For those who don't know, the SHAKE RATTLE AND ROLL films are a long-running horror franchise that have been going in the Philippines for the last couple of decades. Each is a horror anthology, typically consisting of three stories which have a lightness of touch. They're available online in Tagalog with English subtitles for the most part.Number eight in the series and my first exposure to the franchise hasn't been a very good one. This is a cheap, overlong production which screams cliché throughout and is happy to copy bits and pieces of other, better horrors from both Hollywood and Asia, with the Japanese ghost story genre a particular inspiration. The production values are low, the acting often crass, and the characterisation paper-thin.The first story here is about a party being held on a cursed thirteenth floor of a building. The emphasis is on cheesy comedy which doesn't translate too well. The second story is the most serious and about a children's nanny who just so happens to be a vampire. It's just about passable. The third tale is a cheese-fest about train passengers being stalked by a CGI monster and goes on way too long; it's also ridiculous.

The only Shake Rattle & Roll (awesome name for a horror franchise) I'd seen before this was one I rented On Demand, the description of which didn't bother to mention the installment was in Tagalog with no English subtitles. I still sat through it, more or less, and could still see it had some very creepy images and even plot twists.The first story is the weakest, more a comedy than horror. Set-up for "The 13th Floor" sounded promising, but it's played as a comedy (and didn't succeed as one). The CGI was used in a slightly original way, but the effects were terrible enough that it just screeched to a halt. In fact, the FX, combined with the predictability of the plot, almost made the whole movie screech to a halt for me. However, before I kicked it out of the DVD player, I started looking at reviews online and saw most said the middle segment made SR&R 8 worth a rental. They were right, and I'm glad I watched the entire movie."Yaya" is indeed the most memorable of the lot, about an especially cute little boy who suspects something isn't right with his new nanny. His fears are confirmed, as he learns the folklore about "aswangs" from his teacher. Naturally, his mother and aunt just roll their eyes and assume someone's been telling him ghost stories. He sets out to discover a way to protect him and his baby sister, but soon realizes he may be in way over his head. The actor that plays the boy is really talented; I've seen a lot of terrible kid actors in foreign (and American) horror, so my expectations were low. Instead I was very impressed, this kid is talented. The segment probably wouldn't have worked as well if they hadn't cast an actor who could portray fear, as well as love for his family and protectiveness towards his baby sister so convincingly. Honestly, the majority of kids in horror movies get on my nerves, but I just wanted to give him a big hug. The aswang is genuinely frightening, enough that I decided partway through this installment that maybe it hadn't been a clever idea to watch it with all the lights off, and pause the movie to turn on all the lights in the room. As far as I could tell, the effects were mostly practical, and pretty good ones at that.What I read about the third segment, LRT, didn't make it sound like anything special. I turned the lights back off when it started ...then realized I'd fall asleep easier that night with them on again. The subway monster has an original design, and is definitely not something you'd want to catch a glimpse of in an abandoned LRT tunnel (or anywhere for that matter). The characters mainly died in the order I expected them to (until the last 10-15 minutes), but that didn't make it any less entertaining to watch, and there was a pretty clever twist at the end--I didn't see it coming, and the reveal made the whole tone even more dark and creepy. The FX were played just right; the minor use of CGI just enhanced the practical effects. I heard a quote once about cosmetic surgery that I also heard several film-makers paraphrase- it shouldn't be used to turn an apple into an orange, but instead to make the original apple a shinier one. I didn't watch thinking, "Oh hey, there's some interesting CGI", instead I just thought how awesome the shots were in general.So check it out. I'm going to start seeking out other installments, and hope that one story/segment is at least as entertaining as this one.

The first segment of Shake, Rattle and Roll 8 may be forgettable and the last segment may be competent but it's the middle segment that is PURE CULT MOVIE GOLD! In his first mainstream short feature, Toppel Lee comes out with arms swinging and he scores an instant knockout. I've always thought that Filipino folklore is the deepest source of movie magic in this country and Topel knows it, too. His story is about an aswang, as jayexiomo.com says so above, a mythical creature that eats babies, just like Fat Bastard. Nash Aguas, the protagonist of the story, knows that his nanny is a Fat Bastard, and she's out to eat his little sibling. Nobody believes Nash though, because Nash has proved himself to be a prankster who has chased off nannies before. I guess it's like Nanny McPhee, the horror version, though I never did see Nanny McPhee.Anyway the aswang yaya (monster nanny) is played by the beautiful Iza Calzado, and even though I know this girl supposedly can talk like a sailor, she pulls off her scary character perfectly. I mean, how can someone so gorgeous and with a very ample bosom, be a baby eater. Maybe that's how she supplies here ample... anyway.So Topel, the director, is a genius. You know why? Because he knows how to cast people perfectly. He even casted Debraliz as the other mataray (catty) housemaid and Sheryll Cruz as the mom. Perfect! And one can not deny that Toppel gets atmosphere. The whole movie was full of it. You can feel it crackling in the air. When the yaya is going after the baby, the whole movie theater was riveted. I looked around (I like looking around during those moments), and I could feel the utter joy (and roller coaster fear) of the people around me. A new star is born. And his name is Toppel Lee.

Fast becoming the Filipino "Friday the 13th" in terms of longevity, Regal Films' horror-comedy franchise "Shake, Rattle and Roll" hits the big screen anew this season with its 8th installment. As usual, three episodes with three different set of filmmakers and actors fill up the film's entire running time and the resulting imbalance of the end product either works for or against it. As with previous installments, there will be one that stands out; but along with it, the viewer has to sit through the two that don't. Or vice versa.Easily the weakest of the three, Rahyan Carlos' "13th Floor" opens the proceedings with a tale of party organizers called to the job one day at a condominium that has a tragic past. Headed by Sonny (Bearwin Meily), the group is tasked to prepare a birthday party for 11-year old Alex (Jolina Reyes). But something's not right. Alex's visitors seem extremely apathetic and really weird things start happening.How much this episode works for you depends entirely on how well you can take it at face value. As campy horror films go, "13th Floor" functions on the same level as the 1995 Japanese family horror film "Haunted School (Gakko no Kaidan)" only with less verve and a more sloppy direction. Also, if the names of Meily and Keanna Reeves on the credit sequence don't tip you off on its exaggerated tongue-in-cheek nature, it might take you a while to get your bearings on and go with the flow.As he has shown in "Pamahiin," restraint is far from Carlos' mind. It's a similar case here. Fortunately, his tendency to overindulge on scares and skimp on subtlety is cushioned by the fact that nothing here is to be taken seriously. Besides, at a third less than the overall length of "Pamahiin," this episode barely avoids on overstaying its qualified welcome.The next episode - "Yaya" - is helmed by Topel Lee, who also directed "Dilim," an entry to last year's Cinema One Originals Film Festival. Treading virtually the same theme, "Yaya" stars the impressive "Star Circle Quest Grand Kid Questor" Nash Aguas as a young boy who believes his new nanny is an "aswang" - a Filipino mythical creature that goes bump at night and eats human innards for dinner.With crisp storytelling, nice shots, and a few genuinely terrifying moments, Lee's episode delivers the best among the bunch. He's also aided by Aguas' strong performance who, at a young age, surprisingly holds himself on screen better than some actors more than double his age. Iza Calzado as the nanny barely exhibits the creepy ambiguity required of her but that's just maybe because I'm so used to her playing characters on the opposite side of the spectrum.As if the fuss of rush hour and a service sometimes badly in need of a TQM seminar aren't enough, the LRT gets further bad rep with Mike Tuviera's "LRT," the installment's third and final episode. Here, it's business as usual as a handful of commuters take the last train going home late one night. But soon, something's amiss because the train doesn't stop at any station and no one seems to care that there are people still aboard. Eventually locked inside the main terminal of LRT-2 is Keempee de Leon as the de facto leader of the group, Manilyn Reynes as a mother of an asthmatic child, Eugene Domingo as a religious fanatic, Cassandra Ponti as a nurse every patient would die for, Mico Palanca as a hotheaded yuppie, and a few other younger faces. And they all must stick together if they all want to live because something's lurking in the shadows that wants to eat their hearts out. Literally.What starts like a promising narrative dives to something more like "Jeepers Creepers," which is not necessarily a bad thing. The thing is, since the whole plot is just a part of an entirety, it's heavily truncated. As such, characters are barely fleshed out (not that it matters in films like this) and there's barely someone to root for. Honestly, I didn't care who lived and who got offed. There's an attempt to humanize the characters of De Leon and Reynes towards the end but it's so awkwardly placed I'm not sure whether to take it seriously. Also, because it's a PG-13 film, gore is severely limited. (Awww, and I was getting in the mood for some "LRT Chainsaw Massacre.") In the end, "Shake, Rattle and Roll 8" in its entirety is a film that will appeal to those looking for nothing more than unabashed escapism. Personally, there's some fun to be had here, although the best part is stacked in the middle so it might be better off on DVD to be able to skip chapters. Besides, HD digital looks better there.