Horrendous acting quality ruined what could have been a very entertaining movie. dialogue exchange was so painful, I could imagine crapping a box full of razor blades to be more entertaining. A shame, considering the comfortable story line combined with excellent action sequences could have made for something that passes as entertainment, otherwise. Jean-Pierre Castaldi and Tim Roth are the closest things in the movie to an exception, otherwise every other so called "actor's" delivery of the dialogue reminded me of a bad middle school drama club presentation. The sets were at least adequate. The only reason that I pained myself to watch the whole movie though is that the fight scenes were somewhat entertaining. In fact, I ended up reading a book during many of the scenes, as the rest of the movie wasn't even worth my time.

There are some wonderful actors in this interpretation of Alexander Dumas' classic novel--Tim Roth, Stephen Rea, Catherine Deneuve--but sadly the star of the film is Justin Chambers, a young man whose acting is so wooden that you can almost see termites gnawing on him during close-ups. The Three Musketeers themselves are a total afterthought, getting little screen time and absolutely zero character set-up or development. They may as well not be in the film at all. As usual, Roth makes a gourmet meal out of store brand ingredients, and Rea and Deneuve do what they can with their undercooked roles.The film's "hook" was that its action sequences were choreographed by Xin-Xin Xiong, a well known Hong Kong stunt man. Unfortunately it's poorly shot, with much of the action taking place in dimly lit rooms and seemingly edited with a Cuisinart. Two of the scenes are moderately entertaining--a duel between d'Artagnan and some thugs at a pub, and then the final duel between he and Roth's Febre using a series of ladders. But even if you can swallow its video gamey quality, it's not enough--not nearly enough--to save this wretched effort.

The Musketeer (2001): Dir: Peter Hyams / Cast: Justin Chambers, Tim Roth, Mena Suvari, Catherine Deneuve, Stephen Rea: Embarrassing joke that is more content with the sound of clashing swords as they are pulled from their hilts. Title indicates oneness with Justin Chambers witnessing the death of his parents by a ruthless leader who still bares the scar the boy left. This pathetic charade has been used in eighty million other dumb Musketeer movies. It attempts to copy the wonderfully choreographed action of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon but instead it presents the most embarrassing fight sequence to end any movie. This comes off a long list of Peter Hyams directed crap including End of Days and Sudden Death. Acting is horrible with Chambers as the hero and Tim Roth in one of his worst performance as the villain. Mena Suvari's role consists has her being caught naked in a bathtub. "Haven't you ever seen a naked woman before?" she asks as Chambers turns away respectively. Such idiotic hints of innuendo are juvenile in this poorly produced junk. Finally there is Catherine Deneuve who leaves us wondering what an actress of her class and stature doing in a piece of sh*t like this. There have been commercials for dog food that have been better produced than this. This garbage should be buried some place where it will never surface again. Score: 1 / 10

It's France in the 17th century. King Louis XIII is weak and manipulated by Cardinal Richelieu (Stephen Rea). D'Artagnan loses his parents to Richelieu henchman Febre (Tim Roth). A grown d'Artagnan (Justin Chambers) goes to Paris to join the Musketeers. He finds the loyal order disbanded by the deceitful Richelieu. He befriends Porthos (Steve Speirs), Aramis (Nick Moran) and Athos (Jan Gregor Kremp). He falls for the Queen (Catherine Deneuve)'s chambermaid Francesca (Mena Suvari).This version tries to marry the classic French literature with eastern martial arts stunts. The fighting is impressive especially the ladder fight. The acting is muddled with many unfamiliar faces. The story and the construction is messy. Everything is muddy and brown which strips the picture of energy. Other than the fights, nothing is achieved in this new interpretation.