For those who don't know, the SHAKE RATTLE AND ROLL films are a long-running horror franchise that have been going in the Philippines for the last couple of decades. Each is a horror anthology, typically consisting of three stories which have a lightness of touch. They're available online in Tagalog with English subtitles for the most part.Number eight in the series and my first exposure to the franchise hasn't been a very good one. This is a cheap, overlong production which screams cliché throughout and is happy to copy bits and pieces of other, better horrors from both Hollywood and Asia, with the Japanese ghost story genre a particular inspiration. The production values are low, the acting often crass, and the characterisation paper-thin.The first story here is about a party being held on a cursed thirteenth floor of a building. The emphasis is on cheesy comedy which doesn't translate too well. The second story is the most serious and about a children's nanny who just so happens to be a vampire. It's just about passable. The third tale is a cheese-fest about train passengers being stalked by a CGI monster and goes on way too long; it's also ridiculous.

The only Shake Rattle & Roll (awesome name for a horror franchise) I'd seen before this was one I rented On Demand, the description of which didn't bother to mention the installment was in Tagalog with no English subtitles. I still sat through it, more or less, and could still see it had some very creepy images and even plot twists.The first story is the weakest, more a comedy than horror. Set-up for "The 13th Floor" sounded promising, but it's played as a comedy (and didn't succeed as one). The CGI was used in a slightly original way, but the effects were terrible enough that it just screeched to a halt. In fact, the FX, combined with the predictability of the plot, almost made the whole movie screech to a halt for me. However, before I kicked it out of the DVD player, I started looking at reviews online and saw most said the middle segment made SR&R 8 worth a rental. They were right, and I'm glad I watched the entire movie."Yaya" is indeed the most memorable of the lot, about an especially cute little boy who suspects something isn't right with his new nanny. His fears are confirmed, as he learns the folklore about "aswangs" from his teacher. Naturally, his mother and aunt just roll their eyes and assume someone's been telling him ghost stories. He sets out to discover a way to protect him and his baby sister, but soon realizes he may be in way over his head. The actor that plays the boy is really talented; I've seen a lot of terrible kid actors in foreign (and American) horror, so my expectations were low. Instead I was very impressed, this kid is talented. The segment probably wouldn't have worked as well if they hadn't cast an actor who could portray fear, as well as love for his family and protectiveness towards his baby sister so convincingly. Honestly, the majority of kids in horror movies get on my nerves, but I just wanted to give him a big hug. The aswang is genuinely frightening, enough that I decided partway through this installment that maybe it hadn't been a clever idea to watch it with all the lights off, and pause the movie to turn on all the lights in the room. As far as I could tell, the effects were mostly practical, and pretty good ones at that.What I read about the third segment, LRT, didn't make it sound like anything special. I turned the lights back off when it started ...then realized I'd fall asleep easier that night with them on again. The subway monster has an original design, and is definitely not something you'd want to catch a glimpse of in an abandoned LRT tunnel (or anywhere for that matter). The characters mainly died in the order I expected them to (until the last 10-15 minutes), but that didn't make it any less entertaining to watch, and there was a pretty clever twist at the end--I didn't see it coming, and the reveal made the whole tone even more dark and creepy. The FX were played just right; the minor use of CGI just enhanced the practical effects. I heard a quote once about cosmetic surgery that I also heard several film-makers paraphrase- it shouldn't be used to turn an apple into an orange, but instead to make the original apple a shinier one. I didn't watch thinking, "Oh hey, there's some interesting CGI", instead I just thought how awesome the shots were in general.So check it out. I'm going to start seeking out other installments, and hope that one story/segment is at least as entertaining as this one.

The first segment of Shake, Rattle and Roll 8 may be forgettable and the last segment may be competent but it's the middle segment that is PURE CULT MOVIE GOLD! In his first mainstream short feature, Toppel Lee comes out with arms swinging and he scores an instant knockout. I've always thought that Filipino folklore is the deepest source of movie magic in this country and Topel knows it, too. His story is about an aswang, as jayexiomo.com says so above, a mythical creature that eats babies, just like Fat Bastard. Nash Aguas, the protagonist of the story, knows that his nanny is a Fat Bastard, and she's out to eat his little sibling. Nobody believes Nash though, because Nash has proved himself to be a prankster who has chased off nannies before. I guess it's like Nanny McPhee, the horror version, though I never did see Nanny McPhee.Anyway the aswang yaya (monster nanny) is played by the beautiful Iza Calzado, and even though I know this girl supposedly can talk like a sailor, she pulls off her scary character perfectly. I mean, how can someone so gorgeous and with a very ample bosom, be a baby eater. Maybe that's how she supplies here ample... anyway.So Topel, the director, is a genius. You know why? Because he knows how to cast people perfectly. He even casted Debraliz as the other mataray (catty) housemaid and Sheryll Cruz as the mom. Perfect! And one can not deny that Toppel gets atmosphere. The whole movie was full of it. You can feel it crackling in the air. When the yaya is going after the baby, the whole movie theater was riveted. I looked around (I like looking around during those moments), and I could feel the utter joy (and roller coaster fear) of the people around me. A new star is born. And his name is Toppel Lee.

Going Bulilit had it right. "Pag nanood ka ng Shake Rattle & Roll 8, ikaw ay manginginig, mangangatal, gugulong at kakain." I was shaken and disturbed by the deterioration and non-development of Pinoy movie imagination. I was rattled to embarrassment by the ripped-off story lines. I rolled on the floor laughing (or at least I wanted to) at the unbelievably unoriginal lines they could just have made a silent movie and everyone would still have understood the entire plot and subplots (if any). And, it would really have been a better idea if I just ate the 120 pesos I spent for the movie. Or, better yet, spend it on UNICEF's text drive. Text ON BATANGPINOY to 2800 for Globe. Dunno bout Smart. (I tried this service just now to check if my memory served me right. And, it replied 'this service is temporarily not available, try again later.' What's up with that? Back to the movie, the best part was the scream-shot of IC Mendoza after the stupid and effortless scrambling away from the killer-monster. The theater actors made the most of what they were given. The Broadway couple came out like swans among turkeys. Eugene Domingo gave it her best I think. The worst non-actor was Bearwin Meily who seemed like he was just having fun at his neighborhood sari-sari store. The dime-a-dozen teens' only talent were their looks. In this country, physical appearance IS a talent.The best scare was a non-SFX scene. Iza Calzado wielding a butcher knife at the kid. Nice!! I wanted to chop off the kid from the very first scene he appeared. Bad direction, the kid (if real) probably had schizophrenia or a really terrible case of personality disorder. They really could've done without the last romantic bit of Keempee & Manilyn just before going out the window to escape from the killer-monster who wins worst rip-off. (Hello M.Night Shyamalan!) My entire being went, "WHAA???"