A couple of cute boys is about all there is for this film to hang its hat on -- Jack Baxter as Midget being the best of the lot. The movie drags terribly and the audio is lousy. Acting is wretched and there isn't much of an ending, either. Come to think of it, don't waste your time. I hope to see the Baxter kid doing other work because he's the only bright spot in the thing. Gay cinema BEGS for more happy endings like "Regarding Billy," so why aren't there more of them?The storyline regarding the living arrangements of the girl and her aunt were odd. Very strange, indeed. Not at all believable. And Midget's mother never out of the bed so we could see her face is kinda lame. Surprised she even got a credit at the end. Was she a drunk? A drug addict? WHAT? That was never explained. And the part about no one knowing who Midget's father was is also a mystery that's never explained, either.Then, there's the silly thing about the gay teacher having had sex with Cassidy four years earlier: What TRIPE! I'm telling you, the plot in this yawner was terrible! And the director handled this part of the story so badly, it might as well have been left out. It was supposed to have been the part of the story that triggered the behavior of some of the other characters, but it was dealt with quite poorly!Imagine Cassidy having had an affair with his sexy teacher four years back and then running off in disgrace. But after returning and hooking up with Midget, he walks in on the teacher kissing Midget in the showers. Corny. If that's not bad enough, then Cassidy proceeds to "whip up" on the teacher during the shower scene, leaving him with a broken arm.But in the final scene, we see the same teacher and Cassidy sailing off into the sunset on a ferry. The teacher has one arm in a sling and the other around Cassidy and he's kissing Cassidy on the cheek. While poor Midget is left humiliated and alone on the dock where Cassidy has just tossed him over in favor of the teacher.Give me a MAJOR break!Nobody would DO that! Midget's just too cute and irresistible. And after getting mauled like that by Cassidy, the teacher would NEVER go back to the kid that had beaten him up. Just wouldn't happen. Bad storyline.The only socially redeeming part was that Midget finds the only other gay guy his own age in the film and has sex with him in the bathroom. (Hmmm ... kinda thought they might wind up together.) Gets a "3" for the 2 cute guys.

As somebody who has criticized many badly made American gay movies, I must blushingly admit that Australia has now joined the ranks of the incompetent in his field.The premise of Tan Lines is good, if familiar, and the two boy lovers, played by Jack Baxter and Daniel O'Leary, are effective. In fact, Baxter is perfectly cast as the lovely, attractive teenager and is a reasonable actor. O'Leary is almost as good as the troubled older boy, Cass. Their love scenes are the best things in the film. In fact, without Jack Baxter the film would be a complete waste of time. You really do want him to get his man. Apart from a few good jokes, the rest is appalling. The acting rarely rises above that of a third rate amateur theatrical group.The director Ed, continually misjudges the film's pace, relying on long shots of the surf when he should have left most of it on the cutting room floor and lifted the pace of the film. He mis-casts the brothers Cass and Dan, so that the ineptly acted younger brother Dan is 16 and looks about 23, whilst his older gay brother Cass looks about 20.The opening shot, that of Jack Baxter asleep with his headphones on, goes on and on and on. Why? Surely it can't be so that we can have the joyous experience of listening to the crappy rock music that boys of his type seem addicted to? There are some interesting and quirky moments which in a better film would have been effective. The fact that the boy sleeps with his abandoned mother, clearly in very difficult circumstances, emphasizes the shallow life that many in the film lead. (In a nice touch we never see her, only her sleeping body buried under bedclothes.) The loony aunt of the boy's putative girlfriend (easily the most dreadful piece of acting I can recall) lives a large house almost empty of furniture. What goes on there is bizarre, and again, could have been delicious in a better film.Sadly, Tan Lines is just a badly made, badly scripted, badly acted and overlong film. I can almost guarantee that apart from Christian Willis as the teacher, none of the cast is professional and boy does it show. The last thing this film is is a gem, or anything else of substance.

It would be difficult to imagine a worse plot, crummier script, sloppier direction or more lack-lustre acting (but I don't blame the actors).Tan Lines pushes the envelope only in terms of what a viewer is willing to put up with in an effort to support queer cinema.There's some very careless film-work e.g. with the reflection of camera crew in clear view in one indoor night shot.No budget is so small that it would excuse what we see here as the final edit.The technical quality of the DVD is particularly low - but I'm guessing it is as good as it would ever get.The storyline is pure farce mixed with a liberal dash of the absurd. The intention is supposedly to tell a gay teen surfer's coming of age story, but the characters are simply not believable - and they're all terminally morose. This film has far too much teen angst and far too little heart.Only "Crazy Richard" gives "Tan Lines" a run for its money as the all time worst Australian film.

With a taste of Larry Clark's teen angst and desperation but without the moral emptiness of Clark's "kids", the teens in this Aussie film do care for each other and for the most part "do the right thing." The surreal scenes: a geriatric drunken game of strip poker, a chorus of Christian wall images occasionally commenting on the action, a Gothic setting where the "hero" Midget "works" (too bizarre to describe and ruin it for you), all these make it interesting. That Midget is struggling (but not too much) with working out his gay desires along with a try for a girl doesn't compete with the dreariness of every day life and the hope to leave this dismal town.If a modest goal is to make the viewer care about the people and the plot, this movie achieved that goal and more. The photography was effective with snappy cuts from one scene to another.