Once I started watching this for free on Amazon Prime - I would never pay money for this crap - it didn't take me long to surmise that this was a movie made for 16 year old boys. About an hour into it, I realized that this thought was premature and unwarranted. This is a movie made for 12 year old boys! In pondering how a festering turd like this gets made and released, I came up with the following scenario. Imagine that a film school dropout inherits a large sum of money from a recently deceased relative. Then imagine that the dropout says to himself, "I'm gonna make a movie that is a slap in the face to all the people who laughed at me when I said that Boondock Saints and Smokin' Aces were the greatest films of all time." Then imagine that he says, "I'll make it the ultimate white supremacist fantasy movie by having the main characters kill off a Mexican gang, a black gang and a Native American gang all before the credits roll." Here's the problem though. He presents the script to the studio and the executives say, "We're not so sure about the whole love-letter-to-Hitler approach. To avoid insinuations of this, we're thinking you make the kid character a differently-abled person. This way, if someone mentions Hitler, we can hit them back with hey, Hitler would have disposed of someone like this kid! Also, we're thinking that Celeste should be Latina and Millard should be black - two minority characters in sympathetic, albeit criminal roles." And just like that, racist crisis averted. But then the film school drop-out says, "I'll make these alterations on one condition. I get to indulge my fantasies of murdering women by having the protagonists easily dispose of an all female gang." The executives respond with, "Whatever kid! It's your funeral."I know, people! I know! I'm a bleeding-heart liberal with my knickers in a bunch. I will concede that this is not an overtly racist or misogynistic movie, but.... come on! I mean, think about it! By the end of this movie, these three white rednecks have killed Mexicans, African Americans, Native Americans and women and their reward is a snazzy new 4x4. The only reason I give it 2 stars and not 1 is because it is watchable at best. In conclusion, I will say this. You could choose to watch this movie or you could choose to pour Mountain Dew and sunflower seeds into a bucket, dunk your head into it and remain submerged for the duration of Toby Keith's "If I Was Jesus," thus inducing a hillbilly coma. Regardless of which one you choose, you will come out of the experience feeling dizzy and dumb.

Unmemorable but passably entertaining action flick stars Clayne Crawford, Travis Fimmel, and Daniel Cudmore as Brick, McQueen, and Lincoln Oodie, three outlaw redneck brothers. They eke out a meager existence as killers for hire. They agree to take on a different sort of job for the comely Celeste (Eva Longoria). She wants somebody to rescue her godson Rob (Thomas Brodie-Sangster) from her ex-husband Carlos (Billy Bob Thornton), a despicable lowlife. As the boys pick up Rob and hightail it from Texas to 'Bama, various thugs are sent to tail them.The plot is pretty routine, and the presentation by director / co-writer Barry Battles is heavily stylized. Much of it plays like a comic book, not just the back story of the three protagonists. Bit by bit it gets a little more serious, and the characters get fleshed out a little more. The pacing, sun baked photography, and production design are all adequately done. It's fairly violent and gory, with a couple of mildly amusing action set pieces.The most fun comes from watching an interestingly chosen cast. Crawford, Fimmel, and Cudmore have some chemistry. Andre Braugher plays a 'Bama sheriff with a laid back approach to law enforcement. Michael Rapaport has a good cameo as a bar owner. Renowned stuntwoman and actress Zoe Bell plays one of a gang of ruthless, sexy hit women.Aficionados of white trash cinema and die hard action lovers should get some enjoyment out of "The Baytown Outlaws".Six out of 10.

Mr. Battles and Mr. Hood should be lassoed quickly by people who make very big and deeply dark movies about criminals and corruption - the creativity and innovation are stunning. They deserve the best the industry has to offer. Can't wait to see them do other genres too --This is a must see for crime - amazing writing, directing, cinematography and acting - excellent casting all the way around - these guys are very agile in all the stunts as well - fight choreography the best - But, behind all the mayhem and blood is the sly, continuous humor and vast intelligence of the creators and their understanding of very lost humans - all that and Billy Bob to boot!

This movie is nothing but the poor man's version of what Quentin Tarantino has done for the past 15 years (and I'm not his biggest fan...); Strained, rather than cool, dialogue. Mediocre, standard grainy, cinematography straight from the world of commercials. Idiot rednecks who have stupid discussions about childish topics - and the ever present, odd "intellectual" discussion about trivia children like to discuss. Something we learned to tire of already after the Silver Surfer discussion in 'Crimson Tide' (1995), involving Denzel Washington and Danny Nucci (who?).Andre Braugher and Billy Bob Thornton have never been worse - and I really like these actors, even when they make standard fodder. But this movie is below that. 'The Baytown Outlaws' is pure grade C, a straight-to-video crapfest for horny adolescents - and so is their acting. It's embarrassing to watch - just as all the fake reviews are here on IMDb from the movie productions' publicity team. Some of them were even written a month prior to its release...avoid! Rent or buy 'Bellflower' (2011) instead and watch an inventive film instead of a Tarantino wannabe crap-o-rama!