We almost got out of it, that bottomless pick of garbage. But this film ended our chances, it breaks my heart. But I think the horror genre is dead, and that's why this is the worst horror film ever made. The acting is horrible, the story is abysmal, its hilarious to watch this horrible accident unfold in front of your eyes.

After watching this movie I was enlightened into the octopuses garden. I was sitting in the theater and I realized that if you say slenderman backwards it spells sucon, sucon these toes boi. My favorite part of the movie is during the oversong the font was absolutely phenomenal. During the annual linguini festival I believe the slender man gains some weight because he enjoys the pound cake served during afternoon tea. But the reason this movie is a classic is purely due to the movie itself brilliantly done Sylvain White!

I really don't know what to say. Acting was wooden and stilted as hell. Only memorable parts of the soundtrack were the many sudden piano sounds and other cliché (DUN!!!) jumspcare noises that played over everything. EVERYTHING. Even things that aren't scary (Example: There's a scene where a librarian walks past the screen and apprently it's supposed to scare you as evidenced by the sound cue, but the problem is: she's not doing or saying anything scary. She just walks past looking like she's lost. Like how was that scary????). That's just about the only thing I can even recall as the story and dialogue were easily the most forgettable part of the whole movie. Actually, there almost IS NO STORY. All I remember is that 4 girls in high school summon Slenderman by going onto some forum or chat room and clicking on a link to a video that makes Slenderman come after you after watching it (which is already stupid on it's own, by the way. If that's all you had to do to get him to come get you, wouldn't the whole world be dead already?). After that, things just happen with no rhyme or reason and with no real consistency. Sometimes Slenderman decides to take victims immediately, sometimes he decides to let victims get away even when he has no reason to and the perfect opportunity to just take them. Slenderman himself looks like a poorly rendered Playstation 1 game model. They actually had an actor play as him? When??? He looks like he was built completely from scratch in CGI but done in like 2 minutes. Way too much CGI and way too lazily done! I'd also just like to point out that some of the best scenes from the trailer are NOWHERE in the movie. Like the eyeball stabbing or the guy throwing himself off the roof or the cops finding that pale girl in a field holding something in her hands. The most interesting parts of the trailer: completely cut from the film. Overall, I was really hoping for this to turn out good, but then again, this was made by Sony. So I really should have seen this coming the second it was first announced. If you're wiiling to basically turn your brain off for an hour and half and you're VERY easily scared, you might like this. But me? I'm gonna go re-play some of the awesome Slender games like The Eight Pages, Sanitorium, and The Arrival and just forget this ever existed. Leave it to Sony to make disappointing half-assed cash-ins on whatever is or was trendy. :(

'SLENDER MAN': Three Stars (Out of Five)A horror flick about a group of high school girls who attempt to prove that Slender Man (a popular internet supernatural character) doesn't actually exist, and then one of them turns up missing. It was directed by Sylvain White, written by David Birke, and it stars Joey King, Goldani Telles, Jaz Sinclair, Annalise Basso and Javier Botet (in the title role). The film did well at the Box Office, but it got horrible reviews from critics and moviegoers. I thought it was decently made, and effective in some ways. It's obviously nothing special or original though, but watchable enough if you like horror movies.