I'm not doing a review of the entire film because quite frankly it's not worth my time. I'm here to let off just a little bit of steam about a pet peeve of mine when it comes to screenplay writers. Why can't they seem to remember what they've already written and keep the continuity? How hard can it be? This is not really a spoiler but here's my example from the film. First off we're told that Mister and Martin are headed "north, always north" to get away from the major outbreak of vampires, which, btw, are The most zombie-like vamps I've ever seen. During their drive, the boy, in his narration, says they haven't seen any vamps lately, exclaiming that Mister says it's because they're in the highlands. That vamps are cold-blooded, like reptiles, and as soon as they get back into the low-lands they'd start seeing them again. And sure enough, they do. Ok. Fine. We have a premise here. However, sometime later we come upon a vamp wearing a Santa suit standing in the middle of the road. They dispatch him, and then discover and rescue a man tied up nearby in a port-a-potty, left there as vamp bait, he said. Whilst recanting his story to our friends, he says the military recalled everyone from the Middle East and he'd then been deployed to help evacuate Canada (I know, but that's how he said it). So, anyone catch my point? If vamps are cold-blooded, like reptiles, as we've been led to believe, then what the hell are they doing in Canada? As a final comment it's worth it to note there's just not that much dialogue in this movie that the writer should forget any part of it. Then again, perhaps Mister was just wrong and I'm an overly critical viewer. If you've seen it, you decide. If not, don't watch it just to form an opinion; it's not worth the time. Just go ahead and assume I'm right.

This movie is.... the worst 1.30 h of my life i ever wasted. I wish there was a minus score so i could properly say how much this movie suckt big fat dic*s. I never gave a review before but had to make one on this site just to warn all of you for the sake of sanity.... for the sake of the whole human race. Funny enough the director of this movie is also the main character and makes himself look so badass which is pathetic. If you don't like movies that are all doom and gloom and where there is almost no hope then stay away from this abomination. PLZ BUY ME A TIME MACHINE SO I CAN EARESE THIS TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE.thank you.

Cast aside any notion of nice, pretty-boys twinkling vampires and replace them with old school vampy monsters, more akin to zombies with snarling, distorted faces and a distinct inability in dying (properly, you understand). However, despite being an unashamed monster movie, Stake Land feels surprisingly subdued for a recent horror film. With its melancholic tone, ravaging of the religious right and focus on characters over action, the film succeeds in being a bit more thoughtful than many of its contemporaries. With fairly few jumps or scenes that are likely to scare a grizzled horror fan, Stake Land is easier to recommend for its realistic world-building, mournful soundtrack and interesting, well-drawn characters.As a boy Martin was orphaned when his whole family was eaten by a vampire, but he survived by being taken under the wing of enigmatic father figure and teacher, Mister. The film goes on at an unusually slow pace and painstakingly constructs a very authentic feeling vision of post-apocalyptic America. Guarded communities living in fear while supplies dwindle, drinking and sleeping together in packed bars until the sun rises and religious nuts taking over the wilderness to rape and murder as they please.The film is most memorable for its details of life after the vampires take over. The small communities that have popped up round the country feel realistic and lived in. A sense of community, as if the vampire apocalypse may help America return to a simpler, more caring time.Stake Land is a very well made film and can be enjoyed as a simple horror film but also as an experience of a post-apocalyptic society and the highs and lows of living in a world with a drastically reduced population.

To be perfectly honest this movie would probably be received better if it was not advertised as a vampire movie. Because I think most people, when they think about vampire, think some handsome man or sexy women who lure people into a dark alley and feed on them.The creatures in Stake Land are nothing of the sort. They are dark, vicious, gruesome monsters which are more like a rabid dog than a person. And boy do they do their job well.The movie itself has a sort of authenticity to it which you wont see in most vampire movies. For some reason the whole thing feels almost real and maybe that is because it combines the ruthlessness of vampires with the heinous sadism of some humans to create a melting pot of post apocalyptic waste land.But there are good people as well and even some creatures, such as children vampires, so called scamps, which do not seem all too hostile.So if you want to see the best vampire movie ever then forget all which you know about vampires and get immersed in a cruel, dark post apocalyptic world.