The title characters are three young men - Steve (Daniel Hirsch), Larry (Tom Shell), and Rip (Jared Moses) - who are veterans of weekend war games. They head out with three female companions - Jamie (Kelli Maroney), Sue (Nicole Rio), and Trish (Crystal Carson) - into the woods to have a good time. They come across an isolated dwelling, and decide to make themselves at home. They do this at their own peril, for the house owner and an associate are evil sadists and not exactly hospitable.Some genre buffs cite this as a forerunner to more modern "torture porn" features like the "Saw" and "Hostel" series, except that it's a lot less explicit in terms of onscreen human suffering. Overall, it's a mildly entertaining thriller, with tones of a slasher at times but which also takes its cue from survival films like "Deliverance". It might not be gory or sexy enough to suit some tastes, but the story is pretty simple and straightforward, and the pacing is more than adequate. The characters, especially Rip, threaten to be overly annoying at first, but become easier to root for as the story progresses. Filmed on the same basic locations as "Friday the 13th Part III", this can boast an early credit for future big time composer Hans Zimmer ("Inception", "The Dark Knight"). Atmosphere is decent, and while the script is often predictable, it does elicit some chuckles from this viewer when it plays out just as he thought it would.The acting is negligible, although to be fair the actors have to mouth a fair amount of inane dialogue. Maroney is the most recognizable of the young cast; viewers familiar with this cute, appealing actress from "Night of the Comet" and "Chopping Mall" will be amused when she's presented with a gun and tells Steve that she doesn't know how to use one. The audience will be struck by the resemblance of the primary antagonist to actor Martin Sheen (you get an ever so slight echo of "Apocalypse Now" here), so it comes as no surprise that the actor in question is Joe Estevez, Martins' brother! (Acting under a pseudonym.)Running a reasonably trim hour and a half, this is watchable enough to not feel like a waste of time.Six out of 10.

THE ZERO BOYS is a typical and average slasher film of the 1980s which just so happens to be directed by Nico Mastorakis, the Greek director responsible for the notorious ISLAND OF DEATH. It suffers a great deal from having an extremely average script which fails to offer up any decent characterisation and instead goes through the motions throughout. The titular characters are a bunch of paintballing enthusiasts who head off to the usual cabin in the woods for a weekend of debauchery before finding themselves targeted by a psychotic killer or two. The film offers some action and some bloodshed, but it tends to veer towards cheese rather than scares and as such is a largely forgettable viewing experience.

The Zero Boys are the best "Weekend Warriors" on the paintball ranch. With feisty newcomer Jamie (Kelli Maroney) in tow, the gang heads out on a classic aimless teen road trip, and wind up at an apparently deserted country house where they proceed to do the things horror teens do: have sex, play games, argue, and split up to maximise their vulnerability. Of course, they are not alone. The yokel hicks are on the loose with knives, and they soon lure the group into the woods – and into a series of traps. The Zero Boys (and Girls) must use their dubious survival skills, and their stash of real guns, to fight back and make it through the night. Although Nico Mastorakis is an uber-trash auteur on the level of Albert Pyun, the first scene is promising: playful in the same way that Vamp toyed with our perceptions in its opening. And the idea of the kids taking the front foot, rather than being out-and-out victims, is an intriguing setup. But it's a swift descent into mediocrity and cliché. "Eat your heart out, Sly," one gun-toting character utters. The film has no problem referencing its contemporaries, including Friday the 13th and The Twilight Zone. It's kinda meta. Ostensibly The Zero Boys is a blend of two classic 80s genres: the teen slasher and the uzi action movie. If only it delivered on the scares or the thrills. In its found footage torture vignettes and its Hunger Games survive-'em-up finale it even prefigures certain modern genres, but in practice we have the usual idiot-plotting schlock, with characters inexplicably going off and doing their own thing to suit audience expectations rather than logic. Kelli Maroney is perhaps most contemporaneously famous for Night of the Comet, another (much better) mid-80s genre mashup. She's different here: less ditzy and more resourceful, and usually the smartest person in the room. She's more than a match for our hero, Steve, played by Daniel Hirsch with the soft-spoken intensity of a young Bruce Dern but without the charisma. The positives: occasionally decent quickfire dialogue; some good 'n' gaudy lighting; the pacing is bang on; and Hans Zimmer's Gothic- synth score is fantastic. What it lacks is the ghoulish humour and gore to match something like Tobe Hooper's The Texas Chain Saw Massacre 2 or Sam Raimi's Evil Dead series. Poor editing and mediocre makeup undermine the best scares (don't open that freezer cabinet!). Throw in some irrelevant slow motion and a frankly meaningless final shot and we're left with a distinctly ordinary entry in the 80s slasher canon.

A group of nerdy paint-ballers and their lady friends go off into the woods where they find a cabin and start partying unaware that they are not alone in this mind-numbingly awful slasher film. Almost bloody, totally suspense-less, horrible direction, atrocious acting, and a complete lack of nudity are just but a few reasons to stay away from this lame Nico Mastorakis sleep-inducer. Saying this is his worst film is saying a a lot as his output is lacking in the competence department to put it mildly. But I feel safe to say just that. It's his worst. Maschocists and insomniacs ONLY apply within.DVD Extras: Merely a theatrical trailer for this film & a trailer for "Glitch" My Grade: F