Boy Meets World," what do you expect? Who can pick up a great sense of timing and delivery on a sitcom aimed at pre-teens? All his dialogue delivery seems forced and artificial. Bad writing and half-assed acting? Not a good combo. Of course, we have the beautiful Jennifer Love Hewitt to keep our eyes open. I liked how she performed a few songs for the soundtrack. I think I'm about the only one who bought her CDs, so I'm probably the only one who recognized her singing in the background in two scenes. One of which she's driving in her jeep and listening to her own song on the radio! That I found hilariously ironic. She's a good actress, and has a really good voice. You go, girl! The few funny moments are mostly thanks to the (adult) cameos. Lee Majors plays the local officer. You can't get much cooler than Lee Majors! Anthony Michael-Hall plays a psychotic bus driver who REALLY makes sure his customers pay "exact change only!" Kathy Griffin has a brief cameo as a convenience store clerk. In a juvenile teen flick like this, you just want to applaud and applaud when grown-up actors like these make their appearances. It almost adds a touch of class.As for the plot, faggedaboudit! You can't get any more predictable! One thing that always bugs me out about these movies: The girl who the guy is chasing is always a lot less prettier than the girl (usually his best friend, like in this case) who had the hots for him all along. Marley Shelton is a pretty actress, but that dumb blonde floozie facade should've turned him off from the get-go. Meanwhile, we have the extremely beautiful JLH who has known this guy (Friedle) all his life, and he didn't once consider hooking up with her? Yeah, right! It's just another cheap cinematic conceit that filmmakers abuse to the bone. And the Shelton character is so unappealing, while JLH's very likeable, that you wonder why he went on this whole condom-chasing journey in the first place! It makes no sense.The disappointing thing is George Huang directed this piece of crap! This is the guy who wrote and directed the underrated dark satire "Swimming with Sharks" featuring one of Kevin Spacey's best performances. How did he make the transition from hilarious, biting satire to utter garbage? I think the two films bare no similarity whatsoever, and it's almost impossible to believe they were made by the same director.If your day consists of sitting on the couch watching marathons of "Saved By the Bell" and "California Dreams," this is the film for you!My score: 3 (out of 10)