Three couples decide to party the night away at the abandoned estate of film star Lance Hayward. Hayward was a Fairbanks and Flynn type in the 1920s, but has been missing for the past 20 years so his place is scheduled to be demolished. The kids encounter an unruly biker couple (the female half being Michelle Bauer) just before Hayward starts killing them in methods patterned after his top films. This is another one of those "how did this get made" films, but is an easy way to pass 90 minutes. There is plenty of graphic gore and some nudity (from Bauer, naturally). The old Hollywood star angle could have worked better had they put more thought into it and the production benefits from use of several Fairbanks productions. It is never explained why he is still so agile in 1987 or how he can survive a huge fire with no problem. Top billed John Ireland (who is the last incarnation of Hayward) and Cameron Mitchell get rough 5 minutes of screen time. Also top billed Alan Hale, Aldo Ray and Dan Haggerty get roughly 3 minutes of screen time each.

"Terror Night" is a fine and impressive slasher entry.**SPOILERS**After hearing a strange news report, friends Jake Nelson, (Alan Hale Jr.) Kathy, (Staci Greason) Chip, (William Butler) Todd, (John Wildman) Greg, (Ken Abraham) Sherry, (Jaime Summers) and Lorraine, (Carla Baron) decide to head over to investigate. Realizing it's the house of old-time movie star Lance Hayward, (John Ireland) they rummage through the house looking for a good time. Realizing they are not alone, they into Angel, (Timothy Elwell) and Jo, (Michelle Bauer) also hanging out at the house. Slowly dawning that they're disappearing one-by-one, they come across a killer killing them off in the inspiration from several of the actors biggest films, and they race to get away before becoming prey for the madman.The Good News: This one here was actually pretty good. The fact that there's a really enjoyable and unique storyline to this, which is a little off-the-wall, manages to derive some fun parts to it. As it's about a famous Hollywood actor trying to regain his past through using his best-known gimmicks as the basis for killing people off, there's a lot to this one which sticks out. This one has some nice stuff to come along with that, as the killer in this does tend to dress up appropriate to the kill, dressing up like a samurai when he uses a knife or a jungle explorer to kill them using bows and arrows, which is really well-done for what's happening in the scene. That also means that the kills in here are actually rather good and gory, which always helps. There's a great decapitation, an impaling in the back with a spear, one grabbed around the neck and forced backward, breaking the neck, another is thrown out a window and lands on a picket fence, a meat hook to the head and the highlight, being tied to a tree with a rope attached to a car that then snaps the person in half. It's a fantastic way to open in the film and serves as a really great introduction to the rest of the film, which is just as bloody and brutal. This one also has a great amount of suspense in this, which comes from several superb stalking scenes that deserve some good points. The main one through the house has a great air to it, with the first realization of the killer being there is actually good, searching for the group and stumbling upon the other friends is all good stuff. There's also the film's high quality nudity, which is always nice and here comes through with two great scenes, where a couple take a bath together and a later one where another couple are stumbled upon sleeping with each other. They both provide nice nudity, and along with the other factors, provide the film's good points.The Bad News: There wasn't much to this one that didn't work. The ending here is the biggest one in the film, as it has a couple points wrong with it. The main one is that it forces the ending in the house to feel really cheated, ending before it has a chance to get going. There's not even a fairly decent chase through the house from the killer, as it just bursts into fire before there's anything done with it. That's probably the biggest part of this, as there's no real reason why this one had to be done in such a manner without including at least one chase for this. That would've also eliminate the really uncomfortable ending that plagues the film, which here is really terrible. There's the rather painful and confusing addition of the policemen into the story, plus there's the just plain confusing manner in which the film ends, with the costumed re-enactment of a play with each other, and it leads to perhaps one of the lamest and bloodless deaths in the history of the genre. It's just really flawed and doesn't make much sense. The other flaw to this is that there's too much of the old-time advertisements to this, and it's hard to enjoy this because of that. These here are the film's bad points.The Final Verdict: An incredibly enjoyable slasher that has a lot going for it and manages to mostly make up for it's few flaws. Recommended for fans of the style of 80s slashers or find this one relatively interesting, though those who aren't big on slashers should heed caution with this one.Rated R: Graphic Violence, Graphic Language, Full Nudity and a sex scene

1920s film star Lance Hayward is missing to the world at large, but people begin mysteriously dying around his abandoned estate. Three teen couples (including a woman who is a huge fan of the presumably deceased actor) end up going there on an otherwise boring weekend and rummaging through the place. They find old movie props, a locked vault, nitrate movie cans (that come in handy during the fiery finale) and some other interesting things until they start disappearing one by one. There are also a few barely-seen Zoot Suit-wearing phantoms who lurk around the woods and use two cars to pull a guy in half. Director Nick Marino's contribution to the 80s slasher cycle does not fully overcome the familiarity of the premise, but stylistically he is trying something a little bit different, beginning with mock silent screen credits and a great song by Ian Whitcomb which is also an effective evocation of the Golden Age of Hollywood. Before each murder, we get a flurry of movie clips from anonymous films and comic-book like shots of movie stills and lobby cards, all edited with quick precision and all tinted monochrome, so it doesn't look as sloppy as it otherwise would have. The clips may also explain why this film did not find a wide release until about fifteen years after it was made (the filmmaker may have come across some copyright problems when using this footage). The special effects are certainly bloody enough and there are a variety of murders here. A man is pulled apart by two cars, a hand is chopped off, someone is impaled on a picket fence and there's a pretty good decapitation (followed by a bloody head on a platter gag). Other deaths involve everything from a bow and arrow to fencing sword. The sets are minimal, but effective. But the screenplay could have definitely used another polish; the stereotyped characters are thrown into the mix with a killer who is not only wholesale boogie-man material but whose motivations and reason for existing are so hopelessly muddled that you never know for sure just what he is or why he is doing what he's doing. The clarity is almost non-existent, but I assumed the man is a ghost since he pops up all over the place and appears in both youthful and elderly forms. But, hell, by the time it's all over with, you can't totally hate this one. After all, somehow it ends up letting the cultured heavy and lone female survivor do some passionate Shakespearian stage work somewhere in limbo!Now get ready for some major name dropping. The credits on this film read like a who's-who of exploitation of the 1980s. As with most slasher films from the period, the performances are highly variable. The veterans in the cast all have about one scene each and get through BLOODY MOVIE with a bare minimum of embarrassment. Aldo Ray is a wino who gets a hook in the head, Dan Haggerty is impaled, Cameron Mitchell is a detective who is strangled and hung and Alan Hale, Jr. (The Skipper from Gilligan's Island) is a wide-eyed security guard (and the only one without a death scene). John Ireland receives top billing as the killer, but he doesn't even materialize on-screen until the very end (though to his credit, it is still a creepy cameo). Of the younger cast, we have some familiar faces; Bill Butler (LEATHERFACE, NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD remake), Ken Abraham (CREEPOZOIDS), Carla Baron and John Stuart Wildman (both from SORORITY BABES IN THE SLIMEBALL BOWL-O-RAMA), and 'Denise Stafford' (that's her head on the platter on the DVD cover; Stafford apparently is a porn actress who goes by the name Jamie Summers). Though leading lady Staci Greason (who played the first victim in Friday THE 13TH, PART VII) is quite good and gives the most professional showing of the younger cast, it is Michelle Bauer who steals this film away from her co-stars with a full blown comedic performance. She carries on quite capably here and nails the most laughs as a drunken punker chick who ends up stumbling her way through the mansion with her annoying biker boyfriend before getting whipped and pushed down a flight of stairs. I appreciate the filmmakers for having the common sense to keep her around until near the end. Though I am sad to report that sleaze great Jay Richardson, who is in just as many of the schlock horror films as Michelle, is barely visible as one of the forest-lurking phantoms.Originally titled TERROR NIGHT, this was worked on by a lot of prolific and familiar Z-movie production people. It was co-scripted by Kenneth J. Hall (who also helped cast the film), was co-produced by Nancy Paloian (producer of DUDE, WHERE'S MY CAR?, hence the misleading packaging) and shot by Howard Wexler. The special effects are by Cleve Hall (who was also the 2nd unit director, along with porn purveyor Fred J. Lincoln) and John Vulich helped shoot and edit it. Given special thanks in the end credits are Andre de Toth (the director of the original version of HOUSE OF WAX; he lent directorial assist to Marino and is actually listed on here as being the co-director), David DeCoteau and Fred Olen Ray.

Lance Hayward's Terror Night was one of the surprisingly large amounts of slasher movies that inexplicably vanished from existence very soon after it was initially unleashed in the eighties. Actually, whilst trying unrewardingly to search out some information on the flick's production, I came across a statement from notorious B-movie mogul Fred Olen Ray - that said it never even acquired an US release. I guess that would of course, explain why it seems to have completely disappeared from cinema history. If it wasn't for the odd user comment posted on the IMDb or the fact that I managed to track down a copy (without a cover), I'd be inclined to believe that it was still laying in a vault somewhere, waiting for a label to pick it up for circulation. Information on whether or not it was shelved would be much appreciated from anyone who knows the facts of its history. I'm starting to believe that it may have surfaced briefly outside America only, which explains the reader's reviews and the fact that this copy has Dutch subtitles. If that is the case, and it was withheld in its country of origin, then it's pretty hard to imagine a reason why it never gained the exposure it deserved. It really isn't all that bad - certainly no worse than the majority of bottom-of-the-barrel genre-pieces that were appearing around '87. It's a damn site better than schlocksters like The Last Slumber Party or the incredibly awful Blood Lake turned out to be. On top of that, it's a lot more original.Nick Marino's splatter opus even boasts one or two alluring qualities that may have allowed it to garner cult status, if it was given the proper chances. Firstly, legendary one-eyed filmmaker Andre De Toth supposedly shot a few scenes and offered his overall guidance to the director; and secondly it plays a great deal like a more successful and charmingly remembered horror film from the early eighties, Fade to Black. Although a few of the necessary trappings were firmly in place, FTB wasn't really a slasher movie by any length of chalk. It was mainly notable for a brief early appearance from Mickey Rourke, just before he hit the big time with Diner and Rumble Fish respectively. This on the other hand, is stalk and slash to the core, but chucks in a few winsome alterations to the traditional formula that I actually found fairly engaging. There's a few imaginative murders, some great disguises for the killer and even a brief cameo from grumpy old horror movie favourite, Cameron Mitchell. Amusingly enough, he's billed as the star, even though he turns up for two minutes tops, and then disappears quicker than a rabbit with an amphetamine addiction. He later made a lucrative habit of showing up and sodding off in slashers like Memorial Valley Massacre and Jack-O. In fact, the only genre movies that he could have rightly been credited as any kind of lead were The Toolbox Murders and The Demon. At least in both of those, he actually bothered to hang around for more than a snippet of dialogue or two.After a neat credit sequence that's deliberately modelled on those of late '20s cinema, (it even includes a corny 'rag-time' melody a la Al Jolson!), we leap headfirst into the action. We're shown a dilapidated mansion that once housed legendary Hollywood screen star Lance Hayward. Hayward was immensely popular in his day, starring in a number of successful hit-movies before he retired and disappeared into seclusion. Attempts to track down the actor's whereabouts have been unsuccessful. Some say that he relocated to Switzerland and changed his name, while others believe that he must have passed on to the big IL' silver screen in the sky. It's unlikely that he's still alive and kicking, as nowadays he would be over ninety years old. Due to the authority's failure to track him down, a real-estate agent and a Lawyer have arranged to meet at the property and negotiate the building's sale. They plan to demolish what's left of the once beautiful abode, so that they can use the space to develop something more useful than the ageing eyesore. First of the two to turn up is the estate agent, only he's a little early, so instead of waiting with the amiable 'security guard' (who really doesn't look too reassuring); he decides inexplicably to drive out into the dense forest that surrounds the grounds and wait amongst the trees. Of course, in a slasher movie, lone-trips into the woodland usually mean that someone's about to suffer a painful death; - and this one certainly isn't trying to break the mould in that respect either! A psycho that's dressed in prohibition-era gangster attire, jumps out of the bushes and clumps the unlucky fellow on the back of the neck, effectively knocking him to the ground. He drags the unconscious guy over to a tree and ties his arms around the trunk, before attaching his legs to the rear bumper of his automobile. The luckless seller awakens just in time to learn that he's about to be ripped in half by a totally out of period Frank Nitti impersonator, with some serious animosities towards estate agents! The actual murder (which is nice and gooey) is mixed with stock footage that we later learn is a collection of scenes from Hayward's history of movie-making. As in the tradition of Fade to Black, each murder is themed by one of his fictional screen credits, and he wears a prominent guise for each bloody deed. The Lawyer shows up and the security guard stops him to reminisce about a flick called The Mobster and The Lady, in which Lance's character killed a 'rat' using exactly the same methods that we just saw rehashed on that decidedly unfortunate visitor. It's beginning to look like the star has returned to forcibly reclaim his property, and he's not willing to negotiate the sale possibilities with any money-snatching property-developers. But admittedly, his reappearance does kind of beg the question: If this guy's meant to be in his nineties, then I can't really see him being too much of an agile homicidal maniac. 'The psychotic geriatric' doesn't exactly sound terrifying, does it? I know that Michael Myers' slo-mo stalking was creepy, but maybe a Zimmer-frame is taking things just a little bit too far?Following the discussion, the guard is sent home and the attorney meets a sticky end courtesy of a spear through the stomach. Again, the slaughter is inter-cut with scenes from one of Hayward's previous cinematic successes, this time it was 'Pride of the Bengal Lancers'! Just so that no one thinks that we're watching a sequel to that cheesy old anti-estate agent slasher, Open House; we meet a gang of typical eighties teens - all hairspray and heavy metal - that chuck us into more formulaic and instantly recognisable territory. Every one of the six youngsters is little more than an overused cliché, from the nerdy movie-geek to the loud-mouthed insensitive pair that look certain to suffer a gruesome fate for their apparent over-brashness. They all meet up at an apartment where the six-O-clock news plays on the television, and the major topic is the fate of Lance Hayward's estate. One dim-witted bimbo that's sure to regret the extent of her imagination comes up with the idea that they should drive up to the house and take one last look around before it's bulldozed into oblivion. They all agree on the plan and pile aboard Todd's van for the journey. Unbeknown to them, there's already a pair of rowdy rockers with very similar motivation en-route to the mansion, which takes the body count possibilities up to a whopping eight should-be victims…Whilst heading up to the foreboding mansion they bump into a drunken hobo (Aldo Ray) who's staggering around the grounds, giving us his best Crazy Ralph impersonation. He stops to incoherently warn the youngsters that there's a murderous psychopath roaming the woodland, before donating some corn syrup to Hayward, who this time is cunningly dressed as a Pirate. Of course, his warnings don't do much to discourage the eager beavers, and neither does the sure to be surviving girl's brief sightings of an ominous shape lurking suspiciously between the trees. They carry on up to the property and discover that a window has already been broken to summon them inside the intriguing location. Once they've entered, they find plenty of nostalgic memorabilia littering the vast foreboding rooms and a few patent signs that they're not alone, which (of course) they fail to take into account. Before long, each of them comes up with a comical reason to take a fateful stroll that (of course) only leads them back to their agent's hopeful waiting list. On their journey into obscurity, they meet up with the resident psychopath and suffer one of his fairly imaginative ideas for cinematic slaughter... As I said previously, Terror Night is un-deserving of its impossible to locate status. To be honest, I found it to be a mindlessly diverting splatter romp, with a few authentic elements that work to its credit. It's fairly gooey in places and the killer's vast array of slaughter methods and themed-disguises were distinguished and actually quite enjoyable. I especially liked the armour, which was used to a similar effect by David Hess in that underrated slasher from 1980 - To all a Goodnight. The masked-desperado and Robin Hood were two other humorous camouflages, and there's a big enough bloodbath for him to don an impressive number of costumes. The use of old movies to accompany the murders was an interesting touch; although I must admit that I'm considering the fact that these additions may have had something to do with the flick's total disappearance. The end-credits do not acknowledge that the footage was borrowed from old Douglas Fairbanks movies, and one has to wonder whether Marino infringed a few copyright issues, which eventually resulted in the film being shelved? It's only an assumption, but I'm pretty sure that something must have landed this otherwise promising debut - deep into troubled waters. Although the synopsis of 'teens exploring a derelict abode' may sound tediously formulaic, things don't follow suit as closely as you'd expect from a regular genre-piece. Instead of just keeping the traditional surviving heroine, it takes a completely different root, which of course I won't spoil for you. Unfortunately, it isn't plain sailing all the way through, and Terror Night does suffer a few too many conspicuous flaws. It's inadequately lighted to the point of frustration in places, and it lacks the visual gloss that made a few of its counterparts more memorable. The most obvious blemish that plagues this faded armour is the fact that it doesn't even bother to solve the mystery that was built throughout the runtime. We never get a comprehensible answer as to what Lance Hayward actually was. Even after the conclusion, we still never learn if he's a ghost, a zombie or just a normal bloke blessed with extremely youthful looks for a ninety-year-old? The intriguing cast looked about as inspired as a geriatric tortoise, which proved to be a real disappointment considering the strength of the possibilities. I mean, how many slasher flicks can you name that boast Michelle Bauer and porn starlet Jamie Summers stark naked as the eye candy, while regular cult slummers like Cameron Mitchell and John Ireland provide the grizzled leather? It seemed that even the more seasoned actors like Dan Haggerty and Aldo Ray had swallowed a lump of ham before reluctantly signing up for this little beauty. But no amount of sloppy dramatics or lazy lighting could prepare me for the shockingly miss-placed final scene, which breaks all boundaries of nonsensical narrative to helm a close that's…well, 'bizarre' just isn't a strong enough description. Obviously I won't be a pooper and ruin it all for you, so I'll just leave you with a little clue: What would a psychotic 'thespian' do that Jason Voorhees couldn't? It was 'jaw to the floor' time once again, I can tell ya! Terror Night is one of the few slasher movies that had the potential to be a lot better than it eventually ended up, but somehow lost its way between the months of pre-production and the final days of shooting. It's a shame that we'll probably never find out how it might have turned out if it had achieved a better backing from a bigger studio. To be honest, this looks as if it may have suffered a bit of a muddled production, and the fact that it took two directors to finish it invites even more of a twist to the conundrum. Still, for fans looking for an extremely rare genre-piece, it does deliver the goods on a few levels. It's packed to the brim with hokey gore and there's some excessive nudity that always interests fans of exploitation. It's just that it never really manages to excel above moderately watchable. Shame really